Hellobee Boards

My work/life balance. I feel guilty about putting my career on a faaaaarrrr back burner to spend more time with my daughter. But then when I think of, say, going a day without seeing her so that I can go to a work event after work (I don't see her in mornings bc I start early) I feel horrible guilt for even considering that. So basically either way I'm going to feel super guilty. lol.

Patience. This pregnancy makes me so much more impatient with lo than I want to be, and then I get snippy which makes her more whiny or tantrummy or whatever it was that was making me lose my patience in the first place.

Also, I drink more coffee during my current pregnancy than I did during my first. I'm still under the ACOG recs, but some days I prob push it. But then again, it goes hand in hand with patience for my toddler's (completely developmentally appropriate but still frustrating) antics, so...

Food. I don't cook often (I hate to cook) and while I do pay attention to what I'm feeding him, I never feel it's good enough. I order delivery and worry that I don't know every ingredient.
If I buy a roast chicken from the market and give him frozen veggies and rice I feel like a lazy bad mom because I didn't make any of it myself. Or because he had it last week. Or because the veggies aren't fresh.
And I rely a lot on frozen food.
I worry that I've ruined his good eating habits (used to give him fish and quinoa and all kinds of healthy things) because frozen meatballs are way easier.
He has a PB sandwich for lunch almost every day because he loves it and it's easy. I worry that he doesn't get enough variety.
I worry that I give him too many carby snacks. Or too much cheese. Or too much yogurt.

I haven't always felt this way about food, but lately (last couple months) I feel immense guilt.

Right now I am attending a lot (well, like 1-2 times a week) of evening work events and networking events that I’m required to be at, and I feel guilty about that. (This is in addition to working FT)

Then again, I keep telling myself that NO ONE would bat an eye at a man attending evening work events, or working multiple jobs where he ends up rarely seeing his kids at all during the week or traveling tons for work, etc. so I know I need to remind myself of that wonderful double standard and cut myself a break, but it's hard.

@Mama Bird: I feel this so much. In my area, there are kids literally sleeping in state offices because there aren't enough foster families. I want to help but at the same time, I'm so exhausted and overwhelmed just dealing with my own two kids and working full-time (and my husband is super-involved, present and helpful!) that I don't know how I'd be able to take more in. So many people have less than us but do so much more! I feel guilty that I don't have that stamina and feel tremendous guilt that I'm not doing more to help people or make the world a better place.

I feel zero guilt about my own kids, haha. Yeah they may watch too much TV or eat PB&J every day but they're growing up extremely privileged, have two loving parents and a nice house, have all needs met and then some. I try to keep perspective on that - I think it's terrible that wonderful, loving, involved moms feel guilty for such tiny "failures" (kids are well-fed but it's not the perfect food, kids are read books and play outside but they also watch a couple hours of TV, etc.). We've created a pretty bad over-achieving parenting culture and I think it's taking away from seeing the actual problems we should be worried about (like homeless foster kids).

For me it's when my DD is having difficulty going #2. She is potty trained 100% for #1 but still requests a diaper for #2 and will hold it some days if the urge hits her at daycare so then she'll end up holding it for a day or two and then it's a drama fest when she tries to go.. we're talking upwards of 40 mins of her trying and the entire time she has to hold my hand, she has to stand and I have to sit and I can't get up or leave or do anything.. just sit there and hold her hand while she pushes... I feel so bad for her but after 15 mins I get really frustrated. She won't let DH tag in either. I know it's only like once or twice a month but man does it frustrate me and I feel badly about that.

Not being able to attend all of his therapy sessions. I work full time and they're always schedule so far apart I can't make it. This week I was able to be at three! Felt nice!

I also don't have as much patience with my almost-17 mo as I'd like. On one hand it's so amazing the independence she's learning & ability to make choices before she can even say a lot of the words, but wow is she trying my patience! The worst right now is trying to get her into her carseat. She says no & stiffens up or twists around & we end up wrestling & I snap at her, or I bribe her with a pouch. I don't like the way that is going at all... and I know it's just beginning!