I'm stressing about when we should tell our immediate family the news. Last time we told them around 5 weeks but I felt like it was announced to the world, and not just them. I would like to keep it between just DH and I until at least our first appointment around 8/9 weeks, ideally longer. I don't want friends to know until closer to 12 weeks. I do really wish I could tell just my sister though, since we are so close but is that fair? Can I tell just her but not my brother or DH's brother? What about our parents? I know my sister would be hurt if she didn't know sooner. I feel like if one person knows though then everyone needs to know. Any advice?
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That is a tough one but I would try to wait until your first appt to tell. If your sister gets upset, just tell her you all wanted to make sure everything was ok first
So excited for you!
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I told the people who would offer me the most support if anything happened. So my sister was the second to know (DH first).
I would tell her and just tell her to keep it a secret
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I think if you really want to tell your sister (and can trust her not to blab the news), then you should do it! Don't feel guilty about telling her and not your parents! I told my BFF at 4 weeks and didn't tell my parents until 13 weeks! I don't feel guilty about it. I needed to tell SOMEONE and I told the person I'm closest to. If that's your sister for you, then that's your right! Just ask her not to say anything to anyone else until you're ready for them to know.
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Can she keep a secret? I don't see why you need to tell anyone that she knew first. It's nice to have someone to discuss with in the very beginning before everyone else knows... besides hellobee that is.
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Only if she can keep a secret! I know it's nice to have that support system in case you are 1) getting sick 2)if something were to happen. I told anyone who would know if I lost the baby, so my family and close friends knew very soon.
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I think i would tell all the family at once.
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I am so close with my sister and trust her so much, I would tell her a few weeks before the others! I don't see the harm, but I haven't exactly been in the same position as you either. My parents might be ticked (I don't have any other siblings but DH does), but I am sure with the news, they would move on quickly!
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I would tell your sister! we didn't tell the whole family at once, in fact i told my parents two MONTHS before telling my brother, because i knew how supportive my parents would be (we told the in-laws about 6 weeks after telling my parents). I don't think you have to tell the whole family just because you want to share with your sister (as long as she can keep a secret!)
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@kiddosc: Yes I think she would keep it a secret, I'd express that very clearly!
@bisous: I wonder if we didn't even tell the other family that she knew, there would be no harm... -
I told my sister first (after DH of course) and she kept the secret. I mostly told her because she kept pressuring me to book flights for a vacation we were going to take...right around my due date, lol. She was really good and kept the secret and even acted surprised when I told the rest of the family at 12 wks!
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I think I would wait until the first apt, just to make sure that no one's feelings are hurt about not knowing before anyone else.
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I told my sister first too (after DH!). I didn't feel guilty about not telling my other siblings or parents for several more weeks-- she is my best friend and if anything happened I would have wanted her support anyway. It depends on your family dynamics if you want everyone to know that she knew first-- no one in my family was upset that I told her before them (at least they didn't say so). I told her several days after we found out, and told the rest of the immediate families around 8/9 weeks. We didn't start telling friends really until 12+ weeks.
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What we did was tell our parents/siblings/close friends as soon as we found out, but swore them to secrecy until we announced after our first appointment at 10 weeks. I wanted them to know just in case the baby didn't make it, since those were the people who we would lean on.
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Thanks guys!
lots to think about...
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Tell who you want and ask that they don't share. Hopefully they won't. We still haven't told my in laws and we are past 12 weeks.
So excited for you!
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