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2-2.5 years for us! Both DH and I have siblings who are 3 years older and we love that gap but want it to be the max.

I just answered for our family, and that will be 3.5 years. But its based completely on our life circumstances and has nothing to do with how old the children will be (aside from the fact that I didn't want them close together, and I'd prefer the oldest be potty trained).

@Cherrybee: It definitely depends on the kid! I don't think my brother was potty trained until almost 4!! And I was around 3 I think.

2-3 years. Months ago, I was eager to try around LO's first birthday. Now as he's closer to 2, I'm thinking in the next couple of months to give about a 3 year age gap. For us, it's personal situation of needing to move (which I hate), weight loss, and toddlerhood.

@littlek: haha, yeah, I think boys tend to be harder to potty train. Ugh... so not looking forward to that. But I agree that we were potty trained pretty late!

@Adira: Did you go to daycare? I hear that kids that go to daycare are quicker to potty train. I think it's the peer pressure of all the other kids peeing on the pot. I know B loves to watch us potty and he likes sitting on the potty. But he doesn't do anything else, well that's not true, he sings while he is sitting there and then says "all done."

Honestly, I don't think there is an "ideal" gap! My one sister and I were 17 months apart and very close growing up; we are still close now. My youngest sister is 8 years younger than I am, and although we were not close growing up, we are very close now (at 18 and almost 26). The two kids I nanny are exactly 4 years apart; there are good parts (the oldest is in school FT, he is mostly independent around the house, able to help out a little bit with the youngest, etc.) and not so good parts (they don't play together much because they are at such different places developmentally, and so on).

I know you are freaking out a little about your husbands sudden baby fever but I don't think there is a right answer to this question! You have to do what is best for your family.

For our family, we hope it's 2.5-3 years apart!

My brother and I are 20 months apart and grew up very close and he is still one of my closest confidants. So I'd like to have children closer together than further apart just from personal experience.

We probably aren't having another but if we were we'd shoot for a 3-3.5 year age gap. I would want to enjoy the first few years with just one, space out daycare expenses (and college expenses later on), hopefully the older one would be more self-sufficient when the younger is born, etc. I know some people like to just get the newborn stage over with so they have their kids back to back but that has never appealed to me and especial doesn't now that I actually have a LO. Having 2 under 2 would not be good for my mental health!

My boys are 2.5 years apart. Exactly what @yin said! Took the words right out of my mouth.

@Cherrybee: I don't put too much stock in age spacing and subsequent relationships growing up. My older sister and I are 4 years apart (5 years in school due to birthdays) and we have always been super close, though we did used to wish we were closer in age. My two little sisters are just two years apart and are also really close. So I think it's more important to space based on the parents needs and wishs- financially, wanting to get the newborn days done, whatever.

For us we will aim for a 2.5-3 year gap probably. Like you I'm in my 30s and not getting younger, but I also want time to really enjoy C as an only child... And time to let that mommy amnesia set in about the first few months.

That said, last night I realized that I am actually looking forward to doing it all over again! I was thinking about baby kicks in my belly and was a tiny bit excited. But not yet!!

I voted 2 but I think 2-3 would be ideal for me. My sister is 7 years younger than me, and we weren't close till she was in high school & I was done with college!

I haven't had my first yet, but my brother and I are almost exactly one year apart....I think two years would have been better. It may have been our personalities, but we hated each other growing up. Now it's not a problem and we're pretty close. I think we'll be doing at least 2 years in between ours.

Right around two years - young enough to eliminate a lot of the jealousy issues, but old enough that they are somewhat self-sufficient. Our two girls are 19 months apart, which was a bit on the early end of our timeline as we said ideally 18-22 months apart, but it has been nice. It definitely has its challenges, but it is so, so nice to snuggle with my two babies and soak up every minute of their sweet babyhood. I'm also really looking forward to doing things as a family that both kids will enjoy as they'll pretty much be at the same stage developmentally all their lives.

Now that being said, if we have a third, it won't be for another 2.5-3 years at least! Two I can manage, just barely somedays, but three might be enough to push me over the edge!

@Cherrybee: haha, no, not at all! Don't forget, you're working and activities are usually right after school, so that means organizing after care as well as potentially leaving the school campus.

My mom told me that the hardest part of having 3 children was the time when we were more or less all in elementary school. I was in one school, my middle brother in another because they redistricted and my youngest brother has special needs, so she was literally in the car from 8:30-4 with our drop offs, activities, pick ups, etc.

There's no perfect answer...I mean, there is a happy medium which would involve either a SAHM or a nanny, or possibly leveraging grandparents.