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Yeah I'd definitely be pissed off and very tempted to take a "mommy-cation" at some inexpensive nearby hotel that weekend. Like.... I actually would probably do that.

I wouldn’t be doing any hosting duties! Tell DH he is in charge of entertaining and child minding while you rest. Go out, get a pedicure and enjoy some quiet time.

FWIW we had weekend company when I was 36 weeks with DS2. I did know they were coming but was t super excited. But they had a daughter the same age as DS1, so that kept him busy and we either ordered in or DH cooked. I just took it easy and relaxed.

Ok, that's really sneaky and insensitive and not cool. If your husband can't get BIL to go into a hotel, I second everyone who suggests you take a mini vacation on those days. If your husband doesn't get a taste of the joys of hosting while working and caring for kids (which he assumes is going to be your job), he'll just keep doing this.

Also not for nothing, but is SIL just chilling at home kid free for this weekend while you are apparently expected to be caring for four children while super pregnant?

Your husband is being a jerk.

I think you should send him and his brother and those kids somewhere other than your house. Stay home with your kids and hire a babysitter or mother's helper so you can have some breaks. Why should he kick you out of your own home?

Also, you can quit the school event. Tell them now that you won't make it to the trivia night. They can find a new volunteer. Don't be a martyr. There will be other school events.

You’re not overreacting. Like others have said, I would cancel out of the trivia night. It’s not acceptable for your husband to spring an extra kid on you. I was so incredibly exhausted at 35 weeks with my third.

Agree you should bow out of trivia night. The school will understand. And, I’d give your DH the phone number of a babysitter. He and BIL should be planning on doing kid-friendly activities with their kiddos and if they want some bro time, they should hire someone to do it for you. GL!

@Shantuck: definitely take back where you told your husband you would watch the kids while they go play trivia. You can find a girlfriend and go play trivia while they watch all the kids, or you can cancel the trivia altogether. I mean this in the gentlest way possible—-don’t be a doormat.

The main thing is, you and your husband need to communicate. And none of this is BIls fault really, this is all on your husband. So he needs to do the work—hire a cleaner, arrange for the food. And you have to actually step away and let him sink or swim. Don’t do things like volunteering to watch the kids if you are going to feel resentful over it, you know?

I run into this issue with my husband (and by the way, sometimes he runs into it with me!), where one of us kind of commits to a situation that really stretches us too far. We literally just ran into it this last weekend. We had a blow out (which is pretty rare for us!) but we had the blow up, I stated my feelings and my requirements for the situation, and we worked it out in the end. Very similarly to your situation, my husband over committed us for this last weekend, for the whole weekend, after an entire week where everyone but me had the flu and I slept very little, took care of the sick kids for 4 consecutive days because DH was also sick, our house and normal life stuff like laundry and grocery shopping fell by the wayside, and when finally we arrived at the weekend and my only desire was to clean up our house, rest a little, stock up on food, and do the mountain of laundry, suddenly I find out DH has committed to events both Saturday and Sunday, for several (like 5 hours each event) hours, and I was like—-no,this just isn’t going to work for me.

I did realize he was in a tough spot having already committed, so I gave him options—he could wake up super early both days to finish all the chores by himself before the kids were up (meaning, I was not going to wake up early to help him, as it was him that committed to these events), or he could get on the phone and call every cleaning service in town and send our laundry out, and he would do the mental labor of making all the calls and doing all the arranging. Or he could call the friends and cancel 1 or both days of events.

But I knew I didn’t have it in me to make through an entire hell week, and then not have a minute of downtime over the weekend.

And guess what—DH did it. He did ALL the laundry, and hung it all up and put it away. He did all the vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen and cleaning our room and his bathroom.

I did clean the kids bathroom.

I still felt worn out attending the 2 events he committed us to, but I felt more willing to make that happen for him when he worked so hard making my requirements happen for me.

Would it be possible for you to pretend that you're the guest of honor? By pretend, I mean act like you are ... truly? Get them to finish up the nursery and run errands you've been meaning to do. Have them pick up something you've been craving ... cook for you even. I mean if you bust out a rough itinerary, they won't flat out refuse now, will they?

OMG I could not leave this one without commenting: while your BIL sounds like a gem of houseguest to begin with (who brings a vomiting child to a house with a newborn ), I can just imagine this scenario with a DH being too scared to tell his heavily pregnant wife that there will be two extra kids to watch - buttt don’t be afraid to use the late pregnancy card and bow out of all activities that stress you out! You don’t need that right now and bringing on early labour sounds not great either. It has happened twice with me and I like reminding people to take it easy in those final weeks!

I echo the ideas above take yourself out and let your DH do the hard yards - sorry but if he could take on this commitment he can see it through! I struggle at the best of times with ILs who are insensitive and blind to others’ needs at times, but during pregnancy my fuse is extra short....you sound more patient than me but make sure you look after yourself and that new baby coming along (so exciting btw, congrats )

Good luck!!! And enjoy your new baby when they do arrive

I agree with others that said the fundamental problem is that it is NOT ok to have overnight guests happen without consulting each other first. We don’t even have regular company before ok-ing with each other!

I think at this point you just have to get him on board to make things as easy as possible for you. Dude, I just had my 3rd at 36+4 so he needs to understand that this is almost the end and there cannot be expectations on you. And then circle back to talk about how to properly communicate and come to agreements on these situations in the future.