The reverse of the other post, although I know it doesn't actually apply to most of the people here...
If you didn't want children, do you think your SO would have still married you?
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If I didn't, I don't think DH would have perused a serious relationship with me at all. So, nope!
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My DH probably would've. I'm not sure if having kids would've been a deal breaker for him. I don't think he thought about it too seriously until he met me!
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Nope, we actually talked about it early on because that's one of his deal breakers, too. His only life goal is to be a dad.
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Definitely not, he's always wanted a big family.
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Nope. He would have passed right over me.
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Yes he would have. We only have one dealbreaker, and it is the same one.
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Yes, he would have. Although he is so excited to be having a kid, and he will make a great dad, I don't think he would have minded being child-free.
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He would have, but I don't think I would have let him. it wouldn't be fair to him and i wouldn't want to worry for the rest of my life about him potentially resenting me.
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Yes, he said he wanted kids but when we discussed my potential infertility he said he would be ok without them too. (Whether I couldn't or didnt want to)
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No I don't think so.
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I don't think it would be a deal breaker for DH. DH LOVES being a dad, but he is very career oriented.
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Nope. His father was actually married before his mom and that marriage ended because his father wanted children and she didn't. So my husband was very aware of that issue and we discussed it before marrying.
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I don't think so. He also wouldn't have married me if I didn't want a dog. Good thing I wanted both of those things
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Yes. He already had children from a previous marriage, so I am sure he would have.
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Definitely not. In fact, i had to come around to wanting kids at all because he wanted them so badly! But, somehow seeing how much he wanted to be a dad helped convince me i wanted to be a mom too...i just had never thought about it before him, honestly.
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No. Deal breaker for him too. Those early convos about family was very easy because we both wanted children.
I did ask DH if we never had kids because we just couldn't conceive if he would need fine, if I was enough and I was happy he said yes. There's alot of pressure to fulfill a dream even when it's shared by two.
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Yep...he didn't care either way.
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I doubt it. While we love each other so darn much, having a family is so incredibly important to us it would have been a deal breaker either way. Heck, I was willing to marry somebody of a different religion but somebody who didn't want kids? Out of the question.
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Yes. I did not want kids when we were dating or when we got married. I think he either hoped I would change my mind or loved me enough to where it was ok if we didn't. We have one LO now and DH wants another but I don't. I told him he was lucky he got one out of me and its a compromise because he wanted 2 and I wanted none!
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Nope, I don't think he would have. Having children was really important to him.
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Nope would've been a deal breaker for him.
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Nope. Being a father was as non-negotiable for him as it was for me.
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Nope - he made it clear that was a deal breaker.
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I believe he would have. But, I think he would have visited the issue time and time again until I had changed my mind.
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Yes, he would have married me. Neither one of us knew for sure we wanted children, but we were open to the idea.
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Yep. He definitely would have still married me. Dh wasnt sure he wanted biological children when first started talking.
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Yes.
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no, having a family is very important to him
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Yep! He didn't even want kids. He would have been perfectly happy if it was just us.
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I think if he had found out really early on that I didn't want kids, he might not have pursued a serious relationship, but if he had found out after we had already fallen in love, he still would have married me. There have been a few points where I've wavered on whether I really want biological kids, and he's always said he would still marry me/be happy with me either way.
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Nope. DH wanted children as much as me. Deal breaker both ways.
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Definitely not. Family is a big thing for him. He's the one who talked ME into ttc earlier than planned
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Yes; neither of us were sure we wanted kids and we both were completely happy with it just being the two of us if that's how it worked out.
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Nope-it was a dealbreaker for him
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Perhaps...
We actually had to deal with this. I had a dream of becoming a cardiologist and I was adamant that if I chose a medical career, I couldn't have a family. At that time in my life, that dream consumed me and I definitely wanted that more than children. And I was okay with that!
I told DH that a few weeks after he proposed and he started crying. BUT he didn't break up with me. And we didn't talk about it again for several months.
Eventually though I gave up that dream of being a doctor, although a part of my heart will always want that, and chose to have a family instead.
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I know he would not have married me. We actually discussed this while we were engaged, to make sure we were both on the same page. If we hadn't been, we would not have gotten married.
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I just asked him (even though I already knew the answer) and nope, he wouldn't have. It was very important to both of us to have children.
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37 comments