We've been TTC since last summer and I am really grateful to be pregnant, I really, really am, but I just feel in such a negative mood about everything and can't seem to escape it. I'm not sure if it's the constant nausea, the exhaustion, messed up hormones, or some combination. I'm only 7+2 so there's not really an end in sight. I've had two losses and no viable pregnancies, so I think I have a hard time grasping that first trimester is temporary and could ultimately lead to a good outcome... I do exercise a bit every morning, but not sure what else, if anything, to do to pull myself out of the funk. Or if I should just embrace it and remind myself that it's temporary...
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I had a hard time in the first trimester. I recommend staying busy in whatever fashion gives your relief and really emphasize self-care. The following are options:
Exercise (endorphins make you happy)
Manicure/pedicure
Massage
Therapy/counseling
Take on more responsibility at work
Community service or church involvement
Go to the movies
Deep clean your house
Spend time with family/friends
Dates with husband/partnerIt's a tough time, my heart is with you.
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I say embrace it. I feel terrible in the first tri (for all my pregnancies even losses) and it's mostly about survival for me and getting through those days. It's frustrating re-starting the first tri, over and over but the today i'm pregnant saying helped a bit for me. Nothing really gets rid of the nervousness or the fear, but fingers crossed this time is the one!
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I also think you should embrace it. Do what you need to do to get through the day. Take care of yourself and remember that it's only temporary.
There will be other times you will feel like you're in a funk... the endless waiting of the last month of pregnancy, the exhausting first few weeks as a new mama, etc. It's all about *trying* to enjoy each day as it comes and also looking forward to what's ahead.I don't know if I typed this out how I actually meant it, but hang in there and you WILL feel good again!
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Agree with above probably have to ride it out ... if part of it is related to fear from losses, I wouldn't hesitate to call and say you're feeling anxious given history and it's affecting your day to day and can you schedule a scan. Worst they can say is no.
Mostly just hugs
I felt negative my whole last pregnancy until the loss (even though I was not getting bad news yet) and it sucked. I watched a lot of foreign dramas on Netflix to wallow!
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I'm in it too. For me, its just survival mode. If it means I lay down at 2 pm on a saturday, I do it. If I feel like eating frozen waffles for breakfast lunch and dinner, I do it. If I need to say no to things for my sanity, I do it. Just be kind to yourself. I've experienced loss before, so I just gut it out the first tri and hope for the best.
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@mrsjd: Yeah, it's kind of counterintuitive because I just want to lie around but ultimately staying busy can be a great distraction...
@Littlebit7: I hope you feel better soon.
I'm working at home today after having to make a cross country trip for work earlier this week, and just ordered a bunch of mac & cheese and miso soup through grocery delivery because, yeah, survival... @Banana330: @mrskansas: @bhbee: Thanks
I know I just need to get through each day and have faith that at some point positive stuff will start to come out of the whole TTC process. At this point the physical misery is most consuming and I don't feel like I have much energy left to worry about whether things are progressing as they should, which is probably a good thing.
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@periwinklebee: I felt horrible in my first tri and i didnt have any prior losses. It is a hard time for many moms with all the hormones, just take it a day at a time, you will definitely feel better in a few weeks
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@periwinklebee: I get that while pregnant in the first tri and it ended around 13 weeks for me last time. This time it wasn't gone until 24/25 because I was worried about some stuff with the baby and waiting on appointments and ultrasounds. I just went with it and knew eventually I'd come out of it and this is how I do pregnancy unfortunately. I basically didn't even really talk about the baby until 12 weeks with anyone including my husband (and I did that with my first pregnancy too) and then was okay for a bit until stuff came up at my anatomy scan.
I guess my only advice is throw yourself into other non baby stuff until you're at a point where you feel good about the pregnancy based on weeks/positive ultrasounds, etc. It's different for everyone and I know some people just go through the whole thing happy.
I hope everything is going to work out wonderfully for you this time and that you get to a happy place sooner rather than later.
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I hate being pregnant. And the first trimester is so scary, especially if you've suffered pregnancy loss.
I'd treat yourself to a fun date. My other suggestion probably will apply more once you feel a little less scared, but buying something little (or not so little)- usually baby clothes- always made me feel more excited and less miserable. -
I struggled with this as well. I had just come off of two recurrent losses (so lots of stress and anxiety for the first 20 weeks at least) and also was dealing with some difficult news regarding a friend diagnosed with a terminal illness at and one of my bosses passing away. It was hard to find joy for awhile there. I eventually just eased out of it. We planned a few weekend getaways (with my husband and 4 year old) to just focus on spending time with the family and did lots of fun day trips (berry picking, etc.) to keep busy and distracted. While there are no guarantees in life, I do think hitting some of the big milestones helped me ease into the pregnancy (passing the dates on which the other losses occurred, getting past the first trimester, getting good screening results, etc.). Hang in there!
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Pregnancy is so hard, just remind yourself and your family that it's temporary and give yourself permission to go with every shortcut available-think of it as beta testing for when you have a newborn! With my first I spent a lot of time mocking up baby registries and pinning baby stuff to a secret Pinterest board which was a ton of fun... But I had a loss in between and it wasn't working for me the second time around. This time I've needed to focus on more me related things wherever possible.
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Thanks everyone, these are super helpful suggestions!
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It was hard for me to feel like it was temporary the first time. Even after you have your baby you just don't have the same grasp of "it's just a phase" that you do once you've been there. Add that to nausea and other physical first trimester stuff and hormones and absolutely it can cause a funk. To some degree I had it wth my second and I would say I have it with my third too but less about mood and more about physically feeling gross.
Give yourself a break as much as you can. When you announce your pregnancy people will understand that you weren't feeling well!
If it's worse than a funk or doesn't go away with your other first trimester symptoms check in with your doctor. But mostly I think ask your dh for help at home and take as many breaks as you can!
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@2littlepumpkins: I think a lot of it revolves around constantly feeling miserable, and not feeling like there's an end in sight. Eating is the worst - I know I have to, but I can't find anything that doesn't sound disgusting... tried mac & cheese for lunch which worked before but puked that up. I'm able to keep enough down to stay nourished and hydrated, which I'm grateful for, but I'm so over it... I hope that you start feeling better soon as well.
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@periwinklebee: yeah definitely; I mean people feel in a funk during a stomach bug and the first trimester is months long. It's difficult! I personally think it's one of the hardest times! But I don't do well with nausea, never have been able to handle it well!
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@periwinklebee: agree with the pp's who say to embrace the funk. I basically treated myself the way I do when I have the flu for my entire first trimester: crackers, ginger ale, going to bed at 9pm, saying yes or no to whatever I felt like with zero justification or logic. I also had two losses before my (now 9-month old) baby and was absolutely terrified every day until I had the NT scan at 12 weeks. it's such a hard thing to get through the first tri, but there are *lots* of women on HB who had two consecutive losses and then a successful pregnancy. just remember that every good appointment you have, you get closer
hang in there! and don't feel bad or guilty or ungrateful about feeling like shit. you know and we know that you're grateful to be pregnant; it's still healthy to complain 
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@2littlepumpkins: same here - I knew I would be prone to it b/c I had nausea as a side effect of hormonal birth control, but I wonder if I also just don't deal well. When I start to feel really nauseous, I've been trying to take deep breaths and focus on not tensing up in response, and I think it does help a bit.
@LCTBQE: Thank you
I love your perspective!
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@periwinklebee: No real advice, just feel you. I am 23 weeks and I feel like I've been in kind of a funk this whole pregnancy. During the first trimester it was largely bc I felt like shit. But then after that it was sort of more about the fact that I had a thing I was really dreading (this coming week actually) and it just put a cloud over everything. I have been tired, and I think pregnancy makes me generally more anxious, and I've just had a really hard time getting excited about the pregnancy or looking forward to anything when I felt like I had this cloud looming in the future. Really hoping when this week is done that I'll feel better and start enjoying life more again! I hope you do too soon.
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@Mae: Thanks
I think pregnancy really can color your mood...Good luck making it through the week, I hope it goes by quickly and you feel better soon.
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I hate hate hate pregnancy. And in my second one the nausea was debilitating. It sounds like this is your first? My advice is spoil yourself rotten. Take naps on the weekend or after work, spend hours bingeing on Netflix. Get a few nice massages. Splurge on some books.
Essentially do whatever it is that makes you feel good and feel rested. Things change after the baby and it's hard to be self indulgent. Pregnancy is hard work, emotionally and physically. It's ok to not love it and be anxious. Just try to do what you can to take care of yourself and lift your mood.
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@ShootingStar: I like how you think
it is my first, so I know I should take advantage of the extra time to rest. I have huge admiration for people who manage the nausea while also taking care of a toddler or two.
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I'm so there as well, and so ready for this first trimester crap to be over. Or at least to be able to announce it so I can stop having to HIDE how miserable I am. The only pick-me-up that has made any difference for me is my daily dose of caffeine, plus occasionally stretching the guideline with an extra hit in the afternoon. Long naps on the weekends have become routine but that doesn't help the work week.
Oh yeah, and afternoon walks to go buy something sweet, like, almost every day. Cookies.
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@PawPrints: Having to hide how awful you feel definitely doesn't help. I walked into the office kitchen the other day, and two guys were in there complaining about how having a 24 hour stomach virus was the worst experience of their life. Hah hah - envious - because a) 24 hours and b) it's completely socially acceptable to complain about it loud enough for everyone in the office to hear...
I felt negative my whole last pregnancy until the loss (even though I was not getting bad news yet) and it sucked. I watched a lot of foreign dramas on Netflix to wallow!
it is my first, so I know I should take advantage of the extra time to rest. I have huge admiration for people who manage the nausea while also taking care of a toddler or two.
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