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Well, I know my own qualms with my MIL coming over comes directly from the issues we had early on in our relationship.... she didn't really accept DH dating much less getting married. lol On the flip side DH loves my mom & hasn't had any issues with her.

I hope that by me being more like my mom when it comes to DS's future SO that I'll be exempt! lol

I hope I'll be a better MIL than what I ended up with. Also, I'd like to be friends with my future DIL. Either way, I completely understand not wanting people around right after the baby comes. I hope I'll remember that too!

@Anagram: I'm sure by the way they sound they'll be helpful and considering how your MIL wanted to be sure you were okay with it that she'll probably respect your boundaries. =)

I hadn't really thought about it was much but I definitely hope DD's SO likes me as well.... I know the norm is that the DH doesn't get along with the MIL as well but seeing how my mom loves DH I hope I'll get to have the same with all our kids SOs.

This is why I work so hard to make Mr Jacks' family feel very welcome. They are wonderful people and I want them to have a great relationship with their son and grand kids. We even moved to a house where they would feel comfortable and we could have longer stays without feeling like it was too close of quarters. I will never be the MIL (unless one of my daughters is in a same sex relationship), but it's just the right thing for the family.

I do think about this a lot... MIL is not very family oriented. She's basically alienated her entire family (very nearly alienated SO) and had a reason why every single one of them is no longer in her life (and let's just say that in her point of view she was never part of the problem in any of the cases). I am very family oriented - family is super important to me and I realize that if I expect my son to grow up family oriented like me, SO's parents will have to be a real part of our lives whether I like it or not (plus, they only live 5 minutes away whereas my family lives 2500 miles away). It will certainly be a challenge because MIL is not the easiest of people to get along with. I don't really believe in karma but I do hope my efforts and acts of kindness towards her will get me some good karma once I become a MIL myself.

I would hope to be warm, loving, respectful, helpful to a future DIL. All the things my MIL is not. Even to her son (DH).

I'd like to think that I'll be a great in-law. My dad's family hasn't been great to my mother, even though they've almost been married 40 years. My ex-MIL was evil, so she shows me exactly what not to do. However, my current MIL is wonderful, and even though I sometimes have a few issues with her, it's easy to tell her and she fixes herself, lol.

My dad had a wonderful mother in law...my mom's mom had 4 sons, and all of her daughters in law and sons in law have nothing but sweet things to say about her. I wanna be like her.

My mom tries really hard with my SIL. A little too hard, though, which is lucky for them they live an 8 hour drive away, lol. She just wants to be way nicer to my brother's wife than my gramma was to her...and she tries really hard with my dh, and he kinda gets a little repelled by it, lol. She's nice, but she's...needy I guess is the best word.

@honeybear: I agree with this so much. My MIL has behaved badly throughout the course of mine and DH's relationship. Her visit during my maternity leave sealed it and made things worse. I also felt like a hostess not a new mom as well.

After everything I've been through I'm determined not to be like her to my son's partner. It's tough enough that my MIL has continued the same MIL experience that my mom had with my grandma. I grew up knowing how she treated my mom. I won't do that to my son and future sibling.

Wow. This thread just made me realize I will be a mother in law aome day and I'm crying.

I love my MIL. She is so sweet and I am very lucky to have her as my MIL. I actually invited her to the birth but she ended up having to watch our other kids so wasn't able to be there. She did come soon after though. On the flip side my mother is a crazy lady and we do not speak to her much. If I can be anything like my MIL I hope that I have a good relationship with my future DIL.

I think about this all the time. I try so hard to put myself in MIL's shoes and treat her how I would want to be treated. I am very thankful that MIL is kind and loving and has welcomed me into the family with open arms. I struggle, though, with being close to her because of the geographic distance. Even though there's Facebook, it's not the same as if MIL and I got to hang out once a month or something. And at times, I feel really awkward because I know things about her son that she doesn't (he hates eggs, for example) and while I'd never throw that in her face, it does come up and she will sometimes pump me for information (DH is a typical man, he never calls to just chitchat).

But as it pertains to her grandson/our son, I want to make sure she is a part of his life by sharing pictures, I bought recordable story books so she can "read" to him, and we plan to make more trips than we have been.

That being said, if she were to try to step on my toes, I wouldn't be very happy. She raised her children, and while I truly believe she did an amazing job, I want to raise my child. And that's sonething I hope I remember when I'm the grandma.

ETA: the plan is for MIL to come when he's a few weeks old. It'll give us a chance to get home and get settled before having a long-term guest (my mom lives 3 hours away and will drive in for a weekend but not stay 2 weeks). I would feel very self-conscious about a dirty house and not preparing meals for MIL and want to feel as though I have a handle on breastfeeding before she comes to visit. She will stay probably 2 weeks. That's a lot for me to take on (DH already said he will be at work while she's here) and I don't feel bad for asking her to wait a couple of weeks when it's going to be such a long visit.