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Everyone just expected I would go back to work. My inlaws hoped I would stay home but it just wasn't possible.

All of the above! Those who returned to work expected me to return (and I did), and those who stayed home expected me to stay home or at least go part time. I am still considering the part time option . . .

My husband and family expect me to back to work. My coworker who had a baby last year is encouraging me to take off as much time as possible. Not quite SAHM forever, but at least the first year.

Definitely regional and somewhat cultural. I definitely grew up in a "culture" of SAHM, and homeschooling families. SAHM has always been the norm here. At least until the kids are in school. It was definitely expected that I stay home.

I have just started working now, DS is a year old and I think there was some initial opposition and hesitation from family but seeing as I'm only working part time, they have come to accept that it's my decision what is best for my family and this IS best for us.

Expectations are hard... I'm not exactly a people pleaser but I do hate conflict and doing anything to cause a rift. It was a hard decision because I was taking not only my family's needs into concern but how my extended family might react. Thankfully they came through and have been supportive

Most people ask what my plans are after I have the baby. OR, at work, they ask how long I'm taking off. I've made it very clear I'm coming back, which is the norm for our profession.

I did have a lady at the hair salon ask me the other day if I work. It sort of took me off guard, I guess!

It was expected that I go back to work (which I did.) I would have loved to stay home but it just wasn't an option for us at this time.

Everyone expected me to SAH. I've always planned to be a SAHM and I have never been hesitant to mention it to anyone. I did stay home and I'm loving it!

Pretty much everyone expected me to return to work. I worked hard to build my career and enjoy my job/the work I do; so I wanted to return to work. I am transitioning to working from home at least 1 day a week, which is pretty much my ideal situation!

PSA - be careful about "leaving your options open until your disability runs out", or taking leave when/if you don't plan to return. Many companies have provisions in their leave policies that if you do not return to work at the end of your leave, you are liable to repay the benefits the company paid out on your behalf during your leave. Just make sure your company doesn't have this provision before taking leave without the intention to return.

People just expected me to work. But I live in an area with a lot of high earning dual income families, so maybe that's why?

A lot of people have asked if I will be a SAHM, and I'd love to, but we get health benefits through me so that's a huge driving factor for me to go back to work. Plus with the cost of daycare, I have to continue working. =(

I don't think anyone expected me to stay home, so the fact that I went back to work was no surprise to anyone. I grew up with SAHMs, and I'm sure some of my high school classmates stay at home with their kids, but I don't think any of my college or grad school friends have stayed home, and it's very rare among our friends here in DC.

A few people have asked me if I'm going to stay home or return to work, but it didn't seem like they had an expectation either way. Since I'm delivering over the summer, I'll get almost 5 months off, which makes me feel better about definitely returning.

And then when I do return, I'll have to make it through 7 months of work before summer break again (but Winter break and Spring break will be in there), so I'm hoping that will give me enough time with LO to feel good about being at work. I think I'm the kind of person that will feel really stir crazy at home full time (I hate cleaning and am not particularly into cooking), so I think my job gives me a good balance.

@rahlyrah: awww....is he dead set against it for financial reasons, or because he doesn't want to shoulder the financial burdens alone? I guess I understand either way....it
s difficult for guys to be the only one to bring in $$ to the family--a lot of pressure.

Having said that, if we lived in a cheaper area, I think DH would be thrilled if I would SAH for a year or two. I already told him that when we have our second, I will (no point in spending $4000 a month on daycare for two!).

i don't think majority of people were surprised that i went back to work after #1. it wasn't what i wanted, but i knew for our family it was best if i worked. however, for #2(due in August) i think people will be surprised when i SAH. we just don't see how it will work. 2 in daycare would be my paycheck and althought i work from home now 3 days a week, it will be very, very difficult with a 18 month old and a 3 month old(how old they'd be when i'd go back, if i was going back)

We're surrounded by a big SAHM culture, but its not necessarily the norm in my job field so I have a mix of the two. I got majorly guilt tripped by a friend who told me its "God's plan" that a husband works and the wife stays home with the kids and runs the house, and that our marriage will suffer after our kids are born. It really really hurt my feelings.

I will be part time, but on the higher end of part time hours. I think this is a good balance for our family, although I'd love to pull only 20 hours or so...Just doesn't work out financially for us.

@ralyrah+lozza, my husband also has the same views. Plus, financially, he feels it would be foolish for me stay home! I'm just glad we're on the same page.

Honestly, i was once the only paycheck in the household and it was INCREDIBLY stressful. i would never subject him to that pressure unduly.

People expect that I will go back to work, if I announced I was staying home I think everyone would be shocked. I think the main reason is because I have always been career driven and it's known among our friends and family that I make just as much $ as DH, so it's sort of a no-brainer for us.

The question has almost always been "When are you going back to work?" not "Are you going back to work?"

It's split. My family will expect me to stay home... there are only a couple working moms in my extended family on my mom's side. DH's family will expect me to work, and probably would be surprised if I stayed home, just knowing that DH does not make amazing money. My family is from the South and his is from the Midwest, so I'm sure that has something to do with it, among other things.

Personally, I'd rather stay home and surprise people that way, than surprise people by going back to work. I almost feel like I will let some of my family down, even though I'm sure they would understand.

I think most people would expect me to go back, and that is the norm. I think my parents would like me to be a SAHM - they think that "strangers shouldn't be raising my kids".