What is your personal take on mess? Do you prefer to have your little ones stay (relatively) neat and clean, or do you have a whatever goes philosophy?
I love to let my kids explore, and to me a lot of mess usually=a lot of fun! There are some times, though, when I want or need them to stay clean, at least for a while...
49 votes
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
If it's regularly super messy, that usually means that we have too many toys out! The kids can have a ball with just a few toys out and then we can rotate the ones that we put away…
I also think that having fewer toys out means that the kids can learn to focus and concentrate on enjoying the toys that they do have access to? Well, that's the theory…
pomegranate / 3577 posts
If you are talking about making mudpies, I plan on fully embracing the mess. However, it will be a little while before we can tell how E will deal with being messy. DH apparently hated being messy and sticky!
As for the house, we're both minimalists and like things to have a place. I like the idea of limiting toys to encourage more creative play as Mr. Bee suggested.
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
@Mr. Bee; I'll need to clarify-- I agree with a minimalist standpoint on toys; I meant getting gross and disgusting, like cooking messes, mud, water play, etc. We rotate toys, too. Is Charlie getting to the point where he asks for things that aren't out? That's a constant frustration here because ours live in tubs in the basement and we are regularly asked to go and fetch "such-and-such" because Ellie NEEEEDS it.
pineapple / 12526 posts
I embrace making a mess in certain situations. She is free to pull out toys and explore, etc. Thats all fairly quick and easy to pick up after.
If we're talking about me letting her walk around looking a mess, no way. I dont let her wander around with food on her shirt and snot crusted on her face, just being filthy.
nectarine / 2085 posts
My feeling is that children shouldn't get used to the feeling of being dirty. I see a lot of kids at restaurants getting food all over and not being cleaned up until well after the meal (or worse, left with crusty stuff on their mouths), and it grosses me out. I wipe LO's mouth after every bite if there is still food on his mouth/cheek/hands. If we're talking about messes from the outdoors, I'm more relaxed, as long as the spot in question isn't effectively a doggie potty (a risk in our area...). We take baths immediately upon returning home if he's been playing in the sand or dirt.
coconut / 8475 posts
We don't embrace messes and I am constantly putting things away in the playroom (which is also clean). I hate toys and things laying around. I imagine this will be way more difficult once we have 2 under 2...but, I shall try!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I voted messes are fun... But I'm a little in between. I'm the more lenient parent. I will let him have a lot of independence and get dirty and do what he wants but DH is very much so a helicopter parent and gives little freedom lol. Anyhow I might not enjoy crazy messes everyday but I like giving J freedom to explore.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I need a multiple choice radio button because I have one neat and dainty and one with dirt dribbling out of her mouth 
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I don't approve of messes if they are made to just be messy. But if it has a purpose, then that is ok. Like when we make homemade pizzas and DD helps. That is messy, but we're teaching her about practical life and having messy fun at the same time so I am cool with that.
grapefruit / 4582 posts
I think messes are fun when it's time to get messy - jumping in puddles, doing art, helping mommy "cook" but when we are out to eat or she's just pulling everything out and running away, or running around the house all dirty , that's not ok.
nectarine / 2127 posts
LO is only 2 months old, so the biggest messes he makes are while eating and I try very hard to keep it contained by using a bib and burp cloth... DH lets him dribble milk all over his face, neck, and clothes. Yuck.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
Getting messy is a part of childhood, but of course there are some occasions for which I do (will..she's only 9 months so it's relatively easy to control right now) want her to stay clean!
pineapple / 12234 posts
@luckypenny: that's how I feel too.
If there is a purpose then okay. I do try to keep them neat and clean otherwise though.
bananas / 9118 posts
My take is that kids are washable, we take full advantage of baths and washing up. We have been practicing cleaning up after making a mess and getting him to put his toys away when he is finished.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I would have no problem with messes but my son is sometimes reluctant to get in the bath. So I have to pick and choose right now.
pomelo / 5093 posts
Well, I certainly don't wipe after every bite. My mother did that, and the equivalent for every other situation, and really effectively transferred her dirt and mess phobia to me. Flash forward to adulthood, and I feel like I've missed out on a ton of life experiences because of being afraid to get dirty.
My daughter is encouraged to get messy and enjoy life to the fullest. I'm also very concerned with the ways that boys are taught to enjoy mess and dirt, and girls are not. So we do none of that. She doesn't wear clothing that she can't get messy in. If she's wearing something pretty that I like, I'll change her in to a spare outfit that I always keep with me. Her body is one of the few things that she has control over, and I don't believe that she should be made to meet my standards of cleanliness (outside of those for hygienic reasons) purely for my own ego.
And the extent to which she feels free to get down on the ground and explore, to run through puddles and fields, and to really satisfy her curiosity about the world around her - it is amazing. I see so many children being held back from this type of exploration because their parents want them to stay neat and clean, and it breaks my heart. I was one of those children, and I wish I had not been.
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
@SaraC; I was allowed to explore and get messy, and it made me want the same for my children. It is so wonderful that you are able to give your daughter the experience you wish you could have had!
I don't like leaving food crusted on faces after a meal is done, I will admit that IS something I don't prefer to do, but other than that, I think it's great that my girls love puddles and mud and aren't afraid to get a little dirty. What sorts of outfits do you keep as spares? That's somthing I was just thinking about; I don't normally mind if clothes get dirty, but it seems a shame to ruin decent clothes, so I was thinking of thrift shopping a few outfits for those occasions. Ellie just uses some of last year's clothes that still fit and are a little grungier already.
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