I keep going back and forth over if I should have a third child or not. I have two boys who are 2 and 4 years old, and life is good right now. They both sleep through the night, they play together well, and I am comfortable taking them places by myself. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a daughter, and I know I can't guarantee I would get one, but I also think two kids seems like a small family. I imagine holidays and family gatherings, and everything seems more fun with more people. But I can't bring myself to commit to TTC, because I'm nervous that I'll throw my life into chaos and I won't be able to juggle the needs of three kids and their different schedules. I am someone who likes to feel in control, and I also appreciate having alone time and quiet, so I'm not sure having three kids is compatible with that. I can't tell if I really want another child or if I'm just romanticizing large families. Has anyone felt similarly? What did you end up doing?