Hellobee Boards

Well, Xander's only 15 months, so I can't say whether anything I'm doing will actually pay off in the long run, but my biggest piece of advice is to just not give in.

For example, last night Xander was having a FIT at dinner. He wanted the spoon, so I gave him one (he's practicing using one), but then he ended up throwing it and half his food all over the floor and having a meltdown. So I just cleaned him up and said we were all done. I put him on the floor, where he threw himself to the ground and cried for a good 10 minutes while I finished cleaning up. I knew he was still hungry, but I wasn't willing to give into whatever demands he was making, so I took him for a walk instead, and then tried dinner again once we got home and he had calmed down.

So... basically, just don't give in. If he screams and you do whatever he wants, he'll know that that tactic works. If he screams and you don't give in, he'll eventually learn that that doesn't work. As far as putting things in his mouth, I just have to watch Xander and take things away from him when I see him do stuff like that and then I'll give him something else.

My dd is also 9 months and has started doing some of the same things (crying when I leave the room, being a distractible monkey during diaper changes/bottles/meals, pulling hair, grabbing faces).... BUT i think they are developmentally normal behaviours and her way of exploring & learning about the world. I don't think this young that they are doing it to misbehave, so I'm just trying to ride out the storm. No help , I know... But I can sympathize !!

ETA: distractions are my best friend...a high quality toy during diaper changes, silly voices during meals, my phone (whatever works!). For some reason she finds the word "no" hilarious and laughs her head off while trying again, lol

@Silva: totally agree with heading off tired/hungry meltdowns--that is usually when LO loses it, so preparing for that by getting him to sleep on time or having food handy is always helpful at this age (20 months). And yes re: managing your emotions too--I often have to take a deep breath and count to 10 so I don't lose it when he is really just being a toddler!

M LO is 9 months & I have no idea if what I do with her is "helpful" but when she cries while I need to finish dinner or something but she just wants to be with me, I set her up in her exersaucer or just on the floor with toys & talk to her. I tell her she is okay, mommy is finishing (dinner, laundry, going potty, whatever) & we can play when I'm done. When I catch her putting something her mouth she shouldn't I tell her "no we don't put that in our mouth it's yucky/dangerous". She is definitely understanding the meaning of no & is generally a good listener for someone that doesn't really understand the world or consequences. We have wiggle problems at diaper changes that I haven't found a solution to yet....

@Modern Daisy: You're definitely not being lazy! If anything you're being proactive by even thinking about this kind of stuff.

I agree with @hilsy85: that this is all developmentally normal. My LO is *almost* 12 months old, and he does everything you listed. In fact, I was up with him at 5 AM, because he woke up upset and screamed whenever I would leave the room after calming him down. Eventually he fell back asleep after several rocking sessions and back patting. I think that kind of behavior is typical for his age... he just wants mama to stay with him and gets upset when I leave!

Same with putting everything in his mouth. EVERY. THING. goes in his mouth. I tell him "don't eat!" when he grabs something he shouldn't eat, but he doesn't get it. In his head, since he's allowed to eat and mouth certain things, why can't he eat and mouth all the things? I'm hoping this clicks once he gets a little older, because I'm always worried he's going to find something and eat it before I notice!

For the spoon thing, we have that issue sometimes... I give him a spoon to hold, and then I feed him off of another spoon. That usually works!

Basically, I wouldn't stress, because you're definitely not alone

@Modern Daisy: I'm glad you started this thread because S displays a lot of the behavior talked about here and I just thought she was being super difficult...I actually thought about starting a thread last week about it to find out if my baby was more of a PITA than most! Anyway! What I've found works is that the screaming because she didn't get her way thing is pretty short lived and I don't really need to do much about it besides ignoring it and moving on after taking the evasive action to do/stop her doing something. Sometimes if she's being particularly fussy and I know there's nothing wrong I walk out of the room and come back in a few minutes and she's happily playing by herself again. I think it's worse when I'm in the same room but I can't give her my full attention for whatever reason. As for the saying no thing, like @Charm54: said, S thinks me saying no is funny and will often make a "hmph" or "no" noise in response and smile. At 9 months she definitely understands that no means stop what you're doing because she does stop and listen. I also spent most of the past couple of months saying no and taking my hair out of her hands when she grabbed it and she doesn't do that anymore so I don't know if it's sunk in? Also she has bit me a couple of times in the past few days and when that happens I put her down and walk out of the room for a moment. The nappy changing is also a bit of a pain now because if she isn't holding something she'll try and grab her legs/crotch! A toy she hasn't seen all day usually helps!

You are not alone though!

I don't know if any of this works long-haul, but here's what I do with my 9-month old.
-when I leave the room, I hold up one finger and say "1 minute. Be right back". I don't sneak away. If she complains, I say "come on" and she follows me, sometimes whimpering all the way. Then she gets distracted in the new room and everything is ok.
-I let her cry for naps. She usually stops in under 5 min. Also, I think she's often not tired enough. I'm going to start trying longer waketimes.
-the second LO tries to stand in the bath, I take her out. Every time. It's my non-negotiable.
-i do elevate or hide most things. Some thing (like clean shoes, remotes), I've given up on. She'll survive. I do have a floor plant that she isn't supposed to touch. It's the practise in saying no. At first I had to say no and redirect her but now I think she knows she's not supposed to touch it, so she stops when I say "don't touch it" (and then I give lots of clapping and yea!!!s)
She had a mega meltdown this weekend, but she had missed a nap, so I think being tired really makes her less patient.