Hellobee Boards

Great article! It's true...we're so oriented to "bounce back" after birth that we don't really get a good chance to heal.

We are such a go-go-go-go society. When a baby is born, the focus is always on the infant, and rarely on the recovering mother. I definitely felt overwhelmed to "get over" some of the consequences of a postpartum complication, and while I'm in good spirits now, it was hard feeling like my emotions were second fiddle to my daughter, who was genuinely just fine.

It's tough. I feel we need more focus and education on the postpartum period during the prenatal phase.

I remember my mother in law, who has never had children herself, commenting 3 days after I gave birth that she was surprised I was walking slowly and basically waddling. She also expressed disgust at breastmilk. A lot of people really have no clue. I am demanding so much more help and support this time around because being left alone, with a colicky baby, 5 days after giving birth, without a single family member's help or them even bringing a meal, yet coming by for hours, is just not OK! My sweet cousin that lives an hour away did bring me coolers of meals twice- I was so beyond grateful!

Post-natal care and understanding is horrible. I had to go back to school 2.5 weeks postpartum because the school would not let me defer and the professor would only let me miss the first week of classes. And I'm studying holistic health...

There is little to no help and lots of expectations to look good, have a clean house, and take care of others.

This is a bit of a sore point for me at the moment, though I agree with all the pp's. I'm nearly 3wks pp and have received next to no help. It's been very tough and I alternate between feeling frustrated and angry at my close family for their actions, to feeling fiercely proud of what I've accomplished- we eat 2 cooked meals per day, my house is reasonably presentable, laundry up to date, baby happy and my body has bounced back better than I imagined. But all this on very little sleep has been a huge challenge.

I wish there was assistance out there for new families who don't have the support of others around them.

I can never get the page to stay so I can read it! Weird! True though! Even my own family. They expected us to just up and go and do everything normal with the baby as soon as we left the hospital. My dad actually told me my aunt needed help and stuff for a month after her minor outpatient surgery vs. me who just had a baby and should bring her out to lunch the same day we got home. Because I was young.

I keep reading stories on here of people coming over and expecting you to wait on them and it seems so crazy to me! I guess I don't know yet since I haven't yet given birth... but I just cannot imagine anyone we know coming over and expecting us to wait on them with a newborn. My mom has offered to come down and stay with us and spend as much time as I need with her after the baby is born, particularly after my husband has gone back to work. And she's very much the "clean your house/make you dinner" type. I imagine she will keep us well stocked on food. My mother in law also wants to fly in at some point and she's also of the helpful type so I imagine her stay will be more helpful than not. My father-in-law is not so helpful but I think we just won't let him come the first month.