So, we are going to see a house on Wednesday with our desired characteristics in a great neighborhood but....it's probably 12 houses away from my MIL. We have a good relationship but I don't think I could live that close to my parents either!
I don't know...inventory is so low...
Eta: It's 8 houses down, not 12. While these are pretty big lots, that's close. Like a 20 second drive.
129 votes
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Depends. We were talking about going back by my parents and we agreed that nothing within walking distance could be our boundary.
pear / 1672 posts
Depends..if it's in the community they live now, then no because I don't think that's a good place for us. If they lived where we live now, then I think so. My MIL and I have a good relationship. My DH grew up on the same street with his first cousins on his mom's side and both sets of grandparents, which is pretty crazy when I think about it..
watermelon / 14467 posts
That's a no. I love my inlaws, but I do not want to live in their area and I doubt they would ever move to mine.
grapefruit / 4988 posts
No, but only because she lives in a very different town than us (sleepy suburb over an hour from where we live/work). If she lived in the nearby town we hope to move to, I'd have no issue living close by. I'd actually be more comfortable living close to MIL than to my own family.
honeydew / 7504 posts
Nope. No, no, no. My BILs both live within a mile of my ILs, and they are over at their houses ALL.THE.TIME. When we moved back to Central PA, my BIL was trying to convince us to buy a house on their street. We settled on a house about 25 minutes away, on the opposite side of the river. [The Susquehanna River separates the East Shore from the West Shore, and to many people, my ILs included, that river may as well be the Atlantic Ocean]
pomegranate / 3231 posts
@ShootingStar: Mine would do that too. It would drive me insane. No way would I ever sign up for that.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
Totally. We actually considered it but can't afford it. DH goes to visit his mom very often anyway, so if we lived close she'd be less lonely and we'd save a ton of commute time. And maybe she could help with the kids a little.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
Not even the same town... Nope. We get along much better at a distance.
nectarine / 2797 posts
Maybe. I know she'd help out a ton with childcare! But some serious boundaries would have to be set.
pomegranate / 3113 posts
From MY MIL, no. But if I had a MIL with whom I had a good relationship, sure.* I grew up about that distance from my dad's parents and it was great to have them so close. I don't think my mom ever felt claustrophobic about it or anything.
* We don't have a bad relationship, just don't really know each other. She's kind of a distant person in general, plus she lives in another country and we have a language barrier, so I really can't picture living nearby.
honeydew / 7917 posts
Nope! I like my FIL, but my MIL is another story. She drives me crazy!! It would be nice to be closer. We're currently 25 minutes away, and the kids sleepover about once a month. I can't be on the same street though. I can just see my in law's wanting to eat dinner together every night. Ugh!
grapefruit / 4321 posts
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa. Wait, was that a real question?
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I said depends but probably. I like my MiL a lot, and she is very very respectful of boundaries. I don't think she would help a ton with childcare but she definitely would help some. I even really like the town she lives in but I don't want to move there.
pomelo / 5509 posts
No! My MIL is totally the type who would drop in whenever. Plus she'd constantly be nagging DH to come over and help with stuff around their house.
honeydew / 7230 posts
No, but if my mom wanted to move into my neighborhood I'd be fine with that!
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
I wouldn't mind. There's actually a house for sale across the street from my in-laws and DH joked about us moving. Now, would I live down the street from my own mom? That's a definite nope. I have a great relationship with my in-laws and we lived with them for a few months (before we had kids). They tend to respect boundaries, whereas my mom has issues with that.
apricot / 486 posts
I'm sorry, but I wouldn't even want to be within 20 miles of my in laws. FIL lives across the state and MIL lives across the country and that is perfectly fine with me! Lol. I'm horrible!
squash / 13199 posts
I love my MIL but no, I dont want to live that close to her or my own parents for that reason. It will be different when they are older and need assistance or need our presence close by. But for now I need my space
honeydew / 7622 posts
Yes with some proper rules. Before we moved we lived a five minute drive from each set of parents, it was no big deal.
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
My inlaws, yes. But they are generally respectful of boundaries. My parents on the other hand, hell to the no.
eggplant / 11716 posts
I think I probably wouldn't care, but maybe I would have a discussion with DH first about boundaries to make sure we are on the same page. Generally, my inlaws are really nice and respectful, but right now we live 8 hours apart, so maybe I'm not thinking about potential issues. I feel like it would be cool when the kids are older to just send them over to the inlaws by themselves when I need a break, haha. Like, "Hey guys...Mommy needs to relax and read a book for a while. Why don't you go on down and check on Grandma and Grandpa and see what they're up to?" haha. Living the dream...
pineapple / 12053 posts
Absolutely never. Ever. Both because of the location of their house and because I couldn't deal with being that close to my in laws. They do not have boundaries and distance is the only thing that keeps me somewhat sane.
pomelo / 5621 posts
I'd love it. I would love to live walking distance to my IL's or my parents. I think it would be great for DS. I think it also helps that we all work and are busy, so it wouldn't be like the are always over.
But maybe this is a fantasy since we live far enough away that we only see them a couple times a year.
nectarine / 2173 posts
No way. Love my ILs but we live about 20 mins away and that's perfect.
apricot / 443 posts
I would love it! but they're super respectful and I'd probably be more likely to annoy them! Mil and I could be gym buddies and I could get her to watch DD for the occasional night out. Man. It would be awesome.
eggplant / 11287 posts
No.....that's a bit too close.
We used to be walking distance from her....about 3-4 blocks away, and then just bought a new house that is a 3-minute drive. LOL. But seriously. No closer.
pineapple / 12566 posts
Funny, my BIL was looking to buy a house a few years ago and one just 3 doors down from my ILs became available (and these are townhouses, so they were very close). They didn't even go look at it. 
They ended up buying maybe a 5 minute drive away.
I wouldn't buy on the same street as my ILs mostly because I wouldn't want to live forever in their city! But we've never lived close to family (other than 9 months living with them), so I don't know what it would be like.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Umm no! My rule of thumb for proximity is that we live far enough away the parent must call before they come. No random showing up just because they "were in the neighborhood." OP, in your case that would be literal every day, all day.
I will say that my little cousin lives within walking distance of his grandma and great grandma (his other family) and he loves it. He told me when he grows up he plans to remain that close to them. Who knows maybe it's good for the children?
honeydew / 7463 posts
@Truth Bombs:
No way, no how. I won't even move to their state. We are in NY and they are in NJ. It's a 1+ hour trip and they still come once a week (sometimes more). And they still think I'm not welcoming enough. It's a major sore spot for us.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I don't think I'd mind. She's an awesome cook so I wouldn't mind having her cook for me a few times a week!
pomegranate / 3973 posts
We live right next to my in-laws, so yes.
Positives: - Easy/quick babysitter if I need to run out quick, or even to take DS for a bit so I can make dinner/clean house.
- Available to watch DS (in the future) and step-daughter after school.
- I can borrow flour, sugar, eggs anytime and vice versa.
- No travel for holiday get togethers! 
- She stops down in the morning sometimes and will get DS ready for me (love that).
- DS and step-daughter love being able to go visit, and I know as a child I loved living next to my grandparents as well and hated when we moved!
- She grabs UPS/Fed Ex packages for me if I need her to and if I forget to turn the crock pot on or hair straightener off she can take care of it for me.
Negatives: She may show up often/unannounced but she doesn't stay long so its really no big deal and we get along fine.
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