Chalk this up to a combo of being a general worrier and a good case of mommy guilt but I often worry about being able to provide my children with equal experiences. For example, we just made it to six months with LO totally on breastmilk and I was (and am) so so proud of reaching that goal. But I'm already worried that I will feel really guilty if for some reason I'm not able to do the same for our future LO(s). Anyone else worry about these things?
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Yes a lot. i know i wont be able to give my full attention to two kiids and i worry about how that will affect them. also breastfeeding didnt work out for my first lo and if it works out for my second lo i will feel bad. so now im gona try to bf both
my first lo deserves the best too!
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@stargal: Your posts are what inspired me to start this one ; )
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Sometimes, like when I cuddle him after a night feed for a little extra long. I just think I'll be too exhausted with two and won't give the same one-on-one attention.
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Sometimes, especially since LO #2 will be here in just under 2 months. I struggled with BFing DS and stopped pumping after 2 weeks for my own sanity. I said though if BFing works this time I'm going to pump some and give some to DS in a cup
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Not really....I KNOW I will love them all the same and I know I will show them and they will feel it. Who cares if one one them got to go the park more than the other? In the long run, the kids will all feel bonded, loved and taken care of. I doubt they'll notice.
I am waiting until we have all 4 kids to do things like Disneyland or anything though, so no one misses it. If all goes to plan, we will have 4 under 10yr so it'll work out. -
@TurtleDoves: i think we are twins, i want four too!
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@stargal: so does running elley...and we all have the same BFing aspirations with #2. TWIIIINSIIESSS
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Yes. My DH grew up in a house where MIL *heavily* favored one child over the other. Although she will deny it to her grave. I never want our child to feel what he felt growing up even in the tiniest bit.
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@sarbear: IF you want to do that and it works I will be your personal cheerleader! I have a pump you can use!
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Is it bad that I won't feel guilty about it. For instance, if we have another girl, she'd get some awesome hand me downs. If we have a boy, he'd play with all her toys. I honestl think I'd be too busy keeping up, I wouldn't get the chance to feel any guilt. O_O
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Kind of. DD will get to travel more than #2, #3 and #4, because the more plane tickets we have to buy, the less traveling we'll do.
@stargal: @TurtleDoves: Yay for wanting 4 kids! People think I'm crazyyy
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@swurlygurl: @TurtleDoves: @stargal: haha in a perfect world I want four. But we can never afford that.
If #2 is a boy we're stopping at 2.
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@mewtill: I worry about this too (even though we are very likely only having 1 baby!). BabyGloss really is my little buddy (she is my heart!) and I can't imagine having the same bond with another child.
@MamaMoose: I am seriously worried about trying to continue to work with a second . . . my MIL has been watching BabyGloss since I went back to work, and I don't know that that would be an option again. So, *IF* we had a second, s/he would be in daycare sooner. And that both terrifies me and makes me sad (that s/he wouldn't have had an experience similar to Baby Gloss).
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My parents always told us that they don't treat us the same. They will do what they can, but sometimes it's not always possible and they can't always afford to treat us all equally.
For example, my sister got to go on a trip to Israel when she was 16 and I really really wanted to go when I turned 16 too. My dad said I could only go if I got a scholarship. My sister didn't get one but she still go to go, but a few years later they didn't have the same money that they did before. Luckily I was the only one who applied for the scholarship
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We're one and done, but it's not because of giving our son more or less than another sibling. Each child is different and requires different things.
Case in point, my parents. They have 3 children, one with severe special needs. He got more of my parents time than both my brother and I.
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yes. because i've learned so much more about bfing (thanks to hellobee!) i think i will be much more prepared and will be able to with #2. i will feel sooo guilty about not bfing #1. (not that don't already)
also, i'm worried that #2 won't feel as special. there is no doubt that #1 is our world. will we feel the same way about our second baby??
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I think about it sometimes but can't say I'm really that worried about it. I'm one of 5 kids so yes, we had different opportunities and levels of attention, but I don't think any of us were slighted because of it. My parents were really careful not to set precedents with the older ones that they couldn't follow through for all of us though, so in that way, it worked out better for the younger ones (like they didn't know if they could put all of us in dance lessons, so my older sister didn't have them when she was young, but by the time my youngest sister wanted them, they knew they could afford them).
But I'm the middle child so of course I think about how everyone is so, so, so excited for the first one and then after that it's like, ok, and now another one...
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Yes, I worry about this and LO isn't even here yet. I'm going to be a working mom (in some capacity) while LO #1 is small but I hope to be able to be a SAHM sometime in the future. I worry that I will have a stronger bond with future LOs if that happens because I will spend more time with them, but I just look at all the kids who adore their working moms and I know it's not true.
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DD is still breastfed at 26 months old! (just once a day).
I swear this girl's going to want to nurse til she's 4.
I feel bad that DS won't get it as long as his sister, but I plan on going for 2 years with him too.. unless he decides he wants to wean earlier. -
No, not usually. I try to just make sure I'm meeting the kids' needs, but that doesn't always mean they get everything equally.
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@daniellemybelle: As you know I'm a WOHM and my LO is crazy obsessed with me. Don't worry... your LO will be too : )
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@regberadaisy: thanks
we'll find out soon enough if things work this time.
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I don't think I will. Not everyone has the same needs and I will do what is best for each individual child. I also know I am only human and can't do everything.
my first lo deserves the best too!
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