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i think we could do it because i have a pretty good relationship with my MIL and she is the opposite of overbearing and obtrusive. if the question were asked of my husband, however, the answer would be NO in flames that jumped off the computer screen to create a hellfire.
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Sure. But they are very respectful of boundaries, and travel a lot anyway. And my mom lives with us.
I wouldn't ever want to be in the same state as my father and stepmother, though.
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I voted sure, because my ILs have great boundaries and I know they'd be good neighbors. BUT, I would never move to where they live, so they'd have to come to us!
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def not! we have boundary issues with mil
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Yep and I already did. MIL lives a couple miles down the road from us. I worried about boundaries in the beginning but honestly, they never bother us and it's really helpful when we need someone to watch LO. I've been really happy with our decision.
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I would do it in a heartbeat with either set of parents. I would love it if I live between them so I can have unlimited help within reach, haha! They are all respectful and I know they would respect our privacy, etc.
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No, MIL and DH do not get on that well, as she is always telling him what to do - and she can be really dramatic if she doesn't get her way - and he hates being told what to do. I would go insane. Though DH is an only child, so at some point when she gets older we may not able to get away from her moving in with.
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So my MIL passed away but if she were alive, I would say no. She would be over all of the time, especially now that we have kids. And DH wouldn't stop it. On the flip side, I could live next door to my parents and they would never dream of coming over uninvited. We live 3 miles from them and I love it.
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we do, literally right next door and it's awesome.
I have a great MIL though!now if it were my mom.. nope
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@edelweiss: Hahahaha. Hellfire. Yeah, that's accurate for me too.
My MIL lives halfway across the country and I couldn't be more grateful. They are a gregarious family that loves to talk, never need to recharge (like poor introvert me) and are obsessed with going out to eat.
I see three options: my budget would combust, I'd have to host them every other night for dinner, or they'd think I didn't like them (honestly, this happened the last time they were in town and wanted me to drive an hour with a toddler to eat at a chain restaurant and I said no).
We have very different outlooks on life and my financial philosophy puts me at odds with the credit cards buy you happiness philosophy.
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I get along well with my in-laws, but I don't think I'd want to live down the street from them. They wouldn't intrude on us or anything, but living down the street would mean we were in the same town that we both grew up in. Me and my husband were high school sweethearts and we grew up less than 5 minutes from each other in the same small town.
When we bought a house we knew we wanted to be pretty close to our parents so we could see them frequently, but we also wanted to have our own town where we wouldn't constantly see people we went to school with. We ended up buying a house in a neighboring county and are only about 30 minutes away from our parents, which is perfect for us!
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I would do this with my parents but probably not my in-laws... We are planning to buy a house in the same school district that both sets of our parents live in (where we both went to high school).
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Hell to the no! If we lived near my IL's, they'd nag hubby to come over to fix something or just hang out all the time, expect us to eat dinner with them all the time and probably drop by unannounced. When I was 12 we built a house for my grandparents (my dad's parents) on our property and it was awesome having them so close and going up there whenever I wanted! My grandma could be a difficult woman and now that I have a MIL who drives me crazy, it gives me a whole new appreciation for my mom dealing with my grandma being so close even though I'm sure she bothered her at times. The funniest part: my grandma's house was on a slight hill and her bedroom window looked down on our house so she could see the driveway, part of the backyard, and my sister's room, our den, and my parents room. She'd always go "I just happened to be in my room and look down and see this colored car/the lights were on late, who was up/etc" We joked that she just sat by that window watching our house!
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Sure. They're fun and laid back to hang out with, great at respecting boundaries, and we'd definitely take advantage of the help with child care - they're about to move 45 min away and already offering to provide care 2x/week or so.
My parents though - no way in hell. Other side of the country is perfect.
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So this could have been us.... both me and hubs and his brother and wife bought our houses at the same time in the same town (but opposite sides) before we were married. My inlaws lived about 20-25 mins away and right near my SIL's parents. My parents lived over an hour away in the next state.
My inlaws for the most part keep to themselves, and would have us for dinner a couple sundays a month. we all started having babies and my MIL graciously watched each grandchild one day a week for their first year. but other wise we're fairly hands off. When my LO was about a year old they decided to buy a house down the street from my BIL. Partially downsizing to one floor living but also to be closer to all of us. When they told us, I made it extremely clear that our current house was not our forever home and i couldnt guarantee that we would stay in our town, or even the immediate area. Less than a year ago, my SIL's parents bought the house right next door to BIL/SIL. so now they all live on the same street.
When we put our house up for sale last spring, I know my SIL really wanted us to find a house in their neighborhood. but hubs and I just couldnt live that close to them. BIL/SIL have no boundries and my MIL/FIL are not super helpful in the child care dept (as in no weekends, wont watch more than one child at a time)
Other things factored in and we actually put an offer on a house in the next town over but same school district, but that fell through. We ended up buying about 15 min from my parents and i know my inlaws feel very slighted.
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I would consider it, we used to live across the street from my in laws (we rented from them.) BUT my MIL literally was in my shoes -- SHE used to live in the house WE lived in when she and my husband first got married - and her IL's lived in the house across the street. So she has really strong boundaries. My mother on the other hand...probably not. I would be able to deal with her but I could see it causing problems down the road. We grew up living next to my grandparents and had to move, mostly because it was causing soooo much drama.
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Yeah it would probably be fine with my MIL. She has good boundaries, is a private person and has her own life/interests/hobbies. I think it's actually harder because DH and I live super far (cross country) from our ILs and when they come to visit they are in our house for extended periods of time and that is hard on me. I like my quiet time and space.
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it would be amazing IF they are people who can respect boundaries. Pre-kids, we lived 10 blocks from my in-laws and they never once stopped by unannounced. Post-kid, we lived <1 mile from my parents and they never once stopped by unannounced. Given those experiences, I would be willing to move in on the same street. But if I had any concerns about them just showing up unannounced, it would be a no go.
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Maybe? My in-laws do a lot of babysitting for us, so living that close by could make it easier for them to watch our kids. I think it would be nice for the kids as they get older to be able to walk to grandma's house. It might give them a closer relationship than they would have otherwise had.
However, my in-laws and I don't always see eye-to-eye. I think we get along better when we see each other less. So living in the same neighborhood as them would only work if I weren't expected to spend tons of time with them. I wouldn't want an Everybody Loves Raymond scenario where they stop by unannounced all the time. That would drive me crazy.
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While there would be some pros, I'd be uncomfortable living that close, I think. That said, my IL's have suggested many times that we should all buy either a property or a home together where they could live in their own space but we could all be close & watch the property while they/we are traveling.
A nice idea, but I don't even need to see them more than weekly, let alone daily!
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I could never! My in laws are both nice people but I couldn't live that close to either of them. They would want to see us every single day. I could def live by my parents though. They are so non intrusive and would only come over when we asked them to.
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No way! We get along fine but there would be boundary issues on their part for sure.
A nice idea, but I don't even need to see them more than weekly, let alone daily!
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