Kind of a spin-off of another thread 
What's the gap between your kids and why did you choose that gap?
I'm sure there are more reasons than I could possibly list for a poll but I tried!
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You should add "because we are old!"
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I think our gap is kind of average- almost 2.5 years. I wouldn't say it's very close or far?
But our gap has multiple reasons- we waited a while to have our first so we are a little old (but not very), we didn't want them too close or too far apart... And we had a surprise and they are a few months closer than we intended.
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@raintreebee: added!
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I voted for surprise...as in, there are two babies in there - surprise! But of course we knew our chances of twins were increased with IVF. So infertility really dictated our "gap," and is certainly part of the reason we will (probably) not have a 3rd.
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I wanted to vote for two: daycare discount and get back to work sooner (although I'm not a SAHM). Originally, we planned a 4-5 year gap to avoid daycare costs. Then I started teaching preschool at his center and now our discount is banging ($75/week for two kids)! So our gap will be 3 years and then the second kiddo will age out of daycare sooner and I can go back to teaching public school (e.g. Getting retirement benefits again!)
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We didn't get to pick. We had infertility. We'd have had them closer if possible mostly because of my age.
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Preference. We wanted a larger gap. Hoping for a 3.5 year gap.
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I wanted to pick two things but couldn't. Our preference was close together and I was already in my mid 30s so we didn't want to wait around.
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I wanted some time after pregnancy and nursing for a year for myself. I wanted to be fit/healthy again. We were shooting for a 2-3 year age gap and wound up with a gap just over 2.5 years. I wanted time for DS1 to be an only. DH and I wanted to take a "just us" trip before expanding our family again.
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We're planning on a 2-2.5 year age gap. I feel like that is pretty average but that's what me and my siblings had growing up and I thought it worked well.
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We just started TTC number 2, but our gap will be due to finance/circumstances. We were surprised with LO right after I got accepted into my school program. So after I put that off, we said we wouldn't try for another until I was graduated and employed. DD is 2 and change, so hopefully TTC goes well and they will be about 3.5 yrs apart.
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25 months gap
1) I wanted to enjoy the summer after e's birthday
2) spring babies are nice here
3) financially feasible
4) I want to go back to school
5) took a long time to have E because U have mthfr and didn't want to postpone
6) I have endometriosis and could potentially need surgery before pregnancy sticks -
My school schedule plays into it a lot. I need to tale exams this year, and my brain didn't work right while pregnant. Once I am done with those, we were going to start trying again, but DH's job just got eliminated. So, I don't know.
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I voted other.
D was 99% sure he didn't want a second kid, and I was on and off the fence about it. Right before E turned 2.5 D told me he'd changed his mind and had come around to wanting another (it wasn't on a whim, there were lots of factors he had been considering that had been addressed).
It took us over a year to conceive E, but we got lucky with this one and got it on the first try...we were expecting a larger gap than we are getting (closer to 4 years), but they'll be a bit shy of 3.5 years apart.
We're pretty stoked with the age gap. Less daycare overlap, I had time to go back to work for a while, E is nearly potty-trained and I think he'll be able to help a lot with the baby. He sort of gets that his little sister is growing in my tummy, and he asks to hear her heartbeat pretty much every night
I'm really excited that he can be a bit more involved than he might have been with a smaller gap.
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We wanted kids 2.5 to 3 years apart to space out daycare and give me time to get established at a new job I took when LO was 13 mo. But now we are looking at nearly 4 years after a longer time TTC and a loss.
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The gap picked up
it was definitely a surprise since I to my bfp when lo1 was 10 months and I was still nursing a TON. It was an awesome surprise. I have loved mine so close! 17 month gap.
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We waited for certain transitions (moving etc) but wanted closer to two years. It took a little longer than expected and we are getting three years.
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Preference. I just wanted ours close together. My first two have a 22 month gap and #2 and #3 will have a 19/20 month gap depending when #3 is born.
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I had a difficult pregnancy and l&d..... So what I originally thought would be a less than 2 year age gap turned into lets talk about when she's 2
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I think there should be a category for "life got in the way" - I went with other. We were aiming for a 2 yr ish gap, because I am a SAHM and wanted to get back to work eventually. But a miscarriage and trouble conceiving afterwards made it a 3 yr gap. Not what we planned... But then again, I don't think babies can be planned - some just get luckier than others!
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2 reasons for the 18 month gap.
- We want our kids close in age ( for lots of reasons. )
- For maternity leave purposes/daycare costs.
I need 600 hours of work to get a mat leave. So, I had B, went back to work after a year off and was 15 weeks pregnant. I worked for 650 hours to get the leave and then went off on medical leave at 33 weeks.
This worked so that I only had to deal with daycare ( with her we paid family, so it was cheaper) for the 4.5 months that I was back at work.
We weren't going to have a third, but have pretty much agreed that we both want a third, so we will do the same this time. I will hopefully be between 12-15 weeks pregnant when I go back so that we only have to use the least amount of daycare possible. ( at $65 per kid per day, it's kind of insane. ) I'll work for 4.5 months and then probably go off on an early leave again. -
I chose "other". We just didn't feel ready to ttc #2 until our son was almost 2.5. Saving pto for maternity leave, my age (34), and life circumstances were also considerations. Assuming I carry this babe to term, we'll have a 3 year, 1 month gap.
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I voted other. I wanted my two to be close in age, but then life happened. We couldn't start TTC until 6-8 months after I initially wanted to and then it took 5 cycles to get pregnant.
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Similar to @Foodnerd81: in that we had a surprise so they wil be a few months closer together than we anticipated (2y 10m) but we did our plan for financial reasons (job prospects) and because I just wasn't interested in being pregnant again yet! It doesn't feel like they'll be far apart although lots of my closet friends have kiddos between 11 months (!!) and 2.5 years apart at this point.
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I wanted a closer gap than we have but a miscarriage but paid to that. As it is, my two are just over 2.5 years apart.
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Age based preference. We had our first at 31 and wanted a big family. For #3 she's coming sooner than planned.
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I am 38, my husband is pushing 40, and we have a 17mo. Theoretically, I want a second child, and I feel some pressure due to our ages. But I am so worn out from the first one. I have been sleeping badly lately, work is stressful, my back hurts, I don't have enough time to work out, and I struggle to eat well. It feels like time is a zero sum game that I am losing, and I don't see how to get back on top of that issue. So I don't know when/if we will try for a second.
This issue really bothers me. I feel disappointed by my situation.
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A few factors - I wanted them close together , I needed a certain # of hours back at work before I could get my second mat leave, and as a teacher it works out really well to have the baby sometime within a June-October range so that I can take a full school year off. So 2 fall babies, 2 years apart ended up working great for us
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Preference. We always wanted two under two years apart, so we started trying when #1 was around 9 months. They are 21 months apart and so far, it's perfect.
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Originally 'planned' for 2 year gap but just realising that sometimes life has its own ideas of when it will happen! Hoping it will still be between 2.5-3 years. I had a bigger gap (5 years) with my brother growing up & we are close now, but definitely lived very separate lives as young teens/adults. Don't really even know if this will be different with a smaller gap, but I like the idea!
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We fall into the surprise category. Our 2 are 18.5 months apart.
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I wanted to feel really ready, that didn't happen until DD was 2! I think other life factors affect this decision most- like what is going on in your life at the time, preferences, lifestyle, support systems, mental and physical health (as well as age). Daycare costs and working status don't come into play (as much) if you have a large support system with family available for care, for example, plus your stress would be reduced if you had additional help...
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We will be trying again when LO is 4-6 months old I think. Not sure yet as LO is only 2 months old right now, but we want our kids all close in age!!
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We were aiming for 2 years and it ended up being 2.5 years. We will aim for 2 year age gap again.. I have 0 desire for 2 under 2 since I just started working again and loving it!!!
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Lots of reasons! In theory, I kind of always wanted a 2 to 3 year gap but when LO was around 11 months, the baby fever hit hard so we decided to NTNP and see what happens. We were extremely surprised when it happened right away. But i SAHM and would like to go back to school when the girls start school and that factors in a lot to whether or not we have a 3rd. We have a 19 month gap and I like it a lot more than I expected.
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I also wanted to vote for two. We knew if we had 2 I'd be pregnant before LO1 was 15-16 months so we wanted them close together and after 18 months of infertility with LO1 we weren't willing to plan this one and were a-ok with just 1 child so LO2 was a surprise (well as much of a surprise as it can be when you're NTNP
) I'm 29 and we have 3 month and 23 month children
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Preference and readiness. I couldn't handle 2 Kids close in age and preferred a 2.5-3 year gap. I wanted LO1 to get lots of mommy time before adding a new baby, for her to be more independent, and for us to be ready as a couple. We are going to have an almost 3 year gap and I am thrilled with that.
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I voted "other" because we didn't really get to choose! In an ideal situation I would have preferred them closer in age, but illnesses, work travel, age, and a loss changed those plans. I'm almost 7 wks now and if this one sticks they'll be almost 3.5 years apart, which sounds wonderful.
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I want a larger gap (4 years or so). I'm so content with the way life is right now that I don't want to change I just yet. But, if we decide to have a 3rd one, 2 and 3 would be closer (2-3 years apart) due to my age by then.
) I'm 29 and we have 3 month and 23 month children
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