Hellobee Boards

Not at all - I was asked if the date was ok and for a guest list and then told to stay out of it

I don't see any problem with your situation -- it's not like you're being controlling ("I must have THIS food and THIS invitation!") If he's asking for your opinion, I wouldn't feel bad about responding, he probably just needs a little guidance

I showed up. I didn't even know the date until I got the invitation. My MIL and SIL threw it so just asked DH when o was free. My wedding shower was a surprise.

I asked that there not be any pink or any stupid games. I got my wish on the games...

Not at all other than confirming that a date was good and providing a guest list.

I helped pick out the date and come up with the guest list. I wish I was more involved with the food because I had GD and wasn't able to eat very much.

I was in a similar situation as @ms.line (no sisters, mom passed away, and no close female friends in my city), so even though my dad and aunt technically "co-hosted" my shower, I gave them the guest list, picked the date, made the invitations, narrowed down the venue, and helped choose the menu. I didn't mind helping out though.

My mom hosted so I helped with a guest list and since she's admittedly not very crafty/creative, I made sure we had some cute decor and one or two shower games. She took care of the rest - venue, menus, favors, etc.

My involvement for both (one friend and one family) was ok-ing the date and providing a guest list. I just showed up for the work one.

My work surprised me. I didn't do anything! Since we lived far from family, that was my only shower and it was so nice of them!

Like 50/50
My mom at the time was in Washington state so my younger sister manned it, she did a wonderful job!

A dear friend of mine really wanted to throw me a shower. I ended up contributing a lot, both in terms of input and financially. I knew my financial situation was much better than hers (she made it known that she was really struggling), so I paid for things like invitations and a good portion of the food. I even made cupcakes. I absolutely didn't mind though, I felt pretty awkward about having a shower in the first place, and it made me feel slightly less uneasy to contribute.

I don't think it's a big deal. It's not like you told him to host the shower and then planned everything yourself.

But I don't see any problem with them asking you your preference and opinion on ideas they have. Even if you ended up having the final say on everything, I think it's fine. You weren't the one who decided to throw the shower, you didn't make any demands.

I would rather give my input than have the shower turn out to be a disaster or something I wasn't comfortable at.