Hellobee Boards

Being CFBC is about the least selfish thing a person can do. They should be supported by society as much as parents are. Has anyone read Freedom by Jonathon Franzen? That really crystallized my thoughts on over-population.
I actually feel slightly guilty for contributing to an already over-populated world but my selfish desire to have a family bigger than just DH and I coupled with my perception of myself that I actually think I am a pretty good parent led me to where I am with one child and hoping for another.

1- Like previous posters, I just saw myself as a mom. I have always loved kids. Babysat my whole life. I'm definitely a caretaker type
2- Since I work in GI oncology, many of my patients die. I see all types of family situations as they face the end of life. It definitely is tough if a patient is childless...Harder for the surviving spouse. Seeing patients die makes you realize what is important in life. (And made me want to give our parents grandkids sooner rather than later)

@Greentea: I agree.

I think, currently, we live in a very egocentric age (not necessarily a bad thing, but the way we tend to process information is from the viewpoint of the self, that's all I'm saying.) So I had kids because "I" wanted them, which would technically make it selfish.

But I think it's largely selfless, if you operate from the viewpoint that we want our society to progress. And I'm not saying that my kids are going to cure cancer or anything. But we do need people to support aging generations, lest we become top heavy. It's true that there is overpopulation in some parts of the world (a real and serious problem), but the fertility rate in many developed countries is falling below replacement rate. And that's not some vague, far off idea - in about 15-20 years, our kids will be taxpayers and a very real part of the economic and social framework of our lives. Basically what I'm saying is, unless you are part of the human extinction movement, someone needs to keep having kids!

And I didn't have kids just for myself. I gave my sisters nephews, my parents grandchildren, and most importantly my kids their life. Granted, I wouldnt keep extrapolating that to say I should have all the babies, but I don't think you can overlook that.

I will say it's a very irrational act. Since we don't live on a farm in the fifteenth century, my direct financial involvement will not exceed my payoffs. And emotionally, let's be honest, there is a lot of good, and a lot of bad, and the good doesnt necessarily cancel out the bad - you just experience them both. Although the way I felt the moment after my sons were born was a high unlike anything I will ever experience again.

@jedeve: isn't there another solution to everyone in the developed nations producing 2-3 kids?

I will be honest, I am the least thing from maternal on this planet, but I am often the "office mom," knowing everyone's birthdays, generally the glue that holds groups of people together.

I had made peace with myself that I might never have children. I didn't meet my husband until I was 30 and at that time, I was in a long relationship that was to end 2 years later. So, I kind of realized okay, my life is not some horrible, terrible punishment if I don't get married, if I don't have kids and I was on the road to accepting it. It's part of the reason why I am okay with being one and done and if we didn't conceive, I wouldn't have pursued treatement.