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I made DH swear to me that he would keep the names we are considering a secret and I dont plan on telling a soul. My reasoning is it's hard enough for us to pick out names both of us really like so I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to talk us out of something or make a comment that sours the name for us. I also don't want anyone to steal our ideas!
I also want us to be able to change our minds like a lot of PP's. My relatives LOVE to give monogrammed presents so I would anticipate receiving a good amount of them at my shower. It's a good thing my initials didn't change with marriage, lol!
And yes I think people can be very opinionated/catty when it comes to what other people are going to name their babies. Especially the grandparents who feel like they can say whatever they want since they are our elders.
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We've told everybody and haven't had any negative feedback at all. But I know people who have. I guess we were just lucky or it's a pretty benign name (though I know people who have heard "that is the stupidest name ever" for perfectly normal and lovely names so I don't get it). Although people ALWAYS ask me if he's named after a famous baseball player (he shares a name with one). So I have to go through the whole story: no, but that's how we got the idea, blah blah blah. So sometimes I just tell people we're not sharing because I want to avoid a conversation
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We kept our name secret b/c our parents (namely our mothers) would have had strong opinions about it. My mom flat out told me she thought it was way too old fashioned once he was here and asked me what made us choose that name. Totally inappropriate to say or ask, but we expected it. Hence the main reason why we kept it a secret.
We also found out we were having a boy, so we wanted something to be a little bit of a surprise. We wanted the option to be able to change our mind if we didn't think he looked like the name we chose as well.
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I really don't get it either. But then, I don't have anyone in my life who would say rude things, so that helps. And I picked a classical and unique but not super far out name, so there isn't a lot to judge about it. It's up there with keeping the gender secret, I just don't get it.
I don't really get keeping any part of it secret. The only reason I'll announce later with a future baby (I announced at 8 weeks) is that I know people judge if you announce and then miscarry. I told my mother about 10 minutes after I got a positive test, and the rest of my family and close girlfriends that night. If I'd miscarried, I'd have wanted them to know.
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The only people IRL I know that kept the names a secret usually didn't want any unsolicited feedback on their non-traditional names. i.e. Most recently, the name was "Wolf."
I wanted to keep it open as a possibility because maybe I'd want to "meet her" first before finalizing the name, but DH went and email blasted and told everyone our name choice at 12 weeks.
It's a pretty common & traditional name though, so we haven't had any kind of negative or unsolicited comments from anyone. Just our parents seem to have some issues pronouncing it. I think it's pretty cute and nice though that now everyone already refers to the baby by her name and it's like they all know and love her already! -
I floated one trial balloon with one friend and immediately got what I perceived as negative unsolicited feedback. We kept it to ourselves after that!
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@sarac: I dont think people judge you if you miscarry. its can just be hard to deal with when everyone is excitedly asking you about the pregnancy and you have to respond with "i had a miscarriage"
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@Mrsbells: I can see that. I certainly wouldn't put it on facebook super early.
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We didn't decide on a name until the morning of labor, but I didn't keep a secret the names that were in contention.
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@sarac: I did miscarry at a later time (20wks), so I will not 'announce' it like I did before. I'll tell family and probably HB so I can talk about and get support if (god forbid) something happened, but no formal announcement until actual baby. Most likely. I don't think people judge you if you tell early, it's just that so,e people are more cautious. We had people who hadn't heard and so I had to keep telling people. Then, I had people who hadn't heard, clearly I didn't look pregnant, and I wa spast my due date........so, they asked how life with a baby was. Imagine the crickets there and th explanation that happened after that. I think that's why some people wait.
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@septemberlove: I did have some friends that were pregnant at the same time as other friends. They both were having girls and one couple had everything personalized and monogrammed with the name Kimberly. Well, the other couple said that they weren't going to use that name and they weren't going to tell what their name was. Fast forward to the birth of the second couple's baby they actually went into labor before the first Couple ANZ in end up having a girl and they decided to name her Kimberly. The couple that had everything monogramed and personalized stopped being friends with them and wouldn't talk to them at all.
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@Jennimac: Re: the Kimberly name thing -- wow, what a crappy thing to do! Regardless of the fact that the other couple had stuff monogrammed. I don't think I could be friends, either, with someone who obviously, intentionally, and passive-aggressively chose the same name as me.
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@Jennimac: wow! That is a crappy thing to do.
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@allison: and @Smurfette: I know!!!! All of us pretty much stopped being friends with the 'mean' couple.
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