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I didn't, but my sister had severe anxiety during her pregnancy with my nephew. The doctor put her on meds and it helped.

I'm really struggling this pregnancy. I think it is a mixture of personal crap going on, pregnancy hormones, and settling into a new life routine. But I feel like crying a lot, I have little to no self worth, I'm just in a bad place. I haven't talked to my OB/GYN yet, but I think I will with my next appointment (next week). I'm worried that this depression will turn into PPD, and I want to be proactive.

@ladybee: There are many meds that are safe during pregnancy (especially at this stage). Your DH should understand that your depression presents a very real health issue for both you and your baby and needs to be proactively managed. I hope you're able to get into treatment soon.

I'm sure medication isn't a bad idea and once known a few women who have taken SSRIs and anxiety meds throughout their pregnancies.
I wonder if it wouldn't be more valuable for you or at least a good adjunct to do some talk therapy and really work through with an unbiased therapist why your gender disappointment is so strong and tenacious, and why you are feeling so down at this stage.
good luck!

Thinking of you. I have been on Zoloft my entire pregnancy with support of my OB and psychiatrist. A healthy mama is the most important thing for both your children.

I don't have depression but I have taken an awful lot of class C medication during pregnancy to keep me from being very ill, so I understand the decision that you're making. I am firmly in the camp that it is imperative that you take care of yourself when you're pregnant. In your situation, I would take the medication without hesitation.

Somehow I've missed your threads here. Just want to send you more love. The way you are feeling is normal and okay! People just are often afraid to talk about it. The extent to which you are struggling is more of the issue to me - not that you have the feelings at all.

I'm glad you are getting some support, though. It's likely that your depression is magnifying your feelings about the baby and the fact that you can see that and reached out for help is an awesome step.

@ladybee: How are you doing? Have you gotten an appointment scheduled yet?

I was thinking about you this morning and thinking that talking to someone is likely to help in addition to meds. There is a concept called the "psychological tasks of pregnancy" that include coming to terms with the pregnancy, accepting the baby, and grieving the loss of the ideal/imagined baby. It is okay to think of it as a loss--anything from gender disappointment to I wanted a little boy who would have my eyes or whatever. I think having someone to talk through those ideas with in a non judgmental way would really help.

Take care of yourself!

@ladybee: I'll wall you.

I'm so sorry. I went through this. I didn't want to be pregnant anymore, I just wanted to run and/or never get out of bed. It was a constant circle of not doing anything to get to a better place because I felt like shit, then feeling Whittier because of it. And it made no sense because it had been a very wanted pregnancy (although I too grappled with gender disappointment.) I went on Zoloft, and it helped so much. My husband just wanted me to get better and totally trusted the doctors, I imagine this is so much harder feeling like he doesn't approve of mess that would likely help. I would tell him you really need him at the appointment. Bring him in at the end and the doctor can explain that the mess are considered safe/low-risk, and that the stress depression is doing to you and the baby is far more dangerous than the medication is.

I hope you're feeling better soon. Sending lots of hugs your way.

@ladybee: You are very brave for being honest about your struggles, both with depression/gender disappointment. I think dealing with the depression on a chemical level will help you come to terms with your pregnancy in a much healthier way. My old therapist used the analogy of medication for depression/anxiety being like turning the volume down on life. I hope that is what the medication does for you.

Just wanted to pop in to offer my support. I didn't have any issues with my first pregnancy, but, with this pregnancy it's been completely different in terms of my own mental health. My anxiety and depression finally got to the point that my husband insisted I bring it up to the OB during my next appointment. I put it off for weeks and weeks. I'm actually a mental health worker and I assess individuals who are having thoughts of self-harm and suicide nearly every day, so when I started having those thoughts, I knew I needed to bring it up. So I did and I felt so dismissed. I guess I didn't know what I expected the doctor to say - I wasn't open to medication just on a personal basis unless it were to get worse and I wasn't open to therapy because I *know* the majority of the therapists in this area since I work with them. But the doctor basically just told me to "stop trying to be super woman" and not to worry so much. And I sat there, dumbfounded. I think my OB office needs some training in this area. I just told him I wanted to bring it up in case it were to develop into PPD after delivery. And he was like "Okay, you let us know if that happens." Eye roll.

Things have been getting better for me as the weeks go on though, so I'm hoping it balances itself out. I hope you are able to start feeling better soon