So a lot happened at one time a few months ago. My DS (2.5 years old) found out I was pregnant, he got bit at school, and his schedule changed from full to part time day care. Suddenly he started having horrific melt downs at drop off and being nearly impossible to get ready in the morning. This has continued for a little over 2 months. I couldn't figure out which factor was the trigger but I figured it was the new schedule. Well, Wednesday was the worst morning ever. He was freaking out hitting me and having an epic melt down at home and the. At school they had to tear him off of me so I could go. It was heartbreaking. At home, he was saying he wanted to watch Daniel Tiger and not go to school. I realized that there was another change that happened when his schedule changed... He goes later so I let him watch PBS while I shower etc before school. I made a decision. No more morning TV. Yesterday he was home with me and we watched no TV and he did great. Today was the real test since I was bringing him to school. No fit. For the first time in more than 2 months, there were no tears and he just smiled and waved bye bye. Lesson learned. My kid can't watch TV before school. I can't believe it took this long to figure out, LOL. Anyone else find a connection between TV watching and their child's behavior?
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@travellingbee: yep! Although I keep falling back into the trap and let them watch again.
Today was day 1 of no electronics before school - and guess what? We got out of the house w/o tears or yelling!
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Yup! There are certain times that we can't let our 2.5 yr daughter watch or else it'll end up in a meltdown. The morning are bad even on the weekends. And after preschool when she's tired. So we definitely avoid it during those times!! We only let her watch on the weekends before lunch or after nap. Haha otherwise she's moody all day! I'm glad you figured out what's causing your sons bad mornings!! My daughter would def be like that too if she watched in the morn!
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Yes. Epic meltdowns when she becomes too expectant of it. Whenever it happens we don't allow screen time of any kind for a couple days.
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@kodybear: it was like night and day! I thought it was a good way to keep him occupied so I could shower and get ready. Nope! I didn't think it would fix it that quickly but wow!!
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yes definitely! I read an article that said if you start the day with TV it sets the tone for their behavior for the rest of the day and can really mess with their behavior. We were having a similar problem- TV on in the morning so I could get ready easier. We were having lots of meltdowns between the tv going off and going to school. We cut it out completely in the morning and it's like night and day in her behavior. We also cut it down in the evening as well and she only gets 1 30 min show before bed, that's it.
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I fall victim to morning tv because I need to get his brother down for a nap. I find that if I can delay the show until after he is fed, dressed, and ready for the day, it goes much better. He's 3 years, 3 months.
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Yup, my nearly 4 year old is currently on an indefinite screen ban. It has a real impact on her behavior. She still asks every morning and night if she has earned TV back yet and my answer continues to be no. It's hard. TV is an easy crutch for me, but the behavior that comes with it has broken me. I'm a mean mommy who is mad all too often. She screams in rage at me and I need to change both of our behaviors.
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YES!! My DD is 2 and totally addicted to Mickey mouse clubhouse. Since I am off for the summer and pregnant, I let her watch an episode in the morning before breakfast so I can lay in bed a little longer. We had to stop this routine a few weeks ago because she would have have horrible tantrums and beg for minnie all day long! She still watches an episode a day, but now I do it after nap and for whatever reason, the tantrums don't happen. It's almost like if it's first thing in the morning, that's all she can think about all day long. It's too bad...I really liked our lazy summer mornings! Now we take the dog for a walk before breakfast and she is a much more pleasant toddler!
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@brady80: Yes, I agree. Yesterday I let him watch an episode of daniel tiger while I was making dinner and it did not impact his behavior. But in the morning, it made him grumpy and tantrumy all day!!
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Interesting!! We have had a really tough time lately, and Lo does watch a show fairly soon after waking up...maybe I will try switching it up.
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Our only issue with TV seems to be with Daniel Tiger. That tiger has way too many feelings and my son is a drama llama and loves acting out Daniel's constant whining. So no more Daniel, and he's much better. Just TV by itself doesn't seem to affect him much.
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Definitely. We don't watch TV on weekdays for this exact reason. I've noticed a huge impact on all our boys and that's exactly what we made this decision. When we do watch cartoons on saturday and sunday I do notice he has more meltdowns. I'm sure the two are related and that's why we have a pretty strict policy about it.
I do think it really depends on the kids/family/whatever though and it definitely doesn't affect all kids the same!
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I think this will be us! We've gotten into the habit of TV before daycare while I feed T and we take our time, and in a week, I go back, so tv won't be happening. I fully expect a revolution LOL.
She's totally fine with an episode while I make dinner or before bed, though. But that's always been the routine...
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@BananaPancakes: hmmm maybe I don't want to let E watch Daniel then, lol! So far she's only keen on Mickey and bubble guppies
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I've noticed two things:
1. My son picks up random phrases and actions based on the videos he's watching. I have had to deem some things off limits.
2. The real struggle is with time limits. I have to be very concrete about how much he can actually watch, otherwise, it becomes a negotiating game.
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Yup direct correlation to bad behavior here too! I try to limit as much as possible but on afternoons I need to concentrate I will put on a show while the little one is sleeping and I'm guaranteed some sort of whiny or tantrum-y behavior the rest of the day.
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I think setting expectations up front sometimes helps. I know this doesn't work with every toddler, but when I turn on a show for LO, I explicitly tell him that he gets one show. If he tries to negotiate and ask for more, we're firm with him and let him know it's one, and we'll do this specific activity afterwards. If we haven't specified beforehand, that's when it tends to get rough if we say, "this is the last one..."
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Hmm...maybe we should try a screen time ban for a bit. Typically we allow about 1/2 hour of tv/movie before bed. But since we took the front off of his crib, he's getting up on his own and coming into our room while we're getting ready in the morning, so Hubs plops him on our bed and turns on the tv so we can finish getting ready. Now every time he comes into our room, he immediately say, "Can I watch cartoons?" It's become an expectation. And then tv is expected all day long. Anytime there is "downtime" in our schedule, he asks for tv, and when I say no...cue meltdown. So maybe a general tv ban is in order. Or at least a morning ban.
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@2PeasinaPod: I think that would work if the problem was just that LO was always whining for more. For us it isn't necessarily that he freaks out about wanting more although that does happen sometimes, but I think it somehow changes his thinking. Like, he no longer wants to play or go to school or get dressed or follow directions. Even if he just watches one episode. So for him, he just can't watch TV in the morning regardless of amount.
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@BananaPancakes: we have the same problem with DT. DD talks to me if she's sad or mad but then after DT will cross her arms and stomp around and throw a fit.. And it's like the show gives her ideas about stuff she never even realized she should be mad or sad about. I've tried allowing DT a couple times since everyone seems to love him. But it always ends in way too much whining so we don't watch DT either.
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@travellingbee: same! its so weird. i don't know what it is but even if i give her limits, shes just moody the rest of the day. like she doesn't want to do anything, doesn't want to play outside, doesn't want to eat, just kind of whiny the rest of the day. but only if its in the morning. like if we watch after a couple hours of being awake shes fine and in a good mood. there has to be some science to this craziness!
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@blackbird: Some people love that show, and find their kids learn good stuff from it, but my son just seems to keep getting (bad) ideas.
@Maysprout: Same exact thing! I swear he learned to act "frustrated" by DT. I'm sure he would get frustrated before, but he was easy to reason with and calm down. After catching that DT episode several times, he now amplifies his behavior to stomping and growling. Great.
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I SAH, but in my experience we have a terrible day if I let him watch a video in the morning. I can let him watch something late afternoon without it negatively affecting his behavior, but if he watches something in the morning we have meltdowns all day where he demands more screen time.
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@Woolly Mammoth: @kodybear: this really is weird- there must be some science to it!
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@NovBaby1112: Do you have a link to that article? Would love to read it and share it with DH.
I have been wondering this same thing. LO has been acting up a lot and her screen time is definitely more than I would like.
Is the behavior you all encounter that they beg for more TV or just that they generally act up?
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@daniellemybelle: For us, it's wanting to watch tv at every turn. And MAJOR melt-downs when we say no.
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@daniellemybelle: for us it's just general acting up, and melting down
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@daniellemybelle: for us, if we let her watch in the morning, she does ask for more, we tell her what we told her in the beginning "only one" or something like that. sometimes she melts down here, sometimes she doesn't. but either way, the rest of the day is bad because she just doesn't want to do anything and every little thing makes her whine/cry even tho its not related to tv at all. if she watches later in the day, she is usually good about our limits and doesn't melt down when we stop(altho if shes too tired she might, which is why we don't watch too close to nap/bedtime). but the rest of the day isn't affected if she watches later in the day!
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@daniellemybelle: let me try to find it!!
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@daniellemybelle: here it is http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/07/how-to-break-your-toddlers-tv-habit/
If you read th whole thing you will see the part about half way down about TV first thing in the morning. We noticed a difference right away as soon as we cut it out. For us it wasn't tantrums over wanting another show, it was just meltdown after meltdown and not listening at all
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@travellingbee: interesting read!
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@NovBaby1112: Sorry I am just coming back to this! Thanks for sharing. Just what I need as LO is waking up and I haven't showered yet...
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@NovBaby1112: thank you for that article! Could totally be a coincidence as well, but we have waited to do tv in the morning until after LO has eaten and played for a little while for the past 4 days, and his behavior has been better!
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@daniellemybelle: @hilsy85: glad you guys found it helpful! I had no idea about the morning TV time so I was intrigued to see if it would help, and it definitely did.
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Oh man! No bueno! Glad you found the source and all is well again!
DS is 2 and TV doesn't seem to affect his behavior unless we're watching an action/violent movie then he'll mimic it. Eek! So we don't watch them when he's around.
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@hilsy85: Same here! Right now Sadie is playing in the mess that is her playroom - oh, look, and drawing on her hand - but I am holding out on TV in the mornings as best I can! We are headed to the splash pad soon and hopefully that means a long enough nap that I can get things done while she's asleep! #TVdietFTW
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