Hellobee Boards

If my husband needs a distraction while writing or cleaning he goes to a sports or news site instead of a wedding or baby site. I also don't think he's ever written a post on a forum. I look up obsessively everything about everything, he doesn't have that same urge.

Well, I think its partly because women are the only ones who can get pregnant (save for the “pregnant man”!). I originally came here because this is my first pregnancy and I found myself googling “is X normal in first trimester?” basically every day. So, I thought it would be helpful to find a forum with other pregnant women/moms.

Its also unfortunately not really as acceptable for men to be SAHD as it is for women to be SAHM. On weddingbee/the knot/wedding forums, you see a lot of women who plan to stop working after they get married, assume their partners will provide financially, and/or plan to stop working once they have babies, either due to how they were raised, because that’s been the assumption they’ve always made or because they just want to. I don’t think its as socially acceptable for a man to say he expects his female partner to financially provide because he’s always wanted to be a dad and keep a home. So, in turn, you find less men who are SAHD, and the ones who are might seek out like minded other dads, just as most women are here seeking out other women in similar situations.

At first thought, I think it's just the simple fact that women like talking more than men. Instead of talking, we type our thoughts on these boards. I think men, generally, don't share as much as women and that coupled with pregnancy being a 'female' ability... ?

My hubby thought it was a site just for women. I mentioned something that Mr. Bee said the other day and he was surprised that there was a man on here.

Good question and I think it warrants some investigation. I'll have to ask my husband later on, he's in the other room working on his computer and his stuff (mobile phones and photography).

I know that my husband is pretty private, much more so than I am. I don't mind sharing my stories, my worries, my fears, and any advice I might have. But I think my husband wouldn't feel comfortable sharing like I do. A lot of stuff he views as "personal" and I just don't think it would even occur to him to go on-line to post about a potential issue in order to get advice. It's the whole "men don't like asking for directions" thing, except with a much more personal thing. That's my take anyway.

My husband would much rather spend what free time he has playing xbox or just watching tv. He works really really hard all week so when he has time off he likes to veg out. Besides, he isn't one to talk about parenting, don't get me wrong, he LOVES babies and being a parent but it isn't something he really thinks or talks about you know what I mean?

I know my husband would prefer researching stuff himself. He doesn't WANT anecdotes, he wants FACTS. Additionally, he can ask me when he has stupid/insignificant baby-related questions. I can't ask his opinion because he doesn't even understand that 8 months is the average time for TTC, and he just thinks I'm a worrywart for looking at baby/kid stuff as much as I do (he appreciates it, but he thinks it's silly for me to do so soon. When I have an infant, I won't have TIME to do this!)

My dad is in the "experimentation" category - he just tries stuff to see if it works. My brother's in the "I know well enough how to take care of my child!" category. I think this site falls into the "asking for directions" category. While I'll call my mom to ask her how long/what temp to cook my lasagna, my husband will google it. If I don't know how to approach a topic with my husband, I ask friends/Weddingbee. If my husband is in a similar predicament, he just... never brings it up. If I want to know how to improve my chances on TTC, I research and ask. My husband hopes for the best. If I want to know the best type of diapers, I ask other women. My husband just goes to the store and picks up the first thing he sees.

Also, this stuff INTERESTS me. My husband is more interested in doing the dishes than he is in learning about early childhood development - and I don't think I've seen him do dishes on his own.

I'm not saying it happens all the time. it just seems like they never stick around. I've seen men ripped apart for having an opinion on birth plans, circumcisions (where the wife wanted to do it and the man didn't or vice versa, the ladies always seem to take the wife's side)
I remember a man starting a journal on opendiary.com (where I've been a member since 1999) and saying how depressed he was because his wife decided she was going to have an abortion even though he wanted the baby. Almost every single woman told him to get over it (in a nice way of course) because it wasn't his choice to make. He never came back after that.
BUT there are men who stick around. SingleDad(with some random number) on OD still writes about his life with his son after his wife walked out on the both of them. He gets tons of support. He's not too bad on the eyes either. ^_^ Though on the same site, there was another dad that stopped posting because he wrote about how he hated being the bad guy because his wife refused to discipline their child. He blamed her for the child's behavior and a bunch of women didn't like that.
So I guess it depends on where you are on the internet.

I was just wondering if there were any other men on here! I would say its because women get pregnant and struggle (or not) with breastfeeding, so a "baby site" seems to be more inviting to women to talk about those things. I think if dads actually checked the site out, they would see there is so much more to it.

Plus, my DH isn't an internet person. He doesn't have an email, FB, anything. I am the one who does all the internet stuff. So I talk to him about things on here, but he would never come on himself because A) I don't think he would know how to create an account and B) I think he would be overwhelmed with all the boards!

My partner and his friends all hang out on athomedad.org if you want to check it out.

My husband wanted to join Hellobee cause I wouldn't let him look over my shoulder when I was posting. I don't think he did though.. ?

@tina: Hahaha! YES! I love that site! I find myself laughing my ass off while reading his posts!

I asked my husband, he looked at the most recent topics and said he had nothing to add. He also said if he needs advice, he goes for a beer with another dad-friend.

my husband loves his hunting forums - he's an avid poster when it comes to comparing photos of ducks with the other guys. and they also talk about other things as well - one of the guys had his dh born at 26 weeks, 6 days & have been posting about it since then on a duck forum nico's on & he apparently gets a lot of support from everyone on there, including my husband. I think it's probably just never crossed his mind to get on here & post about anything or read. he knows that I do it & that's good enough for him as he knows I'll share things that I find interesting. I'll have to send him an invite, though, just see what happens.