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Sooo different! He was raised in a VERY strict two parent home. I was raised in a single parent home (some of the time my mom had a SO living with her). It was pretty much fend for yourself and do what you want when you want.

SHUDDER. That's all I have to say about that.

@mrbee: I do love her and our relationship improves with each passing year. But... SHUDDER.

Oh my we would be so different! My husband was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Boarding schools abroad, private planes to travel and trust fund included. I shared a room with my sister and we drove an old station wagon because that's what we could afford. My husband is very hardworking because he wanted to make his own success and money. I was very ambitious because I wanted all the things I never had and my parents taught me to work for it. I cannot imagine what we would be like if we had been switched!

Definitely!
I was raised by just my mom, and he was in a two parent family. My mom wasn't as strict as his. My family (in my opinion) shows love a lot more easily than his. My extended family is very close, his is not (so on holidays we were always and still are surrounded by cousins and aunts).

Yes, absolutely!
Morally, we would be the same. We would have similar family values and be hard-working (part of why we're married, in the grand scheme of things)...mentally that's just a scary thought because while my husband was raised well, he always walked on eggshells and couldn't be himself. If he were raised by my family, he would learn what crazy and dysfunctional meant, but he would have been able to speak his mind.

What a great question! I think I would be the same in some ways... I turned out more like my DH's family in a few things than my own family. For example, I am politically and personally more liberal and open-minded than my family, and I am pretty non-religious like DH's family and unlike my family.

I'm certainly no expert on nature vs. nurture, but I think the commonalities I share with my parents I would probably share even if I wasn't raised with them. Some of their traits I don't love (I'm hyper-emotional, disorganized, etc.) but I can't shake 'em... so I chalk that up to biology! Who knows, though. Maybe if my ILs had raised me, I'd always be on time and never cry!

OH YES. His Dad was military strict with his kids. His Mom stayed at home and was the nurturing one. She has a lot of empathy that my husband got. My Dad was a traveling salesman and then worked from a different state while I was growing up. Mom was kind but strict and Dad was the fun one. I don't think I could be friends with dh's parents like I am with mine if his were mine growing up. I'm not knocking his folks but, I'm so glad I had the parents I did.

We had totally different upbringings! DH grew up with a single Mom, but was socialized through day cares and church groups so he is a lot more outgoing. I grew up with a SAHM who had little interests outside of the home and as a result I am much more introverted and have social anxiety. The thing I love most about DH is his personality, how he can strike up a conversation with anyone on the planet with no problem and he has people rolling on the ground laughing within seconds. I think my personality is a nice balance, because I am quieter and nurturing but have a great sense of humor.

I would be a totally different person because my in laws aren't even DH's parents. He was taken away from his birth mother when he was really little and then adopted. We have very different life stories, neither of which are the greatest.