We're just starting to train my DD. She's really good at letting me know she just peed so far haha - we're having her sit on a schedule and that's working. Just wanting to hear what worked or didn't work foe your LOs? How old, how long it took, what the journey looked like... Thanks!
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My older son basically trained himself, so that’s no help. My younger son made us (is still making us!) work for it. What I found really made the difference was going without pants. I read the Oh Crap book and it said that a diaper, pull-ups, and underpants all basically gave the body the same feeling, and you needed something different - no pants made them think about it. We started when he was just over 3, over the Easter long weekend. Day 1 was no pants and pretty successful, day 2 he had pants and no undies, by day 3 he was in undies. It’s been four months and he still sometimes has accidents, mostly when he gets involved in playing and we don’t remind him. We also had a harder time with poop, and had to move to a serious bribery system, but that was also pretty effective.
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Tried Oh Crap at 2.5 and it was an embarrassing and epic fail. Let it go for six months and he trained himself day and night (with help from daycare) and veryyyyy little work on my part. I’m now a believer in waiting!!
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I second going without pants; and also no training pants except for naps and long car rides (1+ hours; you could get hard core and get pee pads if you live somewhere you are in the car for long drives a lot). DD2 it was several months before she was well trained and it was because my mom would put her in training pants at her house. I also reinstated treats/rewards to help get back on track after any regressions.
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My older DD was not interested in potty training at all, so I finally had to force it at three or she wouldn’t have been able to go to preschool. I did the three day method, with no pants on and tarps laid out on the floor, and it worked pretty well.
My second is appearing to be totally different. She just turned two a couple months ago, and is taking the lead. She’s telling us she has to go (sometimes) for both pee and poop, and will remove her diaper and throw it away if she pees in it and feels uncomfortable. We’re talking to her a lot about it as well as reading books, but aren’t pushing her.
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We tried on and off from about 20 months on with our son because he liked to sit on the potty (but not potty). 🤦♀️ I never really forced it until right before his 3rd birthday. We made a sticker chart with hot wheels as reward when he got x amount of stickers; and bribed him with some thomas the train and McQueen underwear. He had a handful of pee accidents, 2 poop accidents, and then all of a sudden was night and day potty trained at around 7-10 days after his birthday.
He was probably ready anyways, but I was really tired of pullups and the fact that he would bring me a clean one to change him or change himself as soon as he potties in it.
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When my daughter was about 2.5, we got a training potty. The white one that looks like a real potty. She didn't want to sit on it at first. We would try to get her to just play with it. Then she saw another friend using the same potty while at a play date. She then had a little interest in her potty. We read her the Elmo potty book. Then, last month at about 34.5 months old, we went cold turkey and haven't looked back. We stayed home for a couple of days. Tops and no pants. We just said "tell me when you have to go potty". No accident at first. Small half accident the second time when she was playing with blocks on the ground. The second day I put undies on her and she had an accident right away. I read that undies feel like diapers. So we did not undies for a few days. We stayed home for about 4 days. We gave m&ms when she went potty. Its been pretty easy. Still sometimes she has a small accident before she remembers to go to the bathroom, but never like full pee down her leg. Every kid is different and i'm sure my next one will be the difficult one. Good luck!!
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We did Oh Crap when DD was 2.5 and she was pretty much trained by day 2. After that she very, very rarely had accidents. She was so easy and I’m sure we won’t be as lucky next time,
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We read Oh Crap and had great luck. 25 months my son seemed ready- hiding to poop and could say ABCs (her milestone indicators). We did no undies part-time for a few days (we were on vacation), so a modified bootcamp. Made a big deal when he pooped. His personality was conducive to potty training- smart and eager to please but not too independent or stubborn. And he was young. He had like 1 poop accident, but semi-peed at daycare for a year or so. He has to be very comfortable with the adults he's with to tell them he has to pee. Never used pullups, he can hold it all night since he was like 2. We did bribe with M&Ms when he pooped which worked really well, he's very treat-driven lol. He got a small piece of candy after he pooped for like a year!! Hey, it was better than cleaning up poop messes! He was a dream. I'm worried what DS2 will be like!
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We also followed the oh crap method, modified to fit our life. We started when he was around 2.5. He was naked waist down for a day, then had pants but not underwear for 2-3 days. We put a little potty in whatever room we were playing in so we could get him on there as quickly as possible. I would say it took about 6 days for him to be trained. Daycare really helped, DS is definitely a follower and other kids in his class were being trained at the same time.
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We did the Oh Crap method when DD1 was 22 months. We wouldn't have done it quite so early except I was home on maternity leave with DD2 so it seemed like the perfect time to be able to stay home with her for a full week without having to take vacation time. We had some ups and downs with it for a few months. She had a couple regressions with getting 2-yr molars, then with switching rooms at daycare, but I considered her fully trained around 26 months. She is now 3yr4mo and still wears a pullup overnight and it's always soaked, so I think she will for a while. I have no interest in the book's method of overnight training - we all value our sleep too much!
DD2 is now 20 months and I'm starting to think about it with her. She is very interested and has actually peed on the potty 1-2 times a day for the last 4 months - we always put her on before bath time and anytime she asks (she's not talking much but we taught her the sign for potty). So I think she could do it now with a lot of effort on our parts, but the timing just isn't right for us. My work is really busy right now and I'd prefer to wait. I'm thinking we'll do it either over the New Year's long weekend (I get Mon/Tues of NY eve/day off, and might take the previous Fri to have 5 days home), OR I'm due with baby #3 1/22, so we could wait until I'm home on leave with that baby again. I'm nervous she might regress if we do it so close to baby 3 coming, but I also don't want to wait too long when she's so interested now...
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We don't really potty train, so that's what it's been like!
My oldest was 3.5 when she trained herself. She was pretty reluctant/stubborn about it, as she went to daycare full time and obviously they were "training" her and we also model/encourage at home but we've never done any intensive all or nothing kind of training. At 3.5 she was just ready one day, we never looked back and she rarely had accidents; probably under 5. She also night trained herself around 4-ish, with a few accidents.
So now my 2nd is 2.5 and we're also just going to take the wait till you're ready route.
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We had to start with my oldest when he was almost 3 due to daycare/preschool. He was not ready and it was a fight. And he's very strong willed. He is about to turn 4 and he is totally daytime pee trained but it took like... 8 months. Doesn't stay dry at night. Still refuses to poop on the potty and just poops in his underwear when he has to go. It's been awful TBH and not sure when it will improve. I clean poop up like... all the time.
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I'll come back to this but we starts at 26 months with my boy and he was done at 2.5 years (30 months).
We did modified OCPT: We did light boxers instead of no pants/no undies, we used pullups when out-and-about after the first week, we did set potty times (before and after going out, before and after meals, before sleep, etc). I don't think the pull-ups derailed us because he was in cloth diapers before, so pull-ups felt different for sure. He never used the pull-ups unless it was an accident, so like 4-5x a week in the beginning then less toward the end.
I think reading OCPT was GREAT for getting my head in the game and having lots of ideas to pull from. The poop chapter was great and she compiled a lot of research showing most kids can potty train at 2 just fine, and that historically potty-training has gotten later and later over time in America, needlessly.
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It helped me to realize being ready for potty training means being ready to learn - not that is just going to happen magically.
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DD was potty trained at home for about two weeks before she was potty trained at school. She kept having accidents at school and didn't go on the potty at all. It was so frustrating and we never could figure out why. She even went in a portajohn before she would go at school. 🤷♀️
They made us send her in diapers, but agreed to leave undies on under the diaper. Then a day later her friend went on the potty and she decided she wasn't going to be shown up and kept using the potty at school.
She has had three accidents since, all were parental fault. We forgot to tell her to go before she would go outside to play and couldn't get back inside in time. Oops.
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We waited a long time for DS and I would say he's now 85% done after about 3 weeks of working on it with him in earnest. I was initially determined to wait until he trained himself/was 1000% ready, but he had stayed very resistant to the idea of ever using the potty. But we are now in the middle of a month with no school or camp, and he is coming up on 3.5, and I just felt we had to try. I just wanted to share my story because it seems like we are in a middle territory between the poles I've usually heard about of potty training either being a cinch or being totally miserable. We tried a modified/wimpier Oh Crap method, and he definitely was still struggling by day 2 or 3--not the magical results you hope for--and I feared that we were in for a many-months long battle, as those are sort of the two poles I've heard about. He would go in the potty if properly motivated but DEFINITELY refused to notify anyone he had to go, and as soon as we put undies on him he'd go in them. But we just stuck with it and tried not to be too draconian about anything, and I'm pleased to say that it seems to have clicked for him, and now he's suddenly pretty proud of going on the potty and generally able to ask to go. He is still having a few accidents here and there, but overall he has really improved greatly in a short time (not 2 days short but it has felt relatively quick to us) and we have not faced miserable drawn out battles. So it was better than I feared especially after those days-weeks when we were facing constant accidents.
Also he did basically train himself for the overnights--he was still waking up with wet pull-ups so I wasn't going to push it, but one night he just announced he was not wearing a pull-up and was wearing undies (I think he finally agrees with us they're WAY comfier) and he has kept the bed dry every night since (knock on wood!)!
ETA sorry this turned into more of a novel than I intended. We're just getting through it and I'm trying not to talk about peeing and pooping with everyone in my life so this is a good outlet, lol.
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I posted this because we are starting to train DD (27 mos), a lot because our nanny and my mom insisted she was ready. She has great communication and would go if sitting on the potty if we managed to catch her at the right time. I WOH which leaves the bulk of training to the nanny unfortunately, but if she's willing then I would try. I guess I was hoping for more obvious clues from DD?
Started on Sat so I could be in charge the first few days - we did a mix of no pants time hanging out in the kitchen and training underpants, and sitting on the potty on a schedule(ish).
She was really good at telling me she had just gone potty.
Last night she started giving physical clues she needed to pee then holding it until she was on the potty! And this morning she told me she needed to go then we sat her down and sure enough she went! Hoping things get easier from here on out but we still haven't seen a poop on the potty (she seems to mostly go during her nap).
Thanks for all your stories! It's so interesting to see the range of how people handled this and when.
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@MrsADS: I feel for you mama! We are in the same boat. My 4 year old DS refuses to poop on the potty. My mom and I are constantly cleaning poop. It's a nightmare.
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@MrsADS: @paigeface: We had the same problem. My MIL handed DS a hand me down Cars underwear when he was with them. She told him that he had to keep Lightning McQueen clean and it worked. This was 8 months after he was pee trained.
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