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My hubby wasn't that bad, but I don't think the course was totally out of line. I have a friend with a husband who barely helps her do anything. They have some issues, obviously, but I think maybe some dads do need a reminder from a 3rd party ...

@MegWag: luckily my DH would not need those reminders! He already helps out lots and I'm not pregnant!! I do think it's a little patronizing but at the same time I wonder if they are doing it because of past experience with clueless dads? Maybe we're lucky with our nice, supportive, smart husbands?

I agree with you, and think many of the baby books and classes like that are fairly offensive towards men. I don’t think most men are that completely clueless. It’s not 1954 anymore – I think most men and women are willing (and able) to help cook and clean and generally care for themselves, especially if they have lived on their own prior to marriage/baby. My husband likes to cook and clean, which I wouldn’t expect from every partner (male or female), but I think even if you don’t like it, you know it needs to be done.

It depends on the guy.. some guys that havent been exposed to a newborn baby are very clueless, and I do know a guy who doesnt know how to operate a washing machine.

It sounds like it should have been presented better but I think some of that stuff needs to be said.

I tried to overdo it after birth, and ended up retearing (no fault of my husband, I'm just hyper) but reiterating both to mothers and fathers that the mom just went through a big thing and needs recovery time is important. I think a lot of times people only see the baby after birth and forget how much healing the momma has to do - I forgot a bit even though it was my body.

On the 2nd point I think sometimes couples split duties so its prob worth reminding them to learn anything they dont know.

On the 3rd point a lot of dads seem to think they need to be sidelined, especially if the mom is breastfeeding. A crying baby can mean hungry baby, especially at first so I think even if they start with a go get em attitude it can be defeating that baby always wants moms boobies. We watched a couple of our friends go through this (and they weren't 1950s like at all) and my husband didn't want it to happen to us so we talked about stuff he could do with newborn a lot beforehand.

@MegWag: I feel like they'd rather be safe then sorry. Just in case someone doesn't know those things, they have to inform you. Better to do that then have someone who doesn't know and then would never learn.

Well yes, some guys really are that dumb. In my opinion. And in my case. Those lessons were well received by my husband in our birthing classes. He really did need me to show him how to use our dishwasher. And really was unaware that I would potentially be super emotional after the birth. It worked out fine, he found his place quickly but sometimes they do need such simple instructions.