DH came to a few appointments with me (the first one, an ultrasound or two). But with this one, I just made a bunch of appointments without even thinking of his schedule. I have the NT scan next week, but it's when he usually drops DD off at day care. I'm fine going on my own, but wonder what everyone else did?
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He came to the first 2 appointments, and all of the ultrasounds except the last one (but my mom was there). He went to all of my appointments with #1, and I think he feels a bit of "been there, done that" about #2. Which is fine with me.
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With #2 he came to the "important ones." It was a super busy work time for him,. so when he couldn't make it and I felt like I needed someone with me my mom filled in. The first baby he was at almost every single appointment, but I didn't think it was necessary the second round, I was a lot more comfortable.
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He came to one or two in the beginning? He couldn't even come to the 20 week scan because our daughter was sick and one of us had to stay home with her...and it couldn't be me!
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He came to the first appointment/dating ultrasound and the anatomy scan. He'll come to one of the last appointments, too, when it's time to discuss birth plans and delivery details. He's probably not even coming to the fetal echo that I have to get because of D's history (ASD). I'm totally fine with that.
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With #3 he is coming to ultrasounds and ones we feel are important. Same with pregnancy #1 and #2.
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Just the early ones and then the important ones. But I was also going every week for progesterone shots so that would have been too much for his schedule....
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We're only a little ways in, but so far, we're only planning for him to go to the ultrasound appointments. I just had my first midwife appointment and didn't even consider having him come along. He went to many of the early ones for LO1, but midway through, I started going alone and that was fine.
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He came to almost every one with our first....he's only been to one this time, which is totally fine with me. For me, the pregnancy part is easy - it's the newborn stage where I really need him!
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He's been to all but one, which is a lot- been going every 2 weeks since I found out. But it's a high risk pregnancy and we lost our last baby at 23 weeks, so it's been highly stressful and emotional for both of us. I think he wants to be there in case something happens.
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He was at my first appointment, the NT scan (first part) and one other U/S later in the pregnancy. The last one was because I wanted our older daughter to see the U/S and I needed him to supervise her.
And with our first, I think he missed one or two because of being out of town. His job situation was more flexible the first time around as well.
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He came to the first few and NT scan. My anatomy scan is in Fri and he tried to get off from work but can't.
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My DH has one day off a week and LO1 is in daycare that day so he came to most appointments. It was nice to have some grownup time. If he had to take time off work it would have just been ultrasounds or important appointments. As it was he missed an urgent growth scan and a few appointments -- and almost the birth.
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He has only been to the anatomy scan so far when we found out the sex of the baby, but will probably go to one more at least before the c section.
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He's gone to less with each pregnancy. He met my OBGYN at the hospital with my third, and I highly doubt he'll come to any with this one too (meet the obgyn at the hospital!)
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He came to all of my appointments with #1, just the ultrasounds for #2, and not a single one yet for #3 (I'm 26 weeks.)
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He went to most of the appointments for LO 1, the big ones for LO 2 and two for LO 3.
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For LO 1 he came to most of them, with LO2 he really only was able to make it to the first apt, the ultrasound, and my 40w apt
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DH went to all the appts for DS, but will only be able to make the appts for DD if there's an ultrasound. He started a new job and doesn't have any time off yet.
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I'm not pregnant with #2 yet but I have a feeling he will probably just go to the anatomy scan and maybe the first one. With our first he went to a couple random appointments but he couldn't even go to the anatomy scan because of work. I'm hoping he gets to go this next time!
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For #1 he was there for all my appts.
For #2 He was there for my appts w scans, dating at 7w, nt scan at 12w and anatomy at 19w.
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Other - I was high risk so he ended up coming to a few important/ concerning ultrasounds. Otherwise, didn't come to any appointments. But he can't take middle of the day time off work usually unless it's an emergency.
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He went to the important ones like the 1st one and anatomy scan. It's hard to come to all with his schedule. Toward the end I had weekly ultrasounds - he might have made one of those.
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At our 1st appointment with DS2, the doctor asked if we were considering getting my tubes tied. My husband was surprised she was asking at the very 1st appointment. She said dads don't come to as many appointments with the 2nd kid, so she puts it out there early for discussion. After reading through these responses, I see how right she is!
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Just the 2 ultrasounds. With our first he only came to the first one (which was very boring) and the ultrasounds anyway.
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For my first pregnancy, he attended the first one and the 20 week ultrasound. I did the rest by myself. For my second pregnancy, I did them all by myself. He was supposed to go to the 20 week ultrasound, but couldn't make it work with work. I had a much better tech this time, so I had tons of pics to show him LO #2.
One of my pregnancy books said that you develop a relationship with your doctor during checkups because you see them so much. I felt this way with the appointments, so it made it better that DH wasn't there for all of them. I would always text him updates. When I had to go to triage, he took care of LO #1.
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DH went to all my appointments with LO#1 (like even the ones near the end that were weekly), we didn't know that was weird till my OB commented on it once.
The second time around he went to almost no appointments but this time around we are busier with a toddler and different work demands.
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For LO1 he went to all ultrasounds. For LO2 he has come to the dating, anatomy, and 32 week growth ultrasounds (the 32 week scan was silly for him to come to but I think he felt like he had not been to much so wanted to come anyway).
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For LO 1 he went to all ultrasounds(2) and all but 2 appointments.
For LO 2 he went to all ultrasounds(4) and only 2 appointments(the first one and the one we chose my c-section date)
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He will probably only make it to ultrasounds this time. His office is much further away now so it doesn't make sense for the checks in between. Ultrasounds are a non negotiable though because I want him there because i never want to get bad news alone.
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He went to all of them for both pregnancies.
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For LO 1, he was at almost every apt. For LO 2, he's made it to 0, and I doubt he'll be at any of the remaining ones I have left (currently 30 weeks), but I'm fine with that and it doesn't bother me. He started a new job and is trying to conserve all his time for when the baby is actually here.
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For LO1 he went to most appointments. For LO2 he went to the ultrasounds and maybe 1 or 2 random appointments. I can actually only think of 1 and it was my 40 week appointment when I was already in labor.
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He came all but one for #1. So far he's been to all of them for #2, 20 weeks now. He has questions for the doctor usually. He doesn't do the kind of research that I do and likes to hear advice directly from the doctor.
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Just my anatomy scan. With #1 he came for all the ultrasounds for the first half.
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he came to all of them in the beginning with DD1 and then after 6 months, none because he was in school FT OOT.
he's come to 2 appts with me for DD2 and i'm 36 weeks. his work schedule is set, but i just do it for my schedule and he comes if he can. i've had pretty routine pregnancies each time, so regular appts feel like a waste of time to me too! no need for him to go too.
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Yep, pretty much all of them (except for the weekly check-ups at the end where all they did was weigh me and take my blood pressure), for both #2 and #3. I just made them for times he was off work.
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We have only had one appt for this pregnancy, but he came to that and we have another next week which he will come to. I would never do an ultrasound without him! I think he wants to come to most appts at the moment, especially as we haven't yet had a chance to hear a heartbeat. I think he doesn't want to miss out and I get that
With my other two pregnancies, my ex husband only came to ultrasounds. So having someone so involved is really lovely for me!
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He came to the first appointment, the ultrasound and the last appointment. He only came to the last appointment because he was off work and I was already in active labour.
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For both pregnancies he came to the first one and the 20w scan. I didn't see the point of him being there for me to pee in a cup and get weighed.
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43 comments