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Oh no! I probably would have done the same thing, and felt the same way after. Can you maybe mark off the rest of the days on your regular calendar? That way she can still have the idea of advent and counting down to Christmas but without the nice calendar she ripped up? And then if there were a bible verse or treat or something that went along with opening the windows, you could still do that part with her after marking her X each day?

I would have done the same. Perhaps next year you will have another special Advent calendar, but for this Christmas season the calendar is broken.

ETA: agree with @Mrsroo: use the regular calendar to mark off the rest of the season.

Yes. It's ruined so I would not replace it.

I'm a softie. I'd probably make her skip another two days but then buy a new one for the remaining week or whatever. I don't think 3-year-olds have the capacity to understand long-term consequences.

@Trailmix: I'm a softie too, so realistically I would likely buy another one - but not for at least a good solid week so that lo understands longer term consequences.

@Cherrybee: Is it the type with candy in it? Did she eat all the candy? If it contained non-food items, did she play with them? I guess for me, it's all about the intent.

If my LO knew she was only supposed to open one window a day, and she opened them all because she couldn't wait, there's no way she'd get another calendar. But if she was just trying to peek and accidentally tore it, then it would largely depend on what she did with the contents.

I think that is a lot of self control to expect out of a 3 year old, but i probably would have done the same thing as you. maybe next year remove the temptation by having one that only had one treat at a time? or keep it somewhere that she.cant get to and only get it out when its time?

I would do the same thing but I would keep the mangled Advent calendar and show her every time she asked where it is or why she can't open a window.

Perhaps you can turn it into a learning experience and make your own Advent calendar together. Especially if she tore the original for candy - perhaps you make a new one that doesn't have candy as the consequence but still has the fun of Advent. Maybe she can put a sticker on the calendar for each day or you can decorate envelopes together that you can later fill with a small prize (sticker, temporary tattoo, paper crown, etc) and hang them up on a string. I've seen cute ones where you have a green paper or felt tree and you decorate it each day with an ornament made of stickers or felt for each day of Advent.

I would have thrown it out too if it wasn't salvageable!

I probably would have bought another one a few days later to give her a second chance and let her show she can change her behaviour with it. But maybe I'm too much of a softie lol. If she was older I definitely wouldn't replace. I feel like at 3 though, they are still learning and offering second chances gives them the opportunity to demonstrate better choices.

@Cherrybee: That's a tough one! If it was DD, I'd probably give her a second chance but not buy a new one. To be honest, I'd be impressed she didn't actually touch the chocolates. I'd make it a learning experience somehow. Even if she doesn't get a new one, remember that you're feeling way worse about it than she is. Don't beat yourself up - there isn't a right or wrong with these things.

I'd probably just skip a day but save the chocolate and do what @erinbaderin: suggested.

I think life seems so long for kids that a day or two is plenty at that age for a consequence to sit in. And at least for my kids it cements better when they have a chance to act right then. If I wait too long to let them try to fix their mistake and behave like I asked I feel like they've forgotten the consequences.

Oh yes in that case, I would just let her use it as is. Her consequences that she doesn't have a pretty advent calendar anymore.

I'm not sure exactly what I would have done.... Probably something very similar to what you did. I will say, we have gone to some counseling for some challenges with our 4 year old and our counselor told us that even our 4 year old cannot necessarily fully comprehend long term consequences like this. Yes, he can repeat back what the consequence is and why but that the brain development for truly understanding that isn't all there yet. I have a hard time sometimes remembering this so I am not at all saying what you did was or was not right. Sometimes it is so hard to take away something special when they've made a mistake and need a consequence. I am sorry that happened! Maybe still using this advent calendar but only on the "usable" days like some others suggested would be a good compromise? If she asks on a day that's ruined you can show her that it's broken/ruined from her actions and there's nothing to open for that day?

@Cherrybee: I am impressed she didn't eat the chocolate! My son wouldn't have had that discipline at your daughter's age.

My son just turned 6 and this is the first year we've not had issues with the advent calendar (and by issues I mean waiting to open each door).