Hellobee Boards

Hello, all. I've been away for a little while, but I'm so glad to have the IF check-ins to come back to! Thanks, @Mrs. Polish!

I usually only see immediate family for the holidays, so it isn't too bad because they all know what's going on. It is hard to get those adorable postcards in the mail.

Here's the lowdown on me: Got off BC two years ago, got diagnosed with PCOS, had 3 IUIs, none of them took. Would've continued on to IVF but we moved and insurance changed, and infertility treatments are not covered! Major, major bummer. On the plus side, cycles are miraculously regular, but after 4 cycles with charting & OPKs, still nothing. Dealing with IF while getting treatments is hard, but dealing with IF without any hope of treatment in the near future is a new kind of hard.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to giving and receiving support (and distractions!) through you all!

Being at home for the holidays is tough. I'm the only one without children and I feel like an outsider. Last year at our big Christmas dinner, we all shared a high point from our year. My mom teared up and said her favorite moment was finding out my little sister was pregnant--no mention of my wedding. Wah, wah, wahhhhhh. My birthday is around the holidays, and I think it will be tough this year to not be pregnant. I'm not bothered by the holiday cards.

I've been debating not going home for Thanksgiving. Either I will either have just found out I'm pregnant (I don't want to tell until later on), or that I'm not (and I'll have to work hard not to be the wet blanket). Both options seem tiring to me.

My update: I'm done with the injectables and am in the TWW. Injectables were tough the first night--taking Clomid and Femara felt like we were doing something just to raise our chances. With my thin lining and short luteal phase last cycle, it really hit home that we were most likely not going to get pregnant without medical help. I'm grateful for medicine and don't feel conflicted about it, so I was surprised that I had a night of feeling sad when I lined up all those needles. I'm not feeling excited or hopeful in this TWW, which makes me feel like such a Debbie downer. I'm taking prometrium twice a day. I'm hoping my husband will do an IUI next cycle--I'm really not sure I'll go through all the doctor appointments and injections if he doesn't.

@Ineebee: good to see you here! Well, I wish you didn't have to be here, but you know.....are you taking any medication to regulate your cycles, or have they straightened out on their own?

@Mrs. Polish: thanks for getting us going. How are you doing? What are the holidays like for you?

@mrs.someone: yay for ice cream is right. I'm a fan of Ben and jerry's coffee toffee, the peanut butter cup, and their greek yogurt flavors (banana and raspberry/chocolate). Clearly, I'm a big ice cream fan. I'm so glad the hard work of that diet is paying off for you! I'm eager to hear what the new doc has to say. Is that on Tue. or Wed?

Thankfully I don't have a hard time with the holidays. There aren't many babies around so that probably helps. Also, we are open about our struggles so we don't get any awkward questions.

I have my first FET related appointment next week. I just ordered some more lupron and endometrin. Here we go again!

Popping in to say hi to everyone! I hope that you are all well

I'm hanging in here-sitting at 19w1d, and we made it through our anatomy scan while still being TG. I was worried, but we made it!

@Leialou: @Mrs. Jump Rope: exciting!!

@ineebee: INSURANCE SUCKS! I'M so sorry you are dealing with that, Yay, to cycles becoming more regular

The holidays are usually a mixed bag for me. My immediate family generally knows what's up and there are no little babies. We also get to spend time with my niece and nephew which both breaks my heart and heals it all at the same time......

The hardest event this year will be dinner with the grandparents because my cousin will be there with her new baby and my other cousin (who got married a year after me) is expecting and I feel like the discussion will revolve around babies and showers

My update....not sure where to start really. I have been working with an ND and decided I would go back to the RE (with a different doctor) to see what they recommend going forward. I called ahead and spoke with the director who ok'd the change, was told it would be seamless and that it happens all the time. I showed up from CM and no one knew what was happening with my chart. I explained the situation, they had me sign the switch form and wait. Then OLD RE called my name and I started with the cold sweats. We get to the office and he sees the note in my chart that I have requested to switch.....awkward.....so he says he will go get the new doctor. The new RE comes in the room and immediately starts asking why I want to switch..."the other doctor is very good, you are young, you have lots of time, I think you should stay with Dr.X but if you really want I can see you"..... at that point I was near tears and just wanted out of there. We ended up doing Femera with TI (semi-monitored).

I have decided that after this cycle I will not be going back there and I have a referral to another clinic that one of my co-workers used. I was never really happy at this clinic but the incident last week was really the final straw. I was so humiliated and upset

@pui: I'm so sorry about all the delays, I hope you can get this immunity stuff sorted out soon.

@FaithFertility: FX that its more than just the Crinone. When is your beta? Are you testing at home before hand?

@LovelyPlum: So exciting. I hope to be TG one day

@Happygal: I'm sorry your not feeling positive. Is there a reason your DH is against IUI?

@Leialou: FX for you FET

@Mrs.Someone: Yay ice cream! My DH and I just discovered these orange creamsicle bars at Costco that are dairy-free, gluten free and no sugar added, they are made with coconut milk, best part is the box of 12 was only $5. I hope your appointment goes well please keep us updated!

@Mrs. Polish: I know-craaaaziness

@Happygal: It was a total shock, but my cycles have become regular on their own! They're a little inconsistent (I O between CD16-CD26!), but my LP is always 14 days.

@Leialou: Yay for your appointment next week! Hope everything goes smoothly.

@FaithFertility: If people said that about me at 12DPIUI, I would be going crazy! Wow! And to echo what @pui said, I'm exactly the same way. I mean, I still believe for sure - that hasn't changed. But I get angry at God and I feel like it's not fair, even though I know in my head that that's not how it is.

@mrswin: I can't believe how the doctor's office handled that! How awful! Sorry that you have to switch, but I hope that your new RE will be way more understanding and professional. And sorry about your cousins... That's not something I'd look forward to. I hope it goes by quickly and painlessly!

@mrswin: I'm so sorry. That is awful and awkward. I spoke to a doctor who said he always is encouraging if someone says they want to see someone else for a variety of reasons--I wish they had extended you the same courtesy. I'm glad you can go to a different clinic.

My husband doesn't like the idea of an IUI for so many reasons, none of which really make sense(at least to me). One thing he said was that he wanted to do things as naturally as possible and the fun way. I felt like that went out the window awhile ago! The more I protested, the more he dug his heels in.

@Happygal: no insurance updates, but freedom never shipped my trigger shot & I needed it for as early as today. I'd given my cc info on Wednesday & was expecting delivery today.

I'm so over this. So sick of everything.

In the past, the holidays haven't really been too bad, but this year is going to suuuuuuck. My SIL is preg, and my grandma is flying up from Arizona to be with the family, so I just know that SIL and the baby will be the #1 discussion. Ugh. I'm so bitter about that situation to begin with ... Don't even get me started

No real updates here. Thinking about calling the clinic to find out how soon I can ask for Provera. I'm on cd29, rarely get AF on my own (but when I do it's between cd35 and 40), and I really want to get this cycle moving so we can do our IUI. I have a feeling they're going to make me wait until at least next week though ...

@mrswin: I'm really sorry to hear about your awful appointment. Those doctors were way out of line questioning you like that - so unprofessional. Definitely time to move on.

IF during the holiday season wasn't difficult for me last year because we didn't go home. This year, I will be going home. My sisters and mom know about our struggle with IF and I think my brother has an idea that we are trying for a long time but he's not completely sensitive in what he says. I think I can bet money that when I go home he will say 'So when are you going to pop one out?' I know he is trying to be funny and maybe that's how he thinks the best way to bring it up without being too personal. I've texted my SIL and I don't think she gets it either. She's mentioned a few times about how she is jealous of the travel I get to do. I, then, tell her that I would give it all up to be pregnant. Then she goes on about how hard it is having kids and she wished she had waited. IF Fail! I think at some point I need to open their eyes on how to be a little sensitive around people with IF. I was being to the nice SIL and just giving her a pass in the past but she's said it enough times that it bothers me.

Updates?
I'm on CD4, and I started my femera dose. I had b/w done yesterday and all my numbers looked good (prolactin, E2, FSH, thyroid). U/S is scheduled for CD14 or November 25th. I'm going to start OPKs next week, if I get a positive before CD14, I'll come in for an ultrasound and trigger shot then IUI.
I've mentioned this on my other thread but DH is flying home on Nov 26th! Yup, we will do some crazy stuff the morning before his flight to make sure we get an IUI done before he leaves. Stupid late period messed up my timeline up. I think it's doable, though. Tentative POAS will be Dec 10th.

I am hoping I get a + OPK earlier than CD14 so I don't have to worry about doing the IUI before DH's flight.

I not that hopeful in this IUI but I'm just going through the motions. Still excited about a January IVF!

@Happygal: Hah, I felt ridiculous when we tried it, I'm not up for being THAT adventurous.

Your solution with your husband sounds great. Coming from the RE it should feel like more of an expert opinion, instead of you trying to convince him.

@bluestriped bee: Can you ask your mom to tell your brother to leave you alone? That would definitely be rough knowing he doesn't consider your feelings. And remind me, is this your first cycle on Femera, or did you use it in the past too?

Also, someone just told me how much she likes Dr. H at your clinic, have you seen him? I'm trying to figure out which RE I would see next if the perio doesn't work out.

@bluestriped bee: Hopefully your sisters can make him understand. I was hoping your protocol was somehow different this time. Maybe 3rd time will be the charm, but if not I'll be cheering you on in January

@bluestriped bee: do you kind of wish you could skip this IUI and move directly to IVF? What is your usual lining thickness?

@Septca: hello! Thank you for your comment--it really did make me feel better to hear from someone else who has gone through a similar situation. Have you decided to wait until next month because that is the time that feels right, or are there other factors? I think I saw on another thread that we live not too far from each other--I'm about one hour from NoVa!

Hi gals, doing my update from my phone so I'll go back and read everything when I'm at a computer.

Holidays are hard for me because last Christmas I found out I was pregnant the first time. We found out on Dec 22nd and it was so exciting. We didn't tell any of our family till New Years Eve, but it was so nice to go through the holidays thinking we'd have a baby by the next Christmas. Clearly we do not.
I think this will be my first Christmas without my parents too. First in all 32 years of my life. So that makes me sad. But with the IVF stuff happening in Dec I don't know that I'll feel like being around a lot of people.

Update: So yesterday we met with the RE to discuss the protocol. He went through the list of drugs and when each major step will happen and the (gulp) costs.
So I'm due to get my period next week, right around Thanksgiving Day. He's thinking retrieval in the first or 2nd week of Dec. Day 5 after retrieval, take the cells for PGD and freeze all of the embryos (if any). Then once we know if we have any good ones, transfer them the following cycle, so I guess early January.
The pharmacy already called today to confirm the delivery of my injectibles. Yikes! Makes it seem so much more real.
Speaking of injectibles, holy freaking expensive. $5,000 and our insurance doesn't cover them. Here's to hoping it works the first time! Trying to prepare myself that it won't though, so I don't get my hopes up.
ETA: Actually, our insurance doesn't cover anything. But for some reason the drugs being $5,000 floors me more than the other $12,000 or so for the actual procedural stuff. That just seems so exorbitant for drugs I have to inject myself.

@pui: Thank you, at times I feel the same way, it is such a hard road! I have my days, but IF is so out of my control its nice to put worries and hardtimes in his hands