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I would be worried but would let him go

Feels like an over-reaction to me. I'm not very risk adverse though - I tend to agree with your husband on not living in fear. I also think places were a big attack happened previously are less likely to be targeted again so quickly, and will have max security.

I empathize with your fears as I have the same ones, even though I know that they aren't very rational. That said, I would let him go.

I thought this post would be about something like sky-diving (which I joked with DH that he would not be allowed to do after we had kids). I will try to be gentle, but I think this is an over-reaction. I am pregnant too and I would not be the least bit concerned if my DH wanted to go to this event. This is a very safe city and the police will be hyper-vigilant. The marathon bombing was a one time thing! It is not like we have terror attacks all the time around here.

Coming from a person that got jumpy every week dropping off my husband at the airport for a short 60 min flight three months straight I totally get why you're worried. I quelled my fears by telling myself the plane was too small to be a target. The Boston Marathon is a been there/ done that tragic event. Sure anything could happen, but we must go on living our lives.

My brother is running the marathon and I will be attending it with my one year old (and his son, my sister's kids, etc.). I understand your fear but I agree with your husband that you can't let fear rule your life. One of the things I've felt more intensely since becoming a parent is that life is freaking scary. There are no guarantees. But you kind of just have to push that fear down and continue on with your life.

Also second others that I am sure these events are much safer now than in 2013. Not just because of increased police presence and security but I feel like everyone is a bit on more high alert. I think it will be safe for your husband to go.

Let him go and try not to worry about it. I think you are overreacting. My brother and sister were a block away from the bombing in 2013. They still go watch the marathon. Going to events like this isn't risky just because something like that has happened before. Saying that it is risky is like saying that living life is risky. Of course, it is. Would you stop driving a car because you are more likely to die in a car accident than any other way? No, you don't. You live your life as best you can.

Seems like they will (and already do) have very heightened security, so I wouldn't keep him from going. There were all kinds of warnings about riding the Subway on the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 but I did and nothing happened. Not that terrorists are necessarily rational beings, but I would think they'd avoid places that have been targeted before and would therefore be on high alert going forward.

i understand your worries, but that's not something i would worry about. if it were me, i'd be fine with him going.

I read this and thought you meant something actually risky. Mountain climbing? Free climbing? Base jumping? Ideally not. Going to a public place? Riding a road bike, for god's sake? Seriously, let's take a step back here.

I have an anxiety disorder too, but at some point, we've got to take responsibility for our own feelings, and not try to project them on our spouses.

Definitely not something I would worry about. I however get pissed when my husband texts and drives and would not want him to ride a motorcycle or go skydiving or other extreme things like that. He's more likely to die in a car crash on his way to work than be present during a terrorist attack.

I used to be a very anxious, immediately think of the worst scenario type of person, so I totally get it. I don't think it's your husband or anyone else's job to manage your anxiety for you, though by allowing you to dictate what they do so you are comfortable. That has to be work you do for yourself. That realization changed my life and bettered my relationship ten fold!

@Paddington10: Until 2013 these events were pretty open, casual... detail officers and medical tents for runners, etc.

There is much, much more security now. Helicopters have been overhead all week in preparation.

I'll never forget the 4th of July Pops rehearsal in 2013. We go every year. It's a great opportunity to see the Boston Pops perform the entire program the night before with a much, much smaller crowd. Perfect for families.
That year the Esplanade was lined with state troopers. There were bomb-sniffing dogs everywhere. You had to walk through metal detectors to get inside. I actually started crying. It had never been like that and I was sad that that is what it had come to.

As a resident of the town where the firefight took place behind my house, it's taken a couple years of therapy. I still get antsy this time of year with all the memorials, etc.

Boston Strong
Lots of men and women out there every day working to keep us safe.

I have a friend who is running the marathon this year. I think the heightened security is a good thing, and while I understand your concerns, I would let my husband go. Something bad could happen anywhere, so I wouldn't single one place out just because of an attack that happened in the past.

Although everyone says you are overreacting you are pregnant and thus I would make him bow down to my fear. If I were legitimately scared I would still try to make him stay home and indulge my pregnant overreacting hormones. But that's just me.

I am 9 months pregnant and my husband is running this year, and I am definitely going to be a spectator. However - I was at the finish line in 2013 so have pleeeenty of anxiety about this event that I've been working on. I probably won't go near where I was standing that day but it's extremely important to me as someone who witnessed the attacks feel like I'm taking that day and our city back. I ran the race in 2014 to do just that and it was incredibly empowering.

So I completely understand your fears and anxiety, especially with a baby on board (i don't even like my DH riding his bike!), but there is something to be said for reacting to tragedy with love and gathering once again as acommunity. Monday is going to be a beautiful, inspiring day