Say your child is invited to a friend birthday party. Would you be annoyed if the invite stated only one parent could come to the party?
Thinking about DD1's 4th birthday and am considering the zoo. The thing is you're only allowed up to four adults free then you have to pay an additional $8/adult for admission unless they're members. Plus food & drink cost for the adults.
What do you think?
Just trying to figure out if this is financially feasible for us.
coffee bean / 25 posts
Sorry, but yes I'd be annoyed. The weekends are when we get to spend time together as a family. If you can't afford to have both parents attend I would suggest choosing a different party idea
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Yes, I think I'd probably think it's rude, though I'd probably still go and Hubs wouldn't mind the excuse to NOT go!
If I were you, I think I'd wait a year until they were all five-year-olds and could do a drop-off party (she's turning 4, not 1, right?).
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Adira: bahaha yes, 4, not 1!
@blackbird: oops 4, not 1!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Yes. For a one year old, I would not consider a venue like this.
pomelo / 5789 posts
yes totally rude!
At our parties, very often only one parent goes anyway....I would just plan for the extra expense of all of the parents.
cantaloupe / 6059 posts
I wouldn't be but I'd think it was odd and would definitely think the host was trying to cut $ corners.
pear / 1703 posts
Not at all! Why do both parents need to attend? I see it blessing, one parent gets to stay home/go shopping/meet a friend for lunch/etc. 
eggplant / 11824 posts
Yes, I would think that is totally rude, sorry. You host the party you can afford without putting weird restrictions out there or asking guests to foot the bill in other ways.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Autumnmama79: @wheres_c: haha that's why I was curious. I went to our first daycare friend party a few months ago. And most kids had only one parent with them anyway!
@coopsmama: LOL I would be! HAHA
Thanks for the input. Bummer because DD1 LOVES the zoo and animals.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@yoursilverlining: I don't think I said anything about asking guests to foot the bill?
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
@regberadaisy: yes, but most parents would probably take their kid to the zoo after the party, for more animal seeing (and potentially other children) and zoo > daycare party
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I think explicitly stating that only one parent can attend is off putting, where as in reality only one parent may have planned to attend to begin with. I can't imagine both DH and I both wanting and actually attending our LO's friend's birthday parties.
@regberadaisy: you can always take her to the zoo as part of her bday celebration weekend. A cool place doesn't have to be a costly birthday venue too.
pineapple / 12053 posts
I don't see why this is rude. I might be put off if it were a good friend, but if it's a daycare party, I don't really see an issue? If it's the one kid and one adult, I don't think you're responsible for bringing their whole family to the zoo.
eggplant / 11824 posts
@regberadaisy: no you didn't unless you were thinking about charging the second parent 
- I meant that I think it's rude to ether set up a weird restriction on guests OR to make guests somehow foot the bill (like people on WB who asked guests to bring booze to their wedding, etc.). Both rub me the wrong way in the same way.
persimmon / 1188 posts
My husband usually doesn't want to go to kid parties so I wouldn't be annoyed. I would think it was really nice that my LO was invited to a party at the zoo. It's for the kids so it would make sense to me that each kid would have one caretaker.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: haha we literally take her every year on her actual birthday per her request. That's how much she LOVES the zoo! LOL
@yoursilverlining: LOL I was thinking of ordering a pizza for the adults and asking everyone to go splitsies! 
pomegranate / 3983 posts
Most of the parties I've been to, only one parent goes anyway, but I would find it odd if it was stated on an invitation.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I wouldn't care. Unless it's for a close friend, I always wonder why 2 parents need to attend. We take turns taking our kids to parties so the other person can do something else. Sorry, we don't find kid parties super fun.
squash / 13208 posts
Not at all - other kids birthday parties are not family events - one parent takes the child
grapefruit / 4079 posts
It wouldn't annoy me because we have a zoo pass so I'd just ask if DH could come if we used our pass. I wouldn't even be annoyed if you put something on the invite like "if you have a zoo pass please let us know so more parents can attend!"
coffee bean / 26 posts
I wouldn't be annoyed at all. It is what it is - a party for the kid and their friends. A mom recently had a party for her kid at her apt, and said only 1 parent could stay because it's an NYC apt, that's not rude, it's practical!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Bee_McGee: yikes. You bring up a good point. There are only two party rooms and the large one has a max capacity of 50. Even allowing one parent per child of daycare friend, after including adults we must invite like family and close friends, I'm over 50.
pomegranate / 3845 posts
I think I would allow for all parents to come, but to give really clear RSVP instructions, to say something like let me know how many kids and how many adults, as well as if you're zoo members so that we can buy enough tickets, etc.
My husband would not want to go and I imagine that in many cases, only one parent would go, and that many families likely already have zoo passes. Unfortunately, you can't really decide to scrap the idea if you get a ton of RSVPs "yes-not a zoo member".
ETA - If you're talking about 50 people, would your group qualify for a group rate or any other discounts?
coconut / 8483 posts
I think I would be annoyed.
But if my husband and I showed up to a party and had to pay our own way in (at only $8) we would be totally fine with that.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Applesandbananas: nope, for parties it's a set rate for kids a set rate for adults. It's only cheaper if you (the party) host are a zoo member. Which we will be, my brother & SIL are getting the girls a zoo membership for Christmas.
ETA: but if we're getting capped at 50, then it might be OK.
pear / 1998 posts
I think I'm out of the loop - aren't just the kids invited to most birthday parties? Like a parent brings them and has the option to just drop them off? And sometimes parents stay, but it is not like they are part of the party?
I guess maybe 4 is kind of young and it would be hard to manage a handful of kids on your own at the zoo. I would also kind of be put off my restrictions on the invitation, but I wouldn't think of the party as an excuse to have a fun day at the zoo with my family.
Regardless, I would not ask the parents to chip in for pizza.
persimmon / 1322 posts
Yes, I would find it off putting. Weekends are family time for us, so it'd be a situation where we'd both like the option to attend. What about choosing a different venue for the party, and doing a special outing on a different day with a couple of close friends?
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@TemperanceBrennan: LOL I was joking about the pizza!
Personally, I think 4 is a bit young to drop off. I think the zoo provides two party hosts. Then obviously there's DH and I, and the adults in our family that will be around to help.
But I would be annoyed if a parent dropped off their kid at a party at a zoo! We'll be going out of the party room to an exhibit. I wouldn't want to be responsible for their child like that! 
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@LindsayLou: my DD has been talking a lot about having her (daycare) friends at her birthday party. So, I really want to make it happen for her. However that is. And we have close friends and family with younger kids as well. It'll be more of a hassle to organize two different events.
eggplant / 11716 posts
@TemperanceBrennan: I think most parents are not comfortable dropping off their children with near-strangers (a classmate's parents) at a large place like a zoo, where a child could get away from the party, etc. I think "drop off" parties become more feasible after kids are a bit older. Maybe after school age? I'm actually not sure what age I'd feel comfortable just dropping my kid off and leaving.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Anagram: yea, I'll be comfortable maaaybe at 6 or 7, and I knew the parents well and it was in a self contained space the whole time.
coconut / 8279 posts
@Andrea: same! I had guests for J's family bring not only their spouse but also extended family It was fine but if I had a per person charge I wouldn't have known what I was going to pay.
We live in the city in a tiny (700sf, 2 parking spaces, no guest parking and no street parking Nov-Apr) space and J's birthday is in December. We have to book a venue or he doesn't have a party.
@regberadaisy: we wanted to do a Legoland birthday party since we're members but the room limit is 25, with two parents to each kid we wouldn't have been able to do it, so we did the bowling alley this year.
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