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I would probably feel obligated to go if she had done all of that to support me:)

I think she really means what she said. I have friends who live far and I've invited them to showers but not expected them to come and told them so. Like, I would really love to see then but I know it would be hard and don't expect it.

So unless you really want to, I would skip it if that's easier. I'd you visit after the baby you'll get more time to talk to her anyway.

Wow. I didn't even know how to respond to your poll. Is this girl your friend, or your husband's friend. (If she's your husband's friend, kudos to you for making her a bridesmaid.) As I was reading your post, I was thinking, yes, you must go. But if you aren't her direct friend (like, do you and her text message and chat amongst yourselves?), then I say its really up to you to interpret her text message. Is she being nice and just giving you an out? Do you think she really wants you there? If you feel comfortable going, just tell her you want to go. Why not have your husband drive and you your baby up there, then he can take the baby and go out with the mom-to-be's husband. Baby showers should be three hours max, anyhow. Let me know what you decide!!! I can interpret the text two different ways depending on the girl.... I hope its just nice and not mean-girl drama.

I'd go. I think she was saying you don't have to go to be polite. If she went to all those events for me, I'd expect to do the same for her. Two hours isn't that far.

She sounds like a really sweet girl who has been incredibly thoughtful all around

I don't think I've been to a single baby shower where there AREN'T LO's there! Maybe that's just how it is around here? But I would say ask if you are worried, but I'd lean towards taking her!