I have made lots of threads about our struggle to determine a name for our little girl due in April. lots of people have told me we'll know when we see her. if you were undecided, did you just know when you met them? if you had a name picked, did you change it if they didn't look like their name?
we are thinking of choosing one name if she's fair/blonde and one name if she's darker/brunette. would you do this? or is it insane? it seems to be the only way we can determine which of us wins 
68 votes
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
No. I think all newborns kinda look like aliens. Plus LO looks so different now than she did when she was a newborn.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
We had a red headed name picked as a back up, but when #1 came out with dark hair, we knew it would be our original choice.
cantaloupe / 6692 posts
Nah. I had T's name secured way before he was born. I didn't feel like he would be born and look like a different name. He looks like a T because he is a T!
nectarine / 2272 posts
I voted kinda. When we started the adoption process, we were 100 percent sure we were going to name a boy Colby James. But when we got matched with Jaeyeong....he looks like a Jaeyeong....not a Colby! So we stuck with his birth name.
pear / 1657 posts
We were team green, and had two boy names and three girl names picked out. When baby boy was born, we didn't instantly know which name we'd give him, but after we got to know him for a few hours, we were sure which name was right for him.
pineapple / 12802 posts
We didn't, but we only agreed on one name so there wasn't any room for that. I do know a lot of people who wait until they see their baby to pick a name from their short list.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
We had E's name already chosen, long before she came out. If we were debating between two, maybe one would have spoken to us more. I wouldn't choose based solely on hair color
squash / 13208 posts
Not me but a friend did this.
She named her baby "A" and when she was born she called me and said "B" is here!!!
I was so confused - who is B??
She said when she saw her she didn't look anything like A but she looked like B - so they changed it!
eggplant / 11824 posts
Yes and no. We didn’t pick LO's name based on her looks, like having dark hair vs. light hair, like your example. But we went into LO’s birth with a short list of names and when we saw her and had spend a day with her, it was just obvious that she (and her face, and everything about her) just didn’t fit those names. So we started over and found the name that truly fit LO. So, in that sense, her name was based on her looks, I guess you could say.
pear / 1787 posts
so follow up question since no one seemed to really do this... is it really bizarre if we do? we both have a favourite and can't agree... i can't see either of us caving after she's born! it seems like a fair way to determine. and one of the names just seems like a blondie to me!
nectarine / 2272 posts
@loki: I think it's totally fine to do it that way if you like both names! I totally understand how you want them to "look" like their name, whether it be about hair color or just generally the way they look.
I didn't necessarily keep my son's name Korean just because his face is Korean, but the way the name sounds and its meaning just really suits him!
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
@loki: I don't think it's bizarre, but if you each love a name I can definitely see you saying she looks like the name you love and your DH saying she looks like the name he loves. So not sure it'll really help, but maybe!
nectarine / 2641 posts
We had our first choice name and a back-up name. After LO was born, I told DH his name was *first choice*. It definitely helped us choose between the two to see LO.
pomelo / 5258 posts
I dont think it's weird to feel that way.
I pictured DDs name for a dark haired baby. She came out with red hair. Her name felt all wrong in the hospital after seeing her but I stuck with it. I'm glad I didn't change it based on her appearance. It totally fits her now.
nectarine / 2317 posts
@loki: We have two favourites and i'm pretty much saying we'll decide when we see her. I kinda have that hair colour thing, but it can change so much after birth, so she could have dark hair and it get much lighter or fall out and go light later... My DH thinks its dumb to decide when I see her but that's how I'll know if it's right...hopefully!
pear / 1787 posts
@hotchildinthecity: i love your son's name and reading about him
@lawbee11: ya totally. i think that's why the hair colour parameter will at least force us to make a choice haha.
@Banana330: that's so true, she will most definitely change over time... but hopefully by then one will have stuck and it'll suit her! haha. i'm so scared of regretting our choice. and i NEVER imagined myself as the kind of person to wait until i see her. but it looks like that's our only option currently.
pear / 1787 posts
@Corduroy: did she keep her red hair? i was born with red hair too but i'm quite naturally blonde now... my DH is half japanese. so it really could go any way with our babe! haha.
persimmon / 1179 posts
Yes for us, we had narrowed it down to 2 names and when LO was born we didn't like either one anymore. We went back to drawing board and ended up picking a name from our long list that we had cut previously. None of our short list names felt right!
pineapple / 12802 posts
@loki: I think you can choose a name however you like as long as you are both happy with it in the end, ya know? If the way you've chosen works for you two then that's really all that matters!
pear / 1787 posts
@getjazzy: i guess that could happen to us too! i hope not because we don't agree on ANY other than these two haha.
@.twist.: totally true. in the end, it doesn't really matter all that much HOW we came to determine it. ps nice new avi
pomegranate / 3350 posts
With LO2 we had 2 names picked out but neither felt right when we saw him so he got a completely different name that we really had never even discussed. I think we were picturing a blondie and he was much darker than we expected and that was a big part of why the names didn't feel right.
pineapple / 12566 posts
I don't think its wierd to name the baby based on looks. But keep in mind that a lot can change. My DD was born with dark hair and it has become much lighter, even blondish-reddish in sunlight!
persimmon / 1179 posts
@loki: I actually think that might have been part of our problem, we could barely agree on any boys names, we each had our top pick and the other wouldn't bend so we scrapped them all and started over. Literally looking on our phones at baby names and LO was born Friday night and not named until Sunday evening! It was difficult for us.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
Kinda. I think about what baby girl will look like when I'm thinking of names. I'm in an interracial marriage, and I know she's not gonna be blonde with blue eyes based on our backgrounds. So, if I have an association that I think is very blonde, I don't get the feeling it will fit. I am however starting to think that a baby grows into their name more often than she looks like a fill in a blank.
I think both of your choices are great. Have you tried using one name for a week, then the other to see how it feels? We've been doing that, and she hasn't "felt" like any of the names we initially thought when we exclusively refer to her as Ava or whatever name we are on at the moment . That might help!
pear / 1787 posts
@lamariniere: ya i definitely expect her to change... i was a red head for like the first month of my life and then was white blonde for an eternity! i'm just hoping by that point a name will have stuck! haha.
@getjazzy: i think that is going to happen to us too! it's so unlike me because i want to monogram things and get letters for her nursery and buy custom swaddle blankets haha...
@dc yoga bee: you're totally right, i'm kinda in the camp that all babies look alike and end up looking like whatever you name them! that's why i feel like hair colour is the only deciding factor for us. the problem is my husband exclusively refers to her as his top choice!!! so annoying because it is making me call her that sometimes too! he is winning this battle haha. it's so hard for me to commit to a name for her when she's just this little being in my belly, not a human outside yet! so i call her nothing, for the most part. but i should start calling her willa!
honeydew / 7230 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: Dying to know what her name would have been if she was a red head! I was really hoping DD would be a red head and at the last second I could convince DH to go with a super "red head" name like Ginger, Ruby, Scarlett, Garnett, etc. He did not go for that plan, ha!
@loki: We had their names picked ahead of time, but I did want to say that DD had a dark mullet at birth but it all fell out and her hair is golden blonde now. So appearance at birth could be deceiving!
honeydew / 7622 posts
@loki: I think keeping the names on hand and meeting her is the best way to go. I don't think its weird to choose once they are born based on a feature, but I would just urge you to keep an open mind and give yourself a moment to get to know your daughter. My parents did not name me until I was 4 days old. My Mom journaled about the process. It was really interesting. We are set on a name, but have not monogrammed anything 
grapefruit / 4770 posts
@loki: You should. Each person should get a week to completely immerse themselves in calling her the name. I have been feeling exactly like you. There's *something* growing in there, and I'm sick all the time. When I found out it was a girl, I was hoping to feel more connected. It's the name. It's important to me to while not force it, I need to personalize her so it's an actual person to me. So, when we called her Ava, Gwen, etc it immediately felt weird and unnatural to me. Like, no I don't have a daughter named Ava. Then we knew it wasn't the one! Since your husband has been calling her his top choice exclusively, ask him to start calling her Willa this week. And use it a lot too! "Can you put this in Willa's nursery?" "Willa must like this apple pie, she's moving like crazy in there."
pomelo / 5258 posts
@loki: At almost 2 DD's red hair seems to be turning more strawberry blonde than true red but since she is DH's clone I'm pretty confident it will never be dark like I imagined for her,.
grapefruit / 4079 posts
@loki: I've had a name picked out for a girl for years. I also have two others I love so if I felt like changing it I probably would.
I think your idea is a great one and the perfect compromise.
pear / 1787 posts
@twodoghouse: haha dark mullet! ya i guess you just never know how they'll actually end up looking! wish we could just commit to something. i still love alice
@youboots: ya i definitely don't want to rush into anything. i think we'll take our time naming her and then hopefully we'll both be happy with our choice!
@dc yoga bee: just reading that paragraph made me feel like her name is willa! like when you were saying "put this in willa's room" etc. but i'm sure my DH would say the same about Gemma haha. but ya i'm going to try to get him to refer to her as Willa for a while and see if it catches on good idea!
@ladybee: thanks! it seems like the only solution at this point! with our luck she could be COMPLETELY bald with not even a trace of peach fuzz. then we will be stuck!
grapefruit / 4823 posts
@loki: when we were pregnant with our daughter, my husband and I each had a favorite name, and wouldn't really budge(unlike our son, who we picked his name out before he was born and stuck with it). When she was born, and we saw her one of the names just fit her better...she looked like one name more than the other. And honestly, I think the main deciding factor was her hair...she came out a flaming red head.
pear / 1787 posts
@GrapeCrush: interesting. did she keep her red hair? also... curious... was it your name or his name that suited her better?
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
we had a friend change her daughter's name after making it official because after living with it, they felt she didn't look like her name!
pear / 1787 posts
@Mrs. Bee: i've heard a few stories like that! a friend of mine's name was changed after she had her birth certificate and everything. and my friend's mom changed her brother's name after 6 weeks! i'm so scared that is going to happen to me!
pineapple / 12793 posts
@loki: my blonde daughter was born with dark hair....don't take newborn hair as gospel.
pear / 1787 posts
@oliviaoblivia: oh ya i definitely know it can change. it just seems like the one deciding factor that might help us make a choice/come to an agreement. by the time her actual hair colour settles, hopefully we like the name and we are attached to it for her! ha.
grapefruit / 4823 posts
@loki: yup, her red hair is here, and we are fairly certain to stay!
My choice was Everly and my husbands was Aurora. Her name is Aurora. I just pictured an Everly with blonde/light brown hair.
pear / 1787 posts
@GrapeCrush: so cute! i know a white blonde Aurora but it is so precious for a little redhead!
were you upset to give up Everly? Or you were totally fine once you felt like she looked more like an Aurora?
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