My friend just broke up her engagement with her fiancee because he just revealed to her that he didn't want any kids. Ever. He was the love of her life. But it was really important for her to be a mom, whether biological or via adoption. I don't know what I would do....I can't imagine not having my DH in my life. But I feel SO fulfilled as a mom too. That's a toughie.
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Wow. That IS a tough question. I think it would be a deal breaker for me.
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Ummm I already had G so I was okay with not having more.
If I didn't have any & wanted some and my future spouse didn't, they wouldn't be my future spouse. It'd really be that simple for me. *shrugs shoulders*
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yeah that's a deal breaker. It would be sad and I would grieve but yes, I'd have to do it. We wouldn't share the same values in life if he didn't want to be a parent. That, to me, is as important as sharing faith or any other value in life.
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That would also be a deal breaker for me. I've always wanted kids.
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@TurtleDoves: Completely agree.
It would break my heart but it would be a deal breaker for me as well.
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Deal breaker. Thx to goodness it didn't come to that.
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I think I decided DH was "the one" with or without children. Life without having my own children would be so sad at the same time...but I don't think I could have given him up. I probably would have focused my time some where else, like going to med school and putting a lot of time and energy into that to distract myself.
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Deal breaker.
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I think I would have. E means the world to me, but before I met DH I was very meh about whether or not I even wanted children. He brought me around to wanting a child, but I still would have married him if he hadn't.
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I think it would have been a deal breaker for me, too.
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It would have been a deal breaker for me. Even though we were young when we started dating, we discussed wanting kids one day. I feel like I would have know. Early on and it wouldn't have been so hard.
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It would have been a deal breaker. We discussed this very early on so it wasn't an issue...
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It would have been a deal breaker. We discusses this early on so I knew we shared the same life goals.
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Definite deal breaker for me. Family, including children, is extremely important to both of us, but if it wasn't I don't think I would have been interested in being in a relationship with him.
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I would of, but it wouldn't have been fair to DH. Although he said it would have been fine either way (when it took us awhile to TTC). He's always known he wanted kids, whereas it took me awhile to figure it out (but that was before we were a couple).
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i told DH when we first started talking/dating that if he didn't want kids, to tell me then, because it wasn't going to work. it would have been a deal breaker for me.
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When I met DH, he didn't want children. We were 19 and 20. He also swore he would never get married, but he proposed eight months later. Seven years later, he decided that he did want children after all.
I told him up front that I wanted children eventually. Even if we never had kids, that wouldn't have been a deal breaker for me.
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Would have been a deal breaker. DH and I were friends first and he kept approaching me about being more. When I realized I loved him I flat out asked if kids were in his future because I didn't want to waste both of our time or hearts. Oh and marriage. I needed marriage and kids in my future.
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Like @runsyellowlites:, I already had DS when I met DH, so any additional children weren't mandatory. We had talked about "maybe" having kids, and both of us were either/or on the subject.
However, if I had no children and wanted some, I would have to be with someone who also wanted kids.
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That would have been a definite deal breaker.
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Nope.
I've broken up with men before for this reason. Non-negotiable. -
That's a deal breaker.
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No, having babies was something I wanted since I was little, that would be a deal breaker for me.
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I would have still married him. But we were on the fence if we were really going to have kids, anyways. We both decided around the same time that we did want at least 1 child, so it worked out.
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Definite deal breaker. I was actually married for a short time and this was the main reason we divorced. He had said he wanted children when we met, but when the discussion came up again after marriage, he had changed his mind...
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It would not have been a deal breaker for me. I love my husband but we found each other later in life. I got older and was suddenly single, I realized I could live a life without children and still feel fulfilled.
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If he was 100% sure he didn't want kids, it probably would have been a dealbreaker. We've always been open about wanting kids.
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We wouldn't have made it if he didn't want kids. But I knew he did pretty early on in the relationship.
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No. The last guy I dated before my DH didn't want kids, and that was what ended it for us.
DH talked right away about what we want for our lives, which included having a family.
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@looch: I could see that for me too.... If we met later in life, I would probably have already forgone having kids.
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I think I could have been happy without kids. DH is the one that kept talking about our future kids, so he brought me around.
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I still would have married him. We were both on the fence about kids for a long time, and I still would want him as my husband even if he had decided he didn't want children.
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@looch: Agree! I felt lucky enough to have found DH when I did.
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I would have been fine without kids, and I would have stayed with DH. If I didn't want kids, though, I think DH wouldn't have married me; having kids was very important to him.
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Deal breaker.
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Total deal breaker for me too!
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We discussed our goals for life before dating. Marriage and kids was important to both of us. I would not have started dating him if he didnt see them in his future.
If he had revealed later this wasnt what he wanted after all, I would probably have broken up for lying and misleading.
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Yeah, but I would have certainly found that out before getting engaged! I wonder why they waited so long to have that (very important) talk?
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i'm not sure, but i think i would have still married him. for years i did not want children, so it was not a deal breaker for me. of course, it would have given me pause in case i changed my mind about kids in the future (which i did).
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