My midwife was telling me a story about another one of her patients who was having trouble getting pregnant. She asked her why she wanted to have a child and she said she thought her answer was interesting. Before I tell you what she said, what was your motivation for getting pregnant and having a child?
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Because I love my husband, and I've always wanted to be a mom, just like he's always wanted to be a dad. Plus, we're in our thirties, and don't want to be 35 and older when we have our first.
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That's a hard question! All of a sudden I just wanted one. I didn't used to want kids. I think when I met my hubby it just felt right. My womanly urges just started going and I started craving a baby!
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I love the bond I've always had with my mother, and the connection between a parent and child. I've always wanted that, even more now that I'm getting married. I'm really curious about what the patient said!
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i want to experience unconditional love! and to experience just a fraction of what god feels for us. it's also the "next" step after marriage. and i want to see a mini-me or mini-hubby.
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I've always loved babies and loved seeing the bond between baby and parent. I always knew I would want to be a mom someday
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my husband and I both have always wanted to be parents for our own reasons. he was raised in a religion where he was not allowed holidays, birthdays or other celebrations, as well as not being able to participate in normal "kid" things (sports, going over friends' homes, sleepovers). He wants to enjoy all that for the first time with our children.
I have always wanted to be a mom..that's all I would play growing up, read about, ask about, etc. We are young, 23-24, but have always "just known". My parents had myself at 18-20, so I know first hand that "young" is no obstacle
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This is good question. I used to not want any children at all, I didn't like them. My first child was an accident but from the moment I knew I was pregnant I was in love. I knew things wouldn't be easy because of my situation but I knew I would do anything to keep my baby and raise her the best I could and I did! She changed my life in so many ways and I love her so much. Then, even though I knew we had to wait, not long after she was born I wanted another baby for so many reasons. First, there was the most obvious babies are frigging cute and amazing reason. But then I started thinking about it and I was getting depressed. I didn't get to do things "right" the first time, as in I didn't know until I was about 5 months pregnant and I didn't get to enjoy the process at all. I hated myself the entire time and felt like a huge failure. I didnt get to decorate a nursery or any of that fun stuff. I was incredibly jealous of everyone that had all of these things. That was one of the biggest reasons for me wanting another child for a few years. Then I kinda forgot about it for a while because of all of the other things going on but after the wedding we had a "pregnancy scare" but when I found out I wasn't pregnant I was even more sad and that is when I decided thatour family was incomplete and I was ready for another baby.
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We had many reasons but one was to bring someone into this world who can make a difference and be a positive influence in a country that we feel is going to pot.
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@sorrycharlie: My husband was raised as a Jehovah Witness, was yours?
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Always wanted kids. It's not much fun to make clothes, bake cookies, or put up decorations for myself. And I can't teach myself how to do calligraphy, make knives, clean fish, bake bread, sew clothes, make patterns, spin wool, quilt, embroider, read, do math, roof houses, ID all native plants and animals, prepare wild edibles, etc., because my parents already taught me. I want to watch my daughter learn ballet and twirl her when she dances. I want to brush my daughter's hair, clean my son's scraped knees, and blow raspberries on their tummies. The stuff my parents did with me was so much fun, I want to do it all over again with kids of my own. Only with more veggies/whole grains, and better sex ed.
There are lesser reasons (like "my boobs aren't for decoration" and "I wanna know what pregnancy and childbirth are like" and "Babies are warm and snuggly and made of cute"), but mostly raising kids into skilled, courteous, intelligent, highly curious adults.
My husband, on the other hand... "I want our kids to start the Mars colony. That's my retirement plan." (He's kidding when he says that. Or at least I hope he is. Either way, he's great with and greatly enjoys kids.)
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I never really wanted kids, but it was always part of the plan. That's just what you do where I was raised. Cameron was a surprise, and I knew the hubs would want him so now he's due in February.
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As many others have said, the bond, the relationship between a child and parent. Whether they are a creation from us or taken in by us, the joy and love of a family is something I dont think can be put into words. The simple beauty of a family and growing together, sharing together and passing on life lessons to. Being able to give to your fullest and provide to your best. Knowing one day you will leave this earth leaving behind your creation of a good person.
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@junebugmama: yes!! is he still practicing? my dh never was (well as much as you can put your foot down as a child) but I'm worried about a ton of things as his family still is heavy duty into it
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I have wanted kids since I entered my early 20's. I work in NICU, and spending time with all those babies just really fuels the urge to have my own baby, and raise my own kids. DH has always known he wants to raise kids, and totally doesn't understand the idea of not having kids. He wants to be a boy scout leader, and take our kids skiing, and play with their toys (LOL)!
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@sorrycharlie: No my husband is not. He was never baptized, but a lot of his family members are still practicing. They bring his 4 year old son literature all of the time. They attempt to preach to us as well and when we moved in together before marriage I thought their heads were going to blow off. I do tend to distance myself from his family members that do practice as I have a tendency to say exactly how I feel and it isn't always well received.
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SHE SAID: The patient told her that as she has gotten older it has become more difficult to make friends. She feels as though having a child will open her up to other groups of woman that she currently feels isolated by and hopefully she can gain some connections.
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I've always known that I'm supposed to be a mother. That's really all I've ever wanted to be. I also love my husband so much that I'm excited to create a life and raise a child with him.
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@Running Elley: that's my exact same answer. I can never remember a time I did not think about how badly I wanted to be a mom.
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It was the "normal" thing to do. I got married young and got pregnant right away. I was only 20 when I had my first child. I had always just "known" I was to be a mommy. 5 years later I had my second child, although an accident she was and is an amazingly perfect accident!
Now that DH and I are married we are hoping to be given the all clear from our doctor to start TTC early next year and complete our family! -
I've known that I've always wanted kids, just in an abstract way. When I met my husband, I knew I wanted kids in a more concrete way like he's the one that I want children with. It really wasn't until the second year of our marriage that I knew I was completely ready for the challenge of kids and wanting them. Now that we've had some time to ourselves, it feels like there's something missing in our lives like a little one. I'm completely happy in our marriage, just ready for that next step of kids within our marriage.
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I have always wanted to be a mom. I knew I didn't want to be a young mom and wanted to enjoy my relationship and career first, so we waited a little while to try for children. My husband and I have a great fun life together, a lot of love to give, and a lot to offer our future children. I am so excited to meet the little one that we created together and to start this new journey : )
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I want to have children for a variety of reasons. First, I see it as an extension of the love I share with my husband. I understand you don't have to be in love to have sex and get pregnant but for us we are madly in love and a child resulting from that will show that love and be a part of the special connection we share. It is something (aside from marriage) that will physically bind us together forever. A child will be part me and part him and there is nothing else on earth that can physically combine two people together like a child.
I also feel like I am meant to be a mother. You know that feeling when you know you're supposed to be a cop, or solider, or teacher, or pastor, or whatever..that is how I feel about being a mother. I feel like it is a part of who I am. It has shaped decisions I have made from a very young age.
Finally, I want to be able to see the joy in my parents and in-laws lives as they experience their grandchildren. It's not that I feel like it's my duty but it is something I want to give to them. They mean so much to me and there is nothing I could give them that could provide that kind of joy aside from a grandchild. Same is true for my husband. I want to see the joy in his eyes when he is a father.
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I've always wanted to be a mom ever since I was a little girl. There's something that has always drawn me to babies and wanting one. I played with baby dolls when I was growing up, I babysat a lot when I was a teenager and even now when a friend needs a sitter for a night out, I volunteer. I married my husband because I just know that he's going to be an amazing dad!
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@junebugmama: It seems like that is a really bad reason to become a Mom, it should be about the child, not about making you friends!
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@MsMini: agreed it was a nutty reason for sure. My midwife just looked at me over her glasses and shook her head.
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Um yeah....totally was not expecting that being the reason. WOW! Thats sad!
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I have always known I wanted to be a mom someday, although I didn't feel that "pull" to have a baby until about 2 years ago. At that point, I wanted to experience that amazing feeling of getting to create a person that is part of both my hubby and me, to grow our family, and to get to experience the love a mother has for her child. I also can't wait to see how my husband is with our little girl--I know he's going to be a great dad!
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It is hard to put into words why I want to have children. I to started envisioning my future family when I was 12 years old. When I met my husband I just knew that he would be an amazing father. I feel like having his children will be one of the greatest gifts I can give him. I want to experience the unconditional love that I hear mothers talking about. I want to have children to teach them how beautiful God's love for us is. I could probably go on.
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For so long, I didn't want kids. They were loud, scary, and seemed like too much work. But having been married for awhile now, it seems like a natural progression. I love my husband and want to take my marriage to the next step, I want to continue both our family lines, I want to experience that amazing bond that parents have with their children,... there are just so many reasons now. The "amazingness" has outweighed the scariness.
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I'm going to be totally honest and say that I didn't. When I got pregnant, I was 23, loving life, newly married, happy to have some freedom and less than a month away from moving overseas to live in Europe. I was looking forward to traveling and drinking some good British beer and enjoying it just being the 2 of us for a while.
I feel awful even saying that when I consider how many women I know who want to be moms and have not been able to or have had a lot of trouble having children... but that's how I feel. It took a good 2 months or so for me to even feel excited about being pregnant. At my first ultrasound, I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me because I had zero emotional reaction to it. For me, seeing that little baby inside was more of a "Huh, well that's kind of cool." moment rather than an emotional thing.
I'm 23 weeks now and I have started to bond with our daughter. I have gotten over the shock of the unplanned pregnancy and have allowed myself to get emotionally involved. Don't get me wrong. At this point, I am happy and I am excited and I can't wait to meet the little person who has been kicking my bladder but I will not lie and say that this was something I wanted at this stage in my life.
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I've wanted to be a mom for just about as long as I can remember. I've been a nanny to the same family for 7+ years and it's been amazing. (Started with one child and now there are three of them!) But after taking care of someone else's kids for so long, I really long to be a sahm, grow my family, and love on my own children.
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For me, there was never an 'if I have children' thought, it was always 'when I have children'. It's something I've always wanted and now thinking about sharing my genes with DH makes me giddy!
I actually had this conversation once with someone who answered that she wanted children so that she wouldn't be alone when she was old and that they take care of her. It struck me as really strange.
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@zippylef: This is me in a nut shell. I'm about 6 weeks ahead of you and although he's got a name, and his room is progressing, I'm still not attached. I'm trying though... I'm just more of an animal person.
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