I'm thinking about sleep training with the Ferber method, but I'm worried that my LO will get more pissed with the checks. What method did you use and why? Was it successful?
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Extinction was the only thing that worked for our LO. We would go in for checks and he would escalate. You could always start with checks if it makes you more comfortable...but if you're finding that it's not working after the first night, switch and try to stay consistent with whatever you find is working.
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Neither - we did a mix of a bit of everything. On wake ups, we set the timer for 30 minutes. If he cried longer than 30 minutes, we did the No Cry Sleep Solution method. Pick up and soothe, then put down. It seemed to work really well!
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I thought the same thing about my LO but ended up checking the first night anyway. We set limits at 7, 10, and 12 minutes. It somehow made us feel a little better but I don't know if it helped or prolonged the crying, to be honest. Every night since the first, we've never had to check on him because he hasn't met our time limit on crying and it's really just fussing. Some nights he goes down without a peep. It's only been 2 weeks but I'm hopeful he's learned!
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@2PeasinaPod: Exactly this.
We tried Ferber and it just made things worse so we ended up going full extinction and it worked wonderfully for us!
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When we sleep trained the first time (LO was about a year?), we did extinction because checks got her more pissed off. The 2nd night, she cried for 2+ hours
When we sleep trained the 2nd time (after her baby brother was born and she was about 2), we did checks-- and she would stop crying after the 3rd check or less! 5, 10, 15 mins is what we did. She seemed to understand us better at this age, so we would go in, pat/hug her (no picking up!), and explain that it was time for her to go to sleep, and that we would play in the morning.
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We did both. At the 4.5 month mark, we did the Ferber method with the checks. I'll admit, we picked her up the first couple of times. The max amount of time she cried before falling asleep was maybe a little over an hour. By the third day, it was only 5 minutes.
At the 9 month mark, we used extinction to wean her off of her 5am feed. It took a little longer, maybe a week?
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Started with Ferber but ended with full extinction.
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Extinction at first, and I believe that's how he taught himself to sleep, but now that he can roll onto his stomach and prefers to sleep that way, if he fusses/cries for more than 10 minutes while going to sleep (pretty unusual, but it does happen still sometimes) then I go in and rub his back until he calms down, then he will fall asleep. I've never had to do it twice. FWIW, we sleep trained while he was still swaddled, which I know isn't recommended, but it worked quickly with us and stuck through the 4 month sleep regression (we did it at 3.5 months).
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We used checks. It's the only way she wouldn't get completely hysterical.
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When we first trained we used extinction because the checks made things worse and meant we had to start the clock again each time we went in knowing she'd cry for at least that length of time again!
When we have had to re-train we have used checks and that works best now...usually one check after 5 minutes and it doesn't get to another 5 minutes before she's asleep.
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@ctownmacaron: We did Sleep Easy Solution which is similar to ferber. We did checks but never picked up LO, just soothed him with our voices and only for a few seconds. For night breastfeedings, we did dream feeds until he was able to wean night feeds.
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