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Handling (excess) pregnancy weight gain with grace

I'm on my third pregnancy now, and I am still struggling with handling pregnancy weight gain. I don't have a problem with the weight gain itself, but each time, I become obsessed with staying within the "recommended" ranges. Problem is, my body wants to gain more, even though my brain doesn't.

With my first pregnancy, it ended at 10 weeks, and I had already gained more than the recommended 5 pounds max for first tri. With my second (LO), I just barely stayed at the very high end of the recommended range for the entirety of my pregnancy, and to do so, I drove myself crazy (eating only salads for lunch, denying my cravings, working out 4 times per week until the end). Right now, I am 8 weeks along and already have gained 5+ pounds and am freaking out.

I have two problems. One is that I had hoped to relax and enjoy this pregnancy (with luck, it will be my last), but I feel like if I don't obsess and stay on top of this, I will gain WAY too much. It doesn't help that I've started each pregnancy at a higher weight either, and losing it is not that easy. The other problem is that I don't want my daughter to see me obsessing and hating my body during this time. As a kid/teen, my mom was constantly calling herself fat and I have issues from that and I don't want LO to see that from me.

Anyone else struggling with these issues? I know the recommended weight gain ranges are there to try to keep us healthy, but sometimes I feel like they make things worse.

  1. Corduroy

    pomelo / 5258 posts

    Hugs! Every body responds to pregnancy a little differently. I think the guidelines are too rigid in that some expect you to follow a certain pattern.

    At every appointment my doctor addressed my weight. I would say 50% of the time I was told I needed to gain more and 50% I was told to gain less. My first pregnancy I saw many doctors and my second I saw just one but the experience was the same. I had a joke with my husband and coworkers about which weight lecture I would receive that day. At one appointment the doctor asked if I wanted to discuss diet and exercise changes I could make since I had gained 3.5 lbs instead of the projected 3lbs since that last appointment. I gave her the hardest eye roll.

    I think in the attempt to promote healthy pregnancies doctors are taking it too far. I think you've got the right plan. Eat healthy things, exercise some, try to be healthy and don't worry too much about the scale.

  2. Foodnerd81

    wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

    @catlady: I am having a much harder time with this on this pregnancy than I did with C. I'm 27 weeks and have gained 26 pounds- last time I gained less than 30 pounds total when I delivered at 40 weeks. I know part of it was definitely me just eating whatever for the first 20 weeks- got into bad habits in the first trimester when I felt terrible, and kept them up even once I felt better. But I've been better since then and am still gaining more than I expect. I'm not obsessing but it's bugging me so much more. The first time I was really at peace with everything, but this time, I don't know. However, I did lose weight between pregnancies and started this one 20 lbs less than my first, so I assume that is part of it.

    So I just wanted to say I understand. But really really don't want my daughter to pick up on it.

  3. Foodnerd81

    wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

    @Corduroy: one thing I really like about my midwife practice is no one has mentioned weight gain one way or the other, even this time as I'm gaining a little more than I should. When I asked about it last month, she gave some recommendations but didn't bring it up herself. I'm sure if it was alarmingly too much or too little they would say something but for normal variations, nothing.

  4. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    Hugs! I actually requested that my doctors not tell me my weight at the appointments and that really helped.

  5. blackbird

    wonderful grape / 20453 posts

    I gain a lot every time. I exercise, I eat healthy, but my body holds onto it. And my OB is always cool with it...but I'm not exactly in denial about how round my face gets, or how much my socks dig into my fatter calves, or how my arms look. Unless I severely restricted calories...*shrug* I gained almost 60 with E and about 50 with T. Knowing that it came off after E (with a LOT of hard work) helped me relax with T and be less anxious and more calm with the PP period than last time. Maybe you need a better game plan for afterwards? If you eat healthy and stay active, that's really about all you CAN do. So focus on what you DO have control over

  6. catlady

    grapefruit / 4988 posts

    @Corduroy: That sounds terrible! At least you were able to joke about it. I am lucky in that last time, my midwife never said a thing about weight (it was really just me obsessing alone). I have a new midwife this time but hopefully she will be the same.

    @simplyfelicity: That's a good suggestion, maybe I will request that. I have a hard time not stepping on our scale at home though.

    @Foodnerd81: Sorry you are going through something similar! At least we are not alone, I guess. That's great that you have a midwife who isn't too crazy about it.

    @blackbird: This is a really good point about having a game plan for post-partum. I will try to remember that I lost it all once and hopefully can do it again.

    Thanks for the advice ladies!

  7. Eko

    nectarine / 2148 posts

    I gained on the higher side with my pregnancy. I gained 5-6 in the first trimester, about 20+ in my second, and around 10 in my third. I gained a total of 40. I was way more conscious of eating in my third trimester after gaining so much in my second. I even exercised the whole time.

    I definitely think you shouldn't obsess with numbers. Also, everyone gains soooo differently. All you can do is try to eat right and if you are doing that then I wouldn't worry about anything else.

    hugs

  8. alphagam84

    persimmon / 1095 posts

    I've gained more than I anticipated but don't worry about it. Your body is just doing what it needs to do. If you're struggling may try speaking with a therapist?

  9. Chuckles

    persimmon / 1494 posts

    I would second what @corduroy: said - everyone's body needs different things in pregnancy! I gained a lot of weight in my first trimester (I don't remember exactly how much, but at least 10 pounds), but it was because I was so hungry all. the. time. And in retrospect, eating a lot probably helped keep my nausea in check. And my weight gain went back to relatively typical for the rest of my pregnancy, so I gained about 45 pounds total (and I was starting at a healthy weight). So my body just happened to gain a lot of weight right away. It was a little frustrating feeling like I got bigger quickly, but I just had to realize that that's what my body wanted to do.

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