I wish I could say I was happy as could be to be having our third girl. I found out yesterday with the NIPT. She’s healthy with no chromosomal abnormalities, so that’s reason to celebrate!! But, this is our last baby and I’ve always wanted a boy. I hate that I feel sad. I know that once she’s here, it won’t even matter. What makes it worse is that my 4 YO and my mom are also disappointed. Have you been there? How and when were you able to get past it? 
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@CatchAFallingStar: I don't have a lot of insights here but just wanted to send a huge CONGRATS! So glad to hear the pregnancy is going well. And in all respect, your mom should share her disappointment with someone besides you, like what's saying that to you going to achieve.... I will have one of each, I can see the advantages of getting to experience both a boy and a girl, but it is a tad sad that my kids won't have a same sex sibling (I always wanted a sister). But not like I can do anything about it and I already love them both to death so 🤷♀️ Hope you feel better soon, hormones are also a beast when it comes to this stuff...
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It's totally ok to have gender disappointment. I think you and your 4yo can walk through that together; maybe each day pick something you're excited for. As for your mom, I hope she doesn't burden you with her disappointment too. And yes; once she is here, it won't matter We're having a 3rd child and 1st boy; I actually wanted another girl but I honestly don't care now. Being older, and having so much anxiety that I've had two relatively healthy pregnancies and two healthy girls, I honestly just want this 3rd time to go well and have a healthy baby without complications.
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I have a three girls. I TOTALLY feel for you! In all honesty, for me the gender disappointment didn't necessarily go away--it evolved maybe? I love my third little girl, and she is so perfect for our family! But that 'idea' of a son was very real in my head, so I have moments where I still mourn for my non-existent son, especially right now since we finally scheduled a vasectomy. *hugs* I promise it definitely gets better very quickly though. I cried for 3 days after my anatomy ultrasound, and once I got that out, I was ready to celebrate my little girl.
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FWIW - I am one of 3 sisters - and I love having sisters/best friends. My dad coached our sports teams and created big college sports fans in us.
But - your emotions are your emotions, feel and embrace them,no needto deny them. Once the baby comes, I'm sure you will just be so in love with your newest family member -
I'm not sure if this is helpful, but I have 2 boys and would be totally fine if #3 were a boy too, even though I also really want to experience a girl. My reasons are:
1) I don't have to buy or learn anything new
2) I grew up with 2 brothers and it was really awkward being the odd one out. My parents probably handled it poorly but because my brothers were into similar things, their preferences always won out over mine. Sure, the same thing can happen regardless of the sex of your kids, but its just something that really frustrated me as a kid so I wouldn't mind not having to worry about repeating that. -
I was disappointed when I found out our third (and last) was a boy. We did a little gender reveal and I cried after everyone left. It wasn't really disappointment at having another boy (I LOVE having boys) but rather disappointment because I knew it was our last baby and I would never get to have the experience of having or raising a girl. I let myself feel sad for a few days and as time went on, I got over it. I picked a nursery theme that was really fun and that DH wouldn't have otherwise approved (Harry Potter) and it helped get me out of my funk. Let yourself feel your feelings and you'll be less disappointed as time goes on.
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Ohhhh I'm sorry. I absolutely understand. It's totally normal to feel like this, do not feel guilty! I have two boys and I always, always pictured myself having a little girl. I cried so hard when I found out I was having DS2. I felt sad for days. But I did get over it though I will always miss the chance of having a little girl.
Just what LadyDi said. -
Thank you for all of these thoughtful responses. I’m already starting to feel more excited and less disappointed.
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@CatchAFallingStar: I have one sister and two brothers. While I would feel awful saying I would trade one of them in for another sister...I just might. I love having a sister. It has been such a blessing and the idea of three little girls is just so darn precious. To be honest, I have a boy and a girl and I feel sad that they might not experience that close bond with each other (I could be wrong, it's only gender anyway!) I agree with everyone else: allow your self to be sad, maybe even to wallow, and then allow yourself to get excited.
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Is it weird that my 2 oldest are girls and I was upset that LO3 was a boy? I wouldn't even give up the girly baby clothes until he was born, okay, they're still in our garage. I absolutely adore him and am glad we have a boy, but it's been 4 weeks and I still call him a girl half the time (or by my youngest daughter's name when breastfeeding, whoops, she was weaned 8 months ago!). I had just been so happy being a girl mom, and loved that they could reuse all the same clothes, etc, and had such a great bond. Things will be great with a brother too, but just wanted to show the other side of the coin!
ETA: It was especially annoying when people would act SO excited when we said we were having a boy, like having a girl would have been a disappointment and having a boy was the only reason to have another baby. When we went for a 3rd we assumed it would be a girl and I was disappointed! So I would tell people I had been hoping for a girl but we just wanted a healthy baby and they always got confused.
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@CatchAFallingStar: Not exactly the same since we knew we were only having one but either way I wasn’t going to “get to” raise one of each sex! Haha. I will say though, my son shares my interests - it’s what he’s been exposed to. He’s not a basketball T-shirt, gym short wearing superhero playing legos as stereotypes might suggest. He loves kittens and coloring and soft blankets haha. This is all just to say that your little baby girl may turn out totally different than the stereotype for female children and it wont matter at all that you’re not technically raising both sexes!
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I'm pregnant with #3 and I've weirdly been a little disappointed every single time. With my first, I had really hoped for a girl and got a boy. With my second, I had a bigger age gap than I wanted and hoped that if I two of the same gender (i.e. another boy), they would be able to play together and have similar interests. I got a girl. Now that I've been enjoying all the cute girl clothes for the last couple years, I was really hoping for a girl. I found out a few weeks ago I'm expecting a second boy. I know from past experience that I got over the "disappointment" quickly and I couldn't imagine life without them. It's just funny that I've been "wrong" 3 out of 3 times!
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I'm the oldest of 3 girls and it's honestly the BEST THING EVER! I have built in best friends for life. I have one boy and one girl and it makes me so sad that my daughter will never have a sister like I do. Congrats!
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