Hellobee Boards

@mrs. bird: Good luck to you and Mr. Bird!!! Sounds like you have had your share of rough lately.

I have been reading everyone's updates and following along for the past couple of weeks! I have had a hard time commenting, because I am in a really bitter place right now. I was physically pretty miserable all of last week. Between the back pain and the near constant feeling of my ovaries and uterus either feeling like they are going to explode, or are being pinched, I am pretty miserable a good chunk of the time. I have been feeling better this week, at least making it through the day without too much pain, with soreness/pain at night.

Had a big blow up with dh last night. He really has been very supportive through this whole thing, and I think he just finally reached his breaking point. He pretty much told me that I've become a different person and am much more negative and hateful than I have ever been. I know that it is true. I'm really hoping that after surgery, I will be better able to cope with things, even if it doesn't fix the fertility issues. Being in pain all the time is exhausting and draining.

I'm going to try and rally and be "fun" tonight...there is a blazer game on soon, so I need to put my happy face on, go make dinner and be my old self. I'm just not sure how I am going to muster that

@bluestriped bee: Free BCPs where were they when I was on my early 20's That is great...hey any break in the IF wallet helps!!!!

@lazypanda: I am glad your IUI went well!!!! Yay to 9 million!!!! I pray the TWW is fast and has an amazing ending!

@owlteach: I'm so sorry. I think it's so common for IF to cause friction between spouses. When is your surgery?

@mrs. Bird: I'm glad that a Friday will work. Good luck to Mr. Bird. The surgery will go just fine, and you'll be one step closer to baby bird!

@Happygal: I am doing ok yeah they have I am dizzy and nausea pretty much daily, but it comes and goes.....I force myself to eat because nothing sounds good, and my boobs.....well they are sooooo sore....but I'll take it all! I go tomorrow for another u/s so we are praying all continues to go well, thanks for asking!

@FaithFertility: let us know how it goes! I'm praying for you.

@lazypanda: I'm glad you had the whole day off. I physically would have been fine to return to work, but the emotions were high!

@Happygal: Sometimes it is just so hard to be optimistic, even when I know I have so much to be thankful for! I think it just makes us human.

@LindsayInNY: It's ok, I'm crazy like that too

@FaithFertility: I hope things keep working for you! Please don't stop hanging out with us, you give me hope

You are all seriously, so wonderful

@FliegepilzHut: hmmmmm.... not sure. i highly doubt it, i think if you've paid the premium, they have to allow you to utilize your benefits, but i'm not 100% on that. the woman from the surgical center said as long as i know what kind of ins it will be, it shouldn't be a problem, even if i don't have a card or # yet. the potential employer sent mr. bird some info on their benefit options and it looks like we'd have a $1,000 deductible for each of us, but then everything would be covered, so we'd be better off holding off on cobra if he's thinking of going forward with this job because we'd fulfill my deductible immediately with my surgery & that would be less than one month of cobra.

@owlteach: thank you! i'm sorry you're in a bitter place i think we've all been there. i know IF hasn't brought out the best in me at times. sometimes when you fake it 'til ya make it, it gets easier. i hope things look up for you soon

@Shutterbug: you are just the sweetest thing ever!! i think my mom might be able to take me, i'm gonna talk to her about it tomorrow. thank you! are you packed & ready to go?? i'm so excited for you & your trip! brunch upon your return

@Happygal: thanks!

@FaithFertility: good luck at your ultrasound tomorrow!

@Happygal: Hugs to you. I know it's hard to see the point when situations like this happen, but the iui is still a streamlined process! Fx for you!!

@mrs. bird: Go, Mr Bird! And fingers crossed for you, too, that your surgery happens and goes well!

@owlteach: I'm sorry you're having such a down time I hope things get better between you two and that the surgery helps!

Thank you all Sometimes, we need to hear the "tough love". It hurt to hear him say it, but he was right! I think the confusing thing about my reaction is that I've always been good about finding the good in things and "faking" it until I've felt it. Even when I lost my dad very unexpectedly, it hurt like hell (it still does), but I'm thankful that I had such an amazing relationship with such a wonderful man, and that he didn't suffer. Tonight has been a good night

@owlteach: Sounds like you're in a good place... Hang in there!

@FliegepilzHut: thank you! I really appreciate just being able to come here

I realized that when we thought we were just dealing with his IF issue, he was a lot more relaxed and open to everything. We talked more frequently, we were actually trying and he would talk about a future with a baby. Ever since I had a bad doctors appointment in November he has completely changed and it's like he's totally turned off that side of everything. He won't talk anymore about any of it and has made comments about us being happy without kids. So I'm wondering if this is to protect me?!

@alohaorchid: BTW-- I really am glad that this exists!!! It's very grounding for me...and so helpful to get input on things that are worrying me, so that I don't have to keep spinning my wheels...