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I am also thinking that maybe it's about the delivery? I think we can all be sensitive about our parenting choices and if someone were to question them, he/she would probably need to approach the subject really sensitively. Maybe you did that, in which case, disregard. Just something to think about!
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I do not think reporting this incident helps this family. It seems to me that they are genuinely concerned for their child, even if they are not always making the safest or wisest choices. Getting the parents embroiled in the child welfare system is guaranteed to be a major source of stress for them, and is not a move that seems to me to be well-calculated to helping this family. I wouldn't hesitate to report if I felt there was abuse or neglect, but based on what you've described, their actions are neither of those things, they're just unwise. I would also consider that he may already have decided to change his approach based on the information you gave him, even though he was defensive about it initially.
I think the best approach might be to talk to the baby's mom. Anyone is likely to be defensive when challenged on how they parent, and the dad may not respond very well following an argument with you on the subject. Maybe refer the mom to The Car Seat Lady's website in as non-confrontational a way as you can?
@Glitter: Here's a partial answer: http://www.thecarseatlady.com/buses_and_trains/buses_and_trains.html
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I find that sometimes people will respond as if they are not listening to you or don't care in the moment they are being called out to save face. I'm a teacher and have to confront parents on a pretty regular basis on poor parenting choices and in the beginning many will act very defensive and seem dismissive of my suggestions, but later on I find out that they did take some of what I had to say to heart, but at the time could not admit they may have been making the wrong choice. I don't feel like you are waisting your breath expressing your concerns to this coworker. Just hope that next time he decides to take his child out of the car seat some of what you have said rings true and he decides to make a different choice.
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@MamaMoose: I didn't know that fact. Do you think it's because of safety laws that we have now that weren't in place back then?
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@mjane: @honeybear: thanks!
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@honeybear: legally, not putting a child in proper restraints is a form of neglect. A mandated reporter would be obligated to report this. Obviously the OP is not required to report unless she is a mandated reporter. Child services would likely meet with the family and develop a safety plan. That kind of intervention might help this family rwpealize the risk they are placing their child in.
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This particular person and I have more of a jokey/argumentative relationship- he and I come from very different backgrounds and our opinions vary widely. It wasn't a heated argument, but more of a "wow, we parent really differently" argument. I made my opinion known to him, and I don't think he will change the way he parents regardless of how I came across. I don't doubt he loves his kid and thinks he is doing what's best. So I'm just going to let him do his own thing.
As far as being sanctimonious about the food issue- I stand by what I said to him. A 4 month old does not need solid food, especially processed snacks and chocolate. But it's his kid and his life. However, if he tells me stuff like that or brings it up- I'm
Going to state my opinion. Just like he does when I tell
Him I'm vegetarian or not religious. -
Besides the obvious safety issue, I think that it sets a bad precedent to the kid (obviously not now, but if stuff like that continues) that they indulge her without regard to safety. They give into a scary safety violation to make her happy. Kids need to learn that sometimes you gotta ride in a carseat cause its the law and most safe and deal with it whether or not you agree with it.
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So he's unapologetically putting his child's safety and life at risk? Yeah, it's okay to be judgmental about that. I would have a hard time interacting with this person too!
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