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All of the above, especially the mental load, but a big one for me is playing with my daughter. I just suck at it and hate it. Board games, activities with instructions and rules, I'm all over that, but anything that involves free play, I hate every minute of it and I feel like a total asshole about it because she's an only child and doesn't have a go-to playmate outside of me.

I guess it’s changed through different ages and stages. But above all else it was lack of sleep when they were babies. And then the change in lifestyle, basically going from selfish to selfless in the blink of an eye. I wasn’t selfish in the negative sense of the word. But I mean just being able to do whatever I want, wherever I want, whenever I want. Not having any logistics or worries when I want to make plans. That has been the biggest, most persistent obstacle.
So, sleep was by far the hardest but short lived. Change in lifestyle is 2nd and more ongoing.
But it is easier and easier as they get older and I know this too is a phase that will seem short lived in a few years, once they can be home alone and all that jazz. It’s just a phase I’m still in right now so it SEEMS eternal.

@Mrs. Carrot: I totally relate to this post. I suck at free play. My daughter is an only child (for awhile longer anyway) and 5 and I feel terrible about it, but I hate it! I don't know what happened. I babysat when I was younger and that was my strong suit

@Mrs. Carrot: @beckysue: Same. I don't know why I dislike free/imaginative play so much. When my older DD was much younger it was a little easier since she didn't really care how I played with her or what I was really saying as long as I was part of it. Then she went through a phase of wanting me to say/do specific things while playing with her and it was SO FRUSTRATING. And I mean, it all makes sense and is age appropriate but if you're going to ask me to play with you then let me do it! Don't keep telling me I'm doing it wrong or what to say or where to put the dolls or how to pose them. I don't think I'm imaginative enough for it after years of adulthood and I really admire parents who can truly suspend their logical side and dig in and play like that with their kids.

I agree with a lot of these posts. I think for me, I just feel so responsible for everything and everyone all the time to an irrational degree. Always planning, making lists, double-checking backup scenarios, surveying for moods, and keeping all the wheels turning smoothly while also trying to be a superstar employee, attentive wife, and supportive daughter/sister/friend. Most of the time I feel good and like I have things together, sometimes I really don't. And I'm a fake-it-till-you-make-it type of girl so I rarely ever ask for help which is something I've really been trying to change.