Hellobee Boards

When you're young, you should definitely use your words!!

When you get older though, it gets more complicated I think.

It's hard t know!! like when my nephew who is 18 months and my son who is 12 months play together, often my nephew unintentionally beats up on DS. He hits, bites and sits on DS! haha. I want Cobi to hit/bite back because then my nephew would learn those things hurt and aren't ok, at this point he obviously doesn't realize his strength and what hurts. Being told no at 18 months is a game.

But as he gets old I don't want him to return violence with violence and I want him to be kind and not retaliate... but I also don't want him to be a pushover and be able to stand up for himself but the thought of him getting into a brawl frightens me!

It is complicated like @mrbee said.

As a teacher, I have to write up any child who hits another one...even if they are hitting back in retaliation. Both children will get consequences of some kind, whether it's lunch detention, in school suspension or out of school suspension. But I always explain that it's better to tell an adult what happened than to take matters into your own hands. I deal with many parents who teach their children that it's alright to hit back and that's not allowable behavior in schools. I will teach my children to use their words from the beginning. It's not always easy to refrain from retaliating but it takes a stronger person to walk away.

We are teaching DS to tell an adult. I don't want him to be rough and think that violence is okay. Despite what I've told him, he definitely pushed a little girl after she intentionally spat on him at preschool (yuck!).

I tell LO to say Stop! No! I want her to say it loudly to scare them off and to stand up for herself. I also tell her if she sees anyone (friends) do it to anyone else close by (friends), say the same thing.