Never posted here, mostly lurked/stalked... but I need to get something off my chest. I feel so.. guilty for these intense feelings, like it makes me a horrible mom. Of course I love my baby like any mom does, but that hasn't made it easier..
I got married young, but my husband is five years older than me and was ready for kids right away so after a year I gave in... but I honestly regret it. I haven't finished college and I never got to have a career, now I have a baby and even though I wanted to be a SAHM, I wouldn't even have the choice if I wanted to work because I wouldn't be able to make enough to put my baby in daycare anyway.
I was putting my baby to bed tonight, and yes I love him to death, but I seriously wish I would have waited to have kids.. lived my life a little. I am soo young and now if I ever get a job I fear I'll feel more guilty for being a working mom because the way I was raised, all moms were SAHM.
Also, because I never worked we didn't accrue a lot for savings before having our baby and don't own a house. If I had finished school and worked for awhile, we could have bought a house and had some financial security. But we don't. I feel sooo awful for feeling this way.
I felt it the whole time I was pregnant, but just assumed it would all go away once I had my baby and saw how much I loved him... well I do love him, but I still feel this way.
Am I a terrible mother? No one even knows this, not even my husband... I couldn't bear to admit this to him now that our baby is actually here. And he's been such a good baby too, I feel I can't even complain.
but know that you are not alone in feelings of guilt or doubt. I waited until I was 28, 4 years of marriage, and relatively established in my career (even though I was laid off at the time!) to have my first baby and I still dealt with guilt and doubt all the time. It's just different situations and all you can do is deal with what's in front of you (that beautiful baby!!!) and do your best at what's been given to you. If you continue to be committed to that, there's no way you can be anything other than a great mom
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