Let's say...
1) You could take your maternity leave in incriments
2) A big meeting was held about a month after your due date
3) Big meeting is across the country (flight takes half a day)
*This is a ways off, but something I want to discuss when I announce to work especially b/c it may involve incrimental leave.
82 votes
squash / 13208 posts
I would skip!
eta: If you feel like you need access to the information being presented can you web-ex in?
nectarine / 2797 posts
I wouldn't want to fly with an unimmunized infant, and at only a few weeks after birth, was in no mood to deal with work and round the clock feeding.
grapefruit / 4278 posts
I would skip. I was still only beginning to get used to the whole motherhood thing at a month. I still didn't have great tricks for soothing my baby, was still establishing my milk supply and was SUPER sleep deprived.
grapefruit / 4321 posts
For the sake of your supply it's too early to be away from baby for an extended period of time, and I wouldn't fly with an unvaccinated 4 week old. So I would skip it.
pear / 1770 posts
Do you *want* to go to this meeting? If it's something you've been looking forward to, I would say go yourself and leave baby at home (unless you have a helper to fly with you). If it's something you just feel like you *should* do, I'd skip it entirely.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I wouldn't have been able to attend, I had excruciating lower back pain which meant I couldn't sit for long periods of time. I hadn't counted on that at all, plus I was still bleeding heavily.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Skip! Physically, I felt fine but you have no idea how YOU would feel. As a FTM there is absolutely no way I was ready emotionally to leave my baby at a month PP. and there's no telling your baby will be on time so it may very well 2 weeks pp. at 2 weeks definitely not going on a cross country flight. Nope nope.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I'm assuming it's an important mtg that you don't want to miss?
How long is the trip?
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@Corduroy: @ms.line: I'm a remote employee and this meeting is one of the few opportunities to see coworkers in person all year, most years it's the only chance. I like going.
@mamabolt: Exposing my LO to germs is definitely a concern.
You all convinced me the trip is a bad idea. I'm still going to discuss incrimental mat leave, so my husband can take advantage of his pat leave.
Thanks!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@snowjewelz: It's a full work week due to travel. With day time and evening events scheduled for three days.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yeah, that's tough with a 1 month old! It will be hard for you to pump, and I don't know what stash you'll have with only 4 weeks to pump. I def would've voted not to take the baby if you go, but then there are so many logistically challenges too if you leave the baby!
pear / 1961 posts
All other concerns aside, I wouldn't have been emotionally ready to do that at one month after my first LO. LO2 was much easier on me mentally, but then you'd have the rest of the concerns/logistics.
grapefruit / 4545 posts
I think it depends on what you want to do and what you feel is best for you/your career.
If this is an important work trip and you feel it is important for you to go then I would go and not think twice about it. You could bring DH or other help - pump and take care of the baby with help. You could also just build a stash, pump on the trip and pick up where you left off when you return.
If it is not that important for you personally - then I would skip.
I dont think you should feel obligated to skip the trip simply bc it is during your maternity leave!
persimmon / 1427 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I would skip it. No one would expect you to attend a work event one month out. I would not have been emotionally ready that soon after birth. OBs usually don't clear patients to return to work until 6 weeks post partum.
If your maternity leave is covered under Short Term Disability, you will likely forefit the rest of your Short Term Disability by going back to work.
If you are still entertaining the idea, don't commit to anything until after baby is here, so you have the option of changing your mind if you want to.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
@Bluebonnet: I reviewed our mat leave policy and while it is covered under STD, my company offers incrimental leave in minimum 2 week blocks with manager approval. One thing that wasn't clear was how long the first stretch of mat leave had to be.
I haven't discussed post partum care with my doctor yet, but if doctor's order is to really sit out for 6 weeks that makes me sad for the mom's that must return to work a week or two after birth to support their family.
pineapple / 12566 posts
@KayKay: totally agree about the emotional aspect. With my first LO, I could barely stand to be away from him for an hour let alone days at a time. I would get SO anxious and only think about getting back as quickly as possible. It was easier with the second.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
No way. 6-8 weeks with just daytime meetings, MAYBE with a nanny.
But at 4 weeks and all day and all night stuff. NO WAY.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
What if you go past your due date? Then you have a two week old, no way no how. Especially since I wouldn't fly with a newborn that early.
persimmon / 1188 posts
I don't think it is a good idea to put the pressure on yourself. I know what it's like to not have many chances to see your team, but this is much more important. You just don't know how you'll feel and I think extra pressure is a bad idea.
coconut / 8483 posts
Skip trip. I could barely walk at 4 weeks PP. 5 weeks we drove to my moms (3 hours away) for Easter and it was painful.
pomegranate / 3113 posts
I can't even fathom having to sit on airplane seats or conference room chairs for hours at 4 weeks postpartum, and I had a relatively easy, uncomplicated delivery. Not to mention, at that point I was literally spraying milk everywhere all day (and night) long and soaking through both my nursing pads and shirts at the drop of a hat. Doing what you describe would have been, for me, both agonizing and totally embarrassing. Plus all the emotional and logistical things PPs have already mentioned.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
I would definitely skip. You don't know when you will actually give birth or how your recovery will go.
Here is my experience-- I had an awesome opportunity to go to an international conference (in Paris! For free!) 6 weeks after my due date. I opted not to go because of the concern about immunizations and the fact that due dates are really just estimates (my nieces have all been born late). I ended up having lo at 37 weeks, so she was about 2 months at the time of the conference, BUT around 2 months we had a scare with lo not growing quickly enough/my supply crashing and had to start supplementing, and I was so relieved I hadn't pushed myself to go. Things were just so crazy then I was so relieved that I hadn't tried to go to France then
grapefruit / 4400 posts
I'm a remote worker, too (I work about 6 hours' drive time away from my closest office) and I never get to see my coworkers. I can see why you would want to go to this conference/meeting to interact with everyone, but it's not worth it at all. My vote is no.
pomegranate / 3595 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I would encourage you to get clarification on whether your maternity leave can be broken up (maybe separate from short term disability policies). I had a sort of similar situation where there is a two day training during my leave that I was considering going to about 8 weeks into my leave. Our HR said that attending the training would count as a return to work and I would forfeit the rest of my leave. They are pretty rigid but I think that is the technical interpretation. I opted to skip the training.
persimmon / 1316 posts
I would for sure skip. I was barely able to have time to shower and get dressed at 4 weeks, still getting the hang of pumping and BFing, there would be no way I would be ready to leave the baby for a trip or feel comfortable traveling with a baby that young (like someone else said, not vaccinated on a plane isn't a good idea)
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
I'm 5 weeks postpartum now and there's no way I'd want to leave my baby for that long or take him on a plane.
With my first, I went to a professional development class 2 hours away when he was 4 weeks old. I rode with a (close friend) co-worker and pumped while she drove. I was away from my baby from 6am-8pm and that was pushing it with my comfort level.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Nope, i would not even consider it as i was a c-section mom. At 4 weeks there was no way i was ready to travel with a baby across country. You could go over, making it 2 weeks, and you could be recovering from major surgery, no way my doctor would have green lighted this.
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