For me, it's the sheer grind of the day-to-day. There's so much to get done and so little time, and so everything has to be done every day. Just finished the dishes, am about to put the kids down... and then once they are down, Bee and I will begin the prep work for tomorrow. It just never ends and there's rarely a break... and if you don't do the work at night, you have to set the alarm and wake up early to get it done.
What's the hardest part of balancing work and parenting?
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
The never-ending part is really hard for me, especially since D isn't around to help with dinner/bath/bed most nights. I feel like I'm just going and going and going and even after E is asleep I'm cooking and cleaning and trying to muster the energy to work out, let alone finding time to relax and/or spend time with D when he gets home. I don't sleep enough, and E is still waking up at night (this past week was sleep hell) and then it starts all over again with me barely able to catch a breath...
honeydew / 7811 posts
Not having enough energy! Sometimes I think if I just was a little more energetic I could clean more/be more productive at work/cook more/be a better mom/etc.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
The lack of free time. Last night, I came home from work and after dinner, instead of relaxing, the dishwasher needed emptying, pots needed to be washed, etc.
I have no downtime, not even on the weekends and it is beginning to take its toll.
pomelo / 5041 posts
Feeling like neither gets your full attention! I have so much going on at work and a busy almost 1 year old. They both require lots of time and energy and with two more on the way I'm very stressed about how much worse it will get. I'm a perfectionist and will have to learn to let a lot go in the future.
papaya / 10570 posts
I love the answers in this thread; I sometimes feel like the only person who feels like this...... For me its the sheer neverendingness of the grind. I am woken, always before the alarm, by E needing me and from then its non-stop; I move from baby chasing to commuting to working (managing the team from hell) to commuting to baby chasing to housework to dinner to housework to bed to night wakings to being woken before the alarm and it all starts again. Then the weekend comes - cue more early starts and fitting chores around a demanding toddler - and before you know it Monday rolls around and you haven't had a minute's rest. I look ahead and its just more and more of the same with no respite at all! Its my life and I love it but man its hard.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
I am animal of habit, so I don't mind the grind since my husband and I work the same hours. We are basically SUPER productive from the hours of 6am-7pm. I think the toughest part for me is that if there's anything additional to be done, there's rarely any time to do it. Like, if I need a new dress for a wedding or something, I can't just go out and shop. I have to set aside a few hours on a free night, or take a day off.
pomegranate / 3331 posts
there are lots of tough things about it, but the hardest for me is finding time for myself and for me and DH as a couple. It feels like the weekends roll around and i'm like "MUST SOAK UP EVERY SECOND OF TIME WITH LO" because i miss her so much during the week, but i also miss my husband and my pre-baby activities!
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Feeling like I'm not doing my best in either area. I can't be the teacher I used to be now because I just don't have the extra time to devote. And I feel guilty for being tired after work when I have time with Liam.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
The guilt.
Guilt over "I should be working more hours to show my dedication to my career but I want to be home with my child as many hours as possible."
Guilt about leaving my child at daycare while I go to work.
Guilt about making the wrong daycare choices.
Guilt about not always having a home cooked meal on the table at night.
Guilt about not playing with my toddler because I have to make dinner.
Guilt about not spending more time with my child and neighbor kids because I don't have time to do so.
So. Much. Guilt.
pomegranate / 3113 posts
On a day-to-day basis, I agree with @looch: that the lack of downtime gets to me. Having just come back from a business trip, though, I'd also say travel. It's hard trying to schedule (my DH and I both travel, not a ton, but enough to make things tricky since one of us always needs to be here), hard on the parent who is traveling and missing LO (and I can't wait to not have to pump in business trips anymore), and hard on the parent who is solo for the week. We're both very happy in our jobs and wouldn't trade them, but it's just definitely harder now than it used to be.
kiwi / 641 posts
I would agree with Mrs. Wagon and Pirouette....the hardest thing for me is not having the flexibility to do the "extra stuff" or to be able to take time for myself. With rare exceptions all of that is saved for the weekends...but then I feel the need to spend as much time with DD and as a family as possible (oh and clean and do the essential errands that we never have the energy for during the week) that most of the extra stuff/me time never happens.
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