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Honestly, the only reason I'd want to do it is for the big surprise!

My DH is vehemently against team green though, so we'll be finding out the gender in advance. I may have one of those "gender reveal" parties as a happy compromise.

@babycanuck: Pretty much agree-- right down to not giving DH a choice. It was still up for discussion until the first trimester nausea really hit-- at that point, he conceded that I was really doing the hard work in all this and I could have my way. As a compromise, we aren't telling anyone our names that we choose-- I would, but he really doesn't want to share so he can have that.

@spaniellove: Your gender roles reasoning is a big part of it-- this kid has his or her entire life to fit into the assigned gender roles- or not-- why not let him or her at least start out with a blank slate, in that regards? Plus, while I don't mind super boy-ish things, I'm not that into the super pink and girly frills that everyone loves for baby girls, so I'd rather keep things neutral in the beginning. But the biggest reason is the surprise at the end-- I really want that moment after I've gone through whatever it takes to get the baby out when I finally find out for sure if it's a boy or a girl.

The only thing I feel a little sad about is that DH has said he does feel like he would feel more connected to the baby if he knew the sex. I feel plenty connected, since I feel it moving around and kicking me, but I know it's harder for him to. He says it's no big deal, but still... it's my only reason I waiver. Decorations, clothes, who cares (for me).

I wanted to be surprised, and I thought it might give me more incentive during labor! We also didn't want it to be about boy/girl, blue/pink, which it inevitably does if you learn what you are having. For us, it was about our baby, and we didn't care what sex it was. Honestly, I am soooooo glad we waited (it was a girl!) and will absolutely do it again for #2. Like Babycanuk says, there are very few surprises left in life and to me this was the best one ever.

We were team green for our third. We already had a boy and a girl so we decided since we already have everything for both genders that it would be fun not to find out. I wish we had waited for all three - labour was just different not knowing ... more exciting? I dunno. I do know that if we go for #4, we'd be team green again!

@katyh: you said that so well! this is exactly how we felt too.

Plus, I think it's such a fun topic while pregnant! Everyone will tell you all the old wives tales and make guesses, and I embraced this. Way more fun to talk about than people's opinions on the names you picked out (or their opinion on the fact that you're not telling the names!).

I was almost envious of DH that he got to make the big, exciting "It's a ....." announcement!

From the very beginning of our relationship, DH has firmly stated he wants to be surprised. This has been like a deal breaker for him...he says there are so few surprises in life and he wants to experience that surprise/excitement. I'm not adamant either way, so, I'm ok not knowing.

Before we got pregnant I was convinced it would be so much fun to keep that big surprise for the very end, but for DH there wasn't a question that we'd find out. Then when I got pregnant I convinced him that it would be so awesome if he got to be the one to announce the gender at birth, and he eventually not only came around but became super gung-ho about it. So he was all for it, and then I decided I didn't want to be TG anymore...but he was so excited by the idea that I went along.

And then somewhere around 30 weeks we were both desperate to know, lol. But it was really really nice that we got a ton of useful stuff at our shower (as opposed to a ton of pink or blue clothes).

DH likened it to waiting until Christmas to open your gifts. You get the same gift if you open them early (or sneak a peek in your parent's closet...) but that it loses some of the Christmas morning magic.

I'm glad we didn't find out. Hearing him proudly shout out "A boy! It's a boy! Honeybee we have a son!" in the delivery room is the very clearest memory I have of E's birth.

(ETA: That said, if we have a second we might very well find out during the anatomy scan, lol. Just to have both experiences.)

I'm team green for the surprise and for hopefully the help in labor, I'd like to go natural, so I hope this will help.

@FutureMrsMcK: I agree with the Christmas present analogy.

I think also, if you know what you are getting (for christmas or for a baby) you start pre-planning/imaging what it will be like and how you will play with it. Its different then if you get the gift as a surprise.

My reasons:

-The surprise !!
-it's so much fun guessing with DH (and everyone else!) if its a boy or girl
-gender neutral things to reuse for future babies
-It's a bit different (most ppl in my town find out)
-Baby showe gifts seem to be more useful (gear) than a bunch of pink/blue clothing that the baby might never wear
-having the moment of my husband telling me whether we have a son or daughter
-save $$$ - if I knew it was a boy or girl, I'd aleady be going crazy buying things (clothes, toys) that are gender specific and I might not really need

We were TG bc that's what DH wanted. He had so little control over the whole pregnancy it felt right to at least give him that. I wanted to find out, but I wanted a boy and if I had found out it was a girl I would have been needlessly sad and stressed during the pregnancy, so it worked out for the best. And we didn't get a bunch of ugly pink or blue stuff at the shower, so that was nice.

@char54: I agree with the name thing-- we aren't sharing the names (once we eventually decide) but people seem to accept that we haven't decided more since we don't know the sex.

I gave it serious consideration but decided to find out. I sort of wish I hadn't but I definitely want to be team green next time around! Reason why is because I don't want to focus on gender during preg and I want to keep myself from buying lots of stuff.. And because I wanna be surprised, something to look forward to in labor!!

I really wanted to be Team Green because I wanted to experience the special moment of finding out at delivery. I started wavering and DH told me he really didn't want to wait so we found out at 16 weeks.

I would love to be Team Green if we ever have a 3rd child!

@Grace: @runsyellowlites: My stepmother took it personally...like we were not finding out just to spite her! We didn't share any name choices either, in part because we were undecided for a long time. We just told whoever was asking that we were going to name them that. Example, when my stepmom asked I'd say "Well we were thinking Jon (my dad) if it's a boy, Connie (stepmom) for a girl" but using the name of whoever was asking.

@FutureMrsMcK: Oh, that's awesome. Heehee - I might have to borrow that one.