Got this great comment on a blog post:
<< "Famous researcher John Gottman says you need to have 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction to maintain a good marriage. When I feel silly for thanking him for doing what he should be doing, I think of that ratio. I know that by doing small nice gestures, I'm maintaining our great relationship." >>
What's your ratio of positive to negative interactions with your SO?
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Maybe 10-1? Positive to negative. Negative is mostly me making fun or teasing though. HAHA
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I'm happy to say that we are probably well above five to one positive to negative. I'll take an actual count and update 
But even for today, I think we're already at two or three positive
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I think we are well above the 5 to 1, we joke around a lot and keep the fun and lightness in our marriage. However, on some of my moody days I could probably slip into causing a lower ratio...I blame it on the hormones!
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@chopsuey119: @MamaMoose: OMG, 10:1??
I need more details... what's your secret?
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I think 5:1 is a good ratio for us also. Like @jessiejo17, we joke around a lot also.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
We have so many positive interactions versus negative. It is probably over 5:1.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
@mrbee: I would say it's mainly just that we interact a lot! Hubs and I call/email each other a fair amount through out the work day just to say hi and see how the other one is doing. And all of those interactions are positive. It's not unusual for us to go days at a time without any negative interaction, so the positives tend to run up on the negatives pretty quickly. But I guess talk to me again once we have a child! Maybe that will change....?
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
What counts as a positive interaction? A text message? A "welcome home" kiss? Holding hands watching TV? I would say we have 10-15 positive interactions every day but not all of them are verbal. We do say "love you, babe" and that kind of stuff to each other a lot, too, but it's more out of habit than anything.
apricot / 384 posts
I would go so far as to include kisses as positive interaction - though DH and I rarely "peck". Not that we're making out, but we take our time kissing hello and goodbye. Or at night when we relax on the couch we're almost always holding hands. But we're a physical couple.
I think we're definitely above 5:1, probably around 10:1 as well!
persimmon / 1465 posts
Hmmm. Don't know what our ratio would be. We very, very rarely have anything approaching a negative interaction. It's usually all positive. I guess we must be weird.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
5:1 sounds about right, if not a little higher. I really like the comment you got, I've never thought about it that way.
eggplant / 11287 posts
100:1
I honestly can't really remember the last time we had a negative interaction... maybe a couple weeks ago?
It's strange, but this pregnancy has made me way more laid back. Nothing he does bothers me any more and I feel much more go with the flow.
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