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I lasted 3 months...never again.
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In laws - my mil probably 3/4 days. My fil probably 10 mins of forcing myself to be polite. I'd rather sleep in my car and have my family sleep in the house.
My parents - happily for the rest of my life, I adore my parents. -
When they come to visit or we stay with them, it's usually thee days or so, and I am 100% DONE after that. They are nice people but they have strong personalities and I need quiet and alone time after a couple of days.
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I couldn't do it.
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I could never live with them but my MIL and SFIL lived with us for over a month a few years ago. It was by far one of the most difficult times in my relationship with DH and I wouldn't want to do it again.
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They are very nice people, so we would get along great but the problem is they are hoarders and smoke in the house so there is no room for us to hang anything or even unpack a suitcase and the smoke is so strong. Their kitchen is tiny too and they are always in it so it's hard for us to even wash a bottle. Oh and they don't have any showers in the house, only tubs lol.
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Love them, but could not do it!
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We lived with them for a month when we were moving. It was fine! I could do it again and the extra help with LO would be great. They are amazing.
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We could totally live with DFIL--he likes privacy as much as we do and isn't nosy at all. DMIL (they are divorced) is a depressed alcoholic on the verge of dementia. 10 minute phone calls are hard. I can't imagine living with her. She stunk as a parent so it's a big game of "not-it" among her kids for who has to spend holidays with her.
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My MIL just lived with us for about 2 months, and it was ok. I wouldn't want to do it again, but if there was a need we would be ok., especially with a couple of ground rules, like, don't go into my bedroom closet and mess with my clothes.
I imagine my FIL would be the same (they are divorced). SMIL though; NO. The last time she stayed here she came out of the shower, totally nekkid and insisted on starting a "conversation" (aka, an argument) with me, while standing there totally naked. wtf; no. She is a, ahem, difficult person.
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I've lived with my in-laws for almost 8 years. YEARS. I lived with them throughout our dating, engagement, wedding planning, pregnancy, and throughout the first year and a half of our daughters life. I'm 17 weeks pregnant with out second and we have no immediate plans to leave. My husband just graduated with his second degree, so hopefully he gets a job teaching in the fall and we can start to seriously plan our escape.
Eight years is WAY too long.
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@Sophs Mama: omg I don't know how you survive!
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Never. I would find alternative housing than that as an option.
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I could probably do 6 months! Especially for a good reason, like financial. I couldn't eat my MIL's cooking every night for 6 months though
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We lived with them for 6 weeks and it was fine. They had a big house and we basically had the downstairs to ourselves. I shared cooking duties with my MIL and it was fun. That was almost 4 years ago, though--now, after having baby, I am much more annoyed with them and would not want to live with them, though I could for only a little bit if I had to.
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I couldn't. I love them, but need a safe distance.
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Never. Ever. They even have a vacation property where they live half the year in costa rica. They beg dh and I to come down and visit. However, the thought of having to stay in a home with them... Dh and I have chosen to stay home in the cold winter rather than go there for a week. That gives an idea how bad it is haha.
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I like my ILs but I think I'd want my own space/privacy again after a week or so!
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@BabyBoecksMom: I don't know how either. Things have gotten a little worse lately, as my MIL doesn't really respect me or my parenting choices, however, we live here for free. That's pretty much the only reason we are still here. If we hadn't stayed, my husband would never have been able to get his second degree.
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I could not.
Actually, Mr. T had me watch a Ted Talk about "Power Poses" last night and suggested I do that before we see his mother. Yeah. I am not an alpha. I like to curl myself into a teeny ball whenever feasible. I do need to get better about it, because pretty much all our issues could be solved if I would be more assertive around her.
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We have before! Over a year. Maybe a year and a half but splt into two times. My mil's house is big and separated so pre-LO it wasn't a big deal. Now with LO it was harder not to have a kitchen to ourselves (eta the more recent time was in between places when we weren sure which city we would end up in..) When we first got married and relocated it was do that or don't relocate, I guess. We have. Totally different life than we would have if we hadn't moved here so even though I was bummed about it at the time I'm glad we were allowed to do that.
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My FIL, probably a week or 2, but not a single minute with my MIL (they are divorced). I think we've reached my DH's limit for staying with my parents....we've been here 3ish weeks
poor guy!
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Zero minutes. They smoke and have no respect for boundaries. We could live with my parents for months though.
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Hm. DH's parents have been divorced since he was tiny and each remarried quickly. I could manage living with MIL and SFIL for awhile. Months, maybe? I would certainly get annoyed but she's pretty harmless and well-meaning.
FIL and SMIL...maybe a week, two weeks? I can imagine that would really, really be pushing it and would not be healthy for any of us. They aren't very present in our lives and have a different outlook on parenting and family relationships than we do. DH told me today that our daughter is the only reason he likes/cares about Father's Day. So, yea. They aren't close. They're buddies but it's not a parent/child relationship and really never has been. I can't imagine living with them. But I would never say never!
On the other hand, we lived with my parents prior to buying our first house for several months and again for 8 weeks while remodeling our only bathroom. I was also 7 months pregnant at the time. It was great and we would happily live there again.
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I really think that i would be content for an indefinite amount of time with my in laws. I absolutely adore them, and we've spent vacations with them and had no issues. They're just about the easiest people to get along with anyone could hope to meet.
My parents, however? An hour. Maybe. Even day trips to see them are beyond stressful.
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I'm assuming there's no other choice here, haha.
I can probably last at least a month if I'm still at work and out of the house most days. If it's during maternity leave or something, then I honestly don't know! I'd do whatever it takes to go to my parent's instead!
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We lived with my MIL & SIL for a year during the time we got married. We both contributed to the household so it wasn't like we were living for free. In the end, we had a huge blow out and we moved out prior to our lease being ready for our first apartment. We're fine now but it was a lesson learned!
I could never live with my FIL and SMIL . Ugh.
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@BabyBoecksMom: 3 days MAX.
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I'd make it work, as long as there was an end date in mind.
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@lauraeabel: Sounds like my situation too. My in laws are great, but my parents stress me out!
I've always been very independant and don't like sharing my space (I've never had a roommate), so I think I could only handle it for a few days before having to get a hotel or a short term rental. If it was my parents I would book a hotel immeditely, I couldn't even handle one night.
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I think we could last as long as we needed to. Same with my parents (although my parents house is CROWDED, and my ILs house has plenty of room).
We're all rather easy-going, and have a good balance of trying to keep the peace and standing up for ourselves - it'd work out nicely
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I couldn't live with my ILs at all, and fortunately/unfortunately we live in the same city, so we don't have to visit and stay with them either.
My parents we could live with for maybe 6 months. We love my family, and get along great, but I think any more than 6 months would permanently put a damper on our relationship. My parents have actually offered to let us live with them so we can save up for a better house, and DH is on board, but I'm not so sure.
Actually, Mr. T had me watch a Ted Talk about "Power Poses" last night and suggested I do that before we see his mother. Yeah. I am not an alpha. I like to curl myself into a teeny ball whenever feasible. I do need to get better about it, because pretty much all our issues could be solved if I would be more assertive around her.
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