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As someone who has extracurriculars during the week, I think a week or two off is reasonable. Or a month, depending on recovery. And of course, its a two way street! He gets a night off a week to blow off steam (which will make him a better parent...I know that playing softball once a week refreshes me and I come home not feeling burnt out) and he returns the favor for you-grabs the kids for a few hours so you can nap or take a bath or whatever if you can't leave the kids yet. I would just see how it goes, though. A guy on our softball team's wife just had their second baby and he was back on week 2. I had lunch with her and she's managing just great!

My DH volunteers at a few places on the weekends. But he always schedules it during LO's naps so he's mainly only gone when she's sleeping. Could you ask him to try take lessons during your toddler's naps so at least you'll only have to deal with the newborn?

I would try to talk it through with him. My DH's extracurricular was his work softball league. He loves that thing, and it's a chance for him to hang out with his work friends. LO was born in the beginning of the season, so we decided to take it game by game. It worked because I felt like I had his support when I needed it, and he didn't feel like I was robbing him of his one regularly scheduled "fun" activity.

Talk it over and let him know how you feel. Maybe he can take a few weeks off and then resume some activities.

My DH works late a lot so I'm alone with the two kids, but I suppose that is different. I don't feel like he is out there having "fun" although he frequently goes to fun wine and dine activities through work so maybe that counts.

Will your DH be taking off time from work after #2, and will you have other help besides your DH?

We're having #2 in October, and we are both keeping our older LO in daycare after #2, and DH will take off 2-3 weeks after #2 is born. Plus my mother lives 45 minutes away and is great so she will be around a lot. So I'll be fine if DH wants to run out and exercise or see friends or do whatever because either he'll be around the rest of the day for a few weeks, or because my mom will be there- plus, I won't have a toddler around to distract as well! If that weren't the case, I'd probably tell DH he needed to cut out the weekday extracurriculars for at least a month, and I'd tell him he could do what he wants with a few hours on the weekends especially around toddler naptime, like Artbee's husband does. I'm sorry, but it is exhausting and draining having a newborn all day- once DH went back to work, I used to count the minutes till he'd be back and could give me a break. I can't really imagine that with another kid to entertain. I think everyone needs decompression time, but I think it's also totally reasonable to ask DH to reschedule that time to be more conducive to helping with the kids, even if that means he gives up lessons and instead finds a friend to play with on weekends or when kids are sleeping.