So, what do you think of your in-laws? I write this at risk of my DH seeing this, he stalks me on here haha! But, I am not the biggest fan of mine (my MIL said "what can I clean first" the first time she walked into my house when I had cleaned all day and wore black to my wedding), and this only got worse with children ("ok don't listen to me, it isn't like I have raised two children" is something she has said) What do you think of yours?
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Mine are semi difficult.... But not too bad. They are just tiring. They are good in small doses.
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I have the benefit of 8 hours between us but all in all I really like my inlaws. I think if they lived around the corner it might be a different story but they are helpful, well meaning and do a good job of not over stepping their bounds.
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I am super lucky. DH is an identical twin and has 1 older brother. I filled the void of the daughter they never had. Sometimes I'd rather tell my MIL something over my own mom (whom I very close to) because my MIL is always so grateful that I share so much of our life with her, and she is always positive and loving and supportive. Sometimes my mom is much less so and so it's more trouble than it's worth to go to her for advice.
For ex, I send my MIL the proofs of our maternity shoot, she flips out and is SO ecstatic and complimentary of every single photo. I send them to my mom, and she's like, "Why would you want pregnancy photos? I just don't understand..." Which kind of hurt my feelings that she didn't say anything nice because I ordered her a 5X7 of one and it was freakin' $30! I should have not ordered my mom any and put the money toward a huge one for my MIL. I ordered her the same 5X7 as my mom and when she gets it in the mail I know she'll bring it all over her whole neighborhood and show it off. Le sigh....
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They most definitely mean well...they just all love to talk non-stop so I'm exhausted after spending a day with them. It's nice that they want to help out so much with LO, but Hubby had to talk to them about giving too much unwanted advice and criticizing our parenting skills...
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@hellobeeboston @cole @ jholler25 @littlecasita11122 You are all making me jealous..... Even though my in-laws are in FL and we are in TX, they are still too close. We decided to go to NY for Christmas (where I am from and we spent the last five years) and my MIL cried. She had never said they were coming here for Christmas and even insisted that they weren't deciding yet, she still cried when my DH told her.... I wish I knew she meant well....
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They're wonderful. I love them more than I my own parents.
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They are very nice. I am lucky.
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They're great and I feel like we have a really good relationship.
@jholler25: I could have written that exact example (if I had taken maternity pics)!
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We're close and we have a great relationship; but def have had moments with MIL being over bearing.
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They're nice. I actually fin my MIL to be pretty interesting so we have interesting chats. She has a big mouth, but they rarely visit, so I don't see them much. My FIL is a nice man, but we don't really talk much one on one unless left alone.
My SIL (DH's brother's wife) is another story. My BIL too. We are all cordial but not at all close. They haven't been to visit us in 2 years, and they live a 4 hour drive away. For a variety of reasons, this causes tension with me and DH.
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I consider them my own mom and dad and I don't even like calling them my "in laws". Same with sh & my parents. We are extremely lucky we all click so well:)
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Mine are super sweet. I like them a lot, but they are pretty different than my parents.
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I try hard for DH's sake, MIL can be a little overbearing and sadly I can't take it in "small doses" because they live across the country, so wen I see them it's for a week. FIL is great though. She means well. So different from my parents though. I'll never be as close to them as my parents though, nor do I ever share any personal details.
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My MIL assumed all sorts of stuff when she first met me. Not nice things too, like negative things. I'll never forget
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They are pure psychotic wrapped with intolerance.
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@Coco Bee: same here! Except my ILs live even further so it's weeks at a time. Apparently the next visit will be for over a month!!
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We have a decent enough relationship but i think the language barrier and 4 hour plane ride apart helps!
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I LOVE my ILs and am so sad they don't live near us anymore. They used to live only 45 minutes up the road from us here in Australia and we'd head down to see them almost every weekend. I loved spending time with them, especially as all of my family is in the US and I only get to see them once or twice a year. Unfortunately, they moved back to the UK just over a year ago and we really miss them loads. It actually makes us a bit sad to go back to their old neighbourhood as we really wish they were still living here. Ah well...
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I love my mil and fil. Personally, I think that even though they can be hard to deal with at times, they are just another relationship that needs to be constantly fought for. I love them for who they are and always remember that everyone has their faults, but if they werent here I wouldnt have my darling husband. I dislike that so many people in the world have bad relationships with their inlaws, its so sad
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I love my in-laws. They drive me a little nuts sometimes because of how they treat my brother-in-law (he has major mental/emotional issues that my MIL basically refuses to acknowledge or deal with in a productive way), but they are extremely generous and I genuinely love spending time with them. My FIL is very smart and has a sharp wit, and my MIL is incredibly kind and sweet and treated me like a daughter from the start.
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@jholler - Girl, my mom would be the same way! My MIL, meh, a little more excited and would probably show people, but definitely not as excited as my sister's MIL (she's super sweet and enthusiastic!)
Overall, I think my in-laws a GREAT and I LOVE them! They are much more communicative and loving towards me (they call me more often than my own parents and told me they loved me more in a year or two than my parents have my whole life!)
They really treat me like I am really their daughter and I know they will spoil and love our LO(s) to bits and pieces.That being said, I do have an Asian MIL who can sometimes be a little exhausting and makes blunt statements that can sometimes annoy or sting. She doesn't mean much by it, it's just a trademark of Asian moms. lol. But overall, I'm very thankful for them and love them enough to vacation with them (now that's a real testament!)
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Love them
I got very lucky!
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I don't have in-laws.
DH's parents both passed away.My MIL was a nice lady. She never actually got to be my MIL though. She died 6 months before our wedding. She was very, very excited we were getting married though. She really did mean well.
My FIL died 8 months after we got married. I really liked him. We got along well. He had 3 sons, so he really did view me as the daughter he never had. He was brilliant and I'm so sad that C is not going to ever know him. He would have been an awesome g-pa.
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I loved them more than my own parents up until I had DD. Now it's like I don't even exist. I dread having to see them...
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I feel like there is good and bad with them both, but I love them both like family. That means that there are days I absolutely hate them, but I still love them. I really wish we didn't live in the same town sometimes, though.
I really have to pray sometimes to love my FIL, who I just don't understand in a lot of ways, especially how he treats his kids sometimes, but he's still family. It doesn't help that I work for him. But as long as my husband cares enough to have a relationship with him, I'll do my best.
And I've always had a good relationship with my MIL. She's gotten a bit harder I handle (and dramatic) since she's menopausal, but she means well. And she really would do anything for us.
They are both suuuper different than my family, who are very much live and let live kind of folks.
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My inlaws are the best! Love them!
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I'm so happy that so many bees have great IL relationships. I haven't been quite as lucky but do have a FIL that I adore and seven SILs that would drop everything if we needed them.
My MIL relationship has been well documented here on HB as difficult and I truly hope that some day she will come around. Our past two visits with her have actually been fairly pleasant and hopefully they continue to be. She has even (finally) acknowledged that I'm pregnant. Baby steps.
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My MIL couldn't be better-- really, she is really nice, very supportive, but almost goes out of her way not to be pushy. She has 3 sons so I'm her first 'daughter' and I couldn't ask for a better MIL. But she lives across the country from us so we don't get to see her that often, which sucks but probably also makes our relationship even better since there is no chance of the getting sick of the day to day stuff.
My FIL.... is OK (they are divorced). He doesn't seem particularly interested in us at all. I don't care if he cares about me, but it really really bothers me the way he doesn't make much of an effort with his sons. It doesn't seem to bother DH but I'm upset for him. Still he could be way worse.
ETA: Oh and my brothers in law are great. One lives in the same city as us and it really feels like having family here, even if he is DH's family not mine. The other one lives across the country too, but when we see him it's great. No complaints there. I even like the ones girlfriend so much, I think I want them to get married more than they do
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The in-laws are from Peru, and have completely different boundaries than I do.
There's a ton of drama, they are extremely needy, expect the kids to support them all the time, and want to see the kids all the time.
It's been an adjustment for me, but I know they generally mean well and have always treated me with respect so it could definitely be worse.I just have a really small family, who doesnt see each other that frequently. Their family is huge, and they are expected to see each other 1x week.
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I love my in-laws; I really lucked out! My MIL treats me just like I'm her own daughter. I wish they lived closer, and am lobbying heavily to get my MIL to move close by us!
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my inlaws are very nice people, generous and kind. they are just very different than my family. We dont have much in common so the conversation always seems very forced, like i have to prepare taking points before we go over for dinner. I also see a lot of favoritism between my hubs and his older brother with my MIL, mainly for BIL.
I'm sure my hubs could say the same thing about my parents though. The parental roles in our lives were just very different.
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FIL is laid back and is like whatever. MIL is freaking amazing. She'll cook/prepare us food when we ask her, and even helped us start off our business, then worked for us for a week so that we could have a honeymoon! She's the sweetest lady and always thinks about us!
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My MIL is great! I love her. I don't really know my FIL, my husband doesn't know him either, really.
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Mine mean well, but they are SO intrusive. Well, MIL is. FIL is just opinionated and negative and pessimistic. I can't stand to be around him. MIL doesn't take no for an answer. Hubs leaves their house feeling terrible every time because she forces so much food on him (I also have a beef with him being physically incapable of saying "no" to her). She's a huge gossip, too, so I don't like telling her anything because I know the whole family will know about it in like 2 hours.
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I LOVE my inlaws. They are wonderful!
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MIL is OK. She's a nice woman and adores LO, but her personality can be a lot to deal with sometimes, she's constantly asking questions about everything and always points out the opposing point of view for every single situation which gets annoying. Oh, and she buys so much useless crap for our house, I just put it right in the goodwill pile.
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This is one topic that I found kind of surprising when I started reading forums. I was shocked at the number of people that had problems with their in laws. I dont know if I just got lucky but my in laws are literally like second parents to me. I couldn't imagine not including them on certain things especially with my pregnancy. It made me sad when I've seen people comment that they wouldn't tell their in laws that they were in labor, etc. Maybe I'm just partial bc i have great in laws and im very grateful for that.
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@jholler25: I relate to your situation a lot!
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@anonysquire, you almost made me spit out my drink!
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