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If you could select gender would you?

  1. Purpledaisy

    nectarine / 2972 posts

    Maybe... I would really like to have another girl.

  2. snowjewelz

    wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts

    I'd be so tempted to!

  3. Orchid

    clementine / 927 posts

    @looch: yes!!! A good sleeper, I would pay good money for that!

  4. erinpye

    pomegranate / 3706 posts

    No. Something about the prospect makes me feel uneasy.

  5. wonderstruck

    pomegranate / 3791 posts

    Yes, I'll admit it. I would love to have a daughter in addition to my sons.

  6. fairy

    persimmon / 1343 posts

    Yes, in fact that would make the decision to have #2 much easier haha.

  7. meganmp

    persimmon / 1420 posts

    We had the option due to doing IVF, and I was vehemently opposed.

  8. MrsRcCar

    grapefruit / 4712 posts

    Part of me says yes I would love to choose but the other part of me says no because I can't imagine spoiling the excitement for myself.

  9. cascademom

    coconut / 8861 posts

    No. We were pleasantly surprised when we got a boy the firs time. Now, the second time around, we weren't too surprised it was a boy. We hoped for a girl, but even as I got pregnant, I had a feeling it was a boy. I'm cool with being a boy mom and not having a girl. We just weren't meant to have a girl. No big deal.

  10. aderyn

    cherry / 117 posts

    I think I only would if I had say three boys and I wanted a girl. Probably not for the first couple.

  11. Mrs.Pinecone316

    persimmon / 1316 posts

    We did IVF but didn't do genetic testing so it was a total mystery to us what we were having. It's hard to say though, I'd like to say no we wouldn't but if it was our 3rd child and we had 2 of the same sex already and had done genetic testing so we would have that option.. Maybe? I def wouldn't do IVF for the sole purpose of gender selection.

  12. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    No. I wouldn't choose. A healthy baby is all I ever wanted/still want.

    The only time IVF should allow you to select gender is if there is a PGD-confirmed genetic disorder that would prove fatal to a one particular sex.

    And yes, I'm also an IVF patient... and I still wouldn't ever select one over the other.

  13. turquoisemama

    persimmon / 1481 posts

    No, but you should add a pole to this thread! I'm curious to see a graph.

  14. BSB

    hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts

    I'm currently between stages of my IVF cycle (had my ER and will tranfers frozen ones in January) and since this is our first, we did not find out. I believe you can find out with PGD. We didn't do PGD.

    If we got pregnant through this cycle and wanted to do IVF again for #2, I would probably highly consider it, since we want one of each.

    ETA: Also, finances would be a factor, too. PGD is not free! I think it was $2-3K. That's on top of IVF costs.

    Considering we spend $14k for the IVF cycle (includes one ER (embryo retrieval) and one FET (Frozen embryo transfer) and then the cost of meds ($3,500 for me). I'm already at $17K+ for (finger crossed) baby #1. Adding PGD wasn't something we wanted to do since we didn't have any severe genetic risk factors. I would pay for PGD if we had a reason to do it.

    So for me, since I have 7 blastocysts frozen and will transfer 2 in January. If we had to do another FET for baby #2, I would have to re-evauluate our finances. If we wanted to do another FET, it would be another $5K... plus PGD, if we really wanted it.

    So, yeah, it's pretty expensive to do IVF alone. I would have to see if I could afford $7K for another baby and find out the sex.

    Also, for my ER, I was lucky in being able to have some to freeze. Some fellow IVFers weren't that lucky. (My goes out to them.) So you can pay for one cycle and not respond well to the meds and have none or a few to transfer and maybe not enough to do PGD. So this a pretty expensive elective procedure.

  15. BSB

    hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts

    @BandDmommy: Yeah, I think if people knew the costs of IVF ($17K for me) plus PGD (which is about $3k), I think you would get completely different answers here.

    I mean, unless you are a millionaire who has money to burn, I guess I can see paying $20K to select the sex. (Granted, if they had IF coverage where IVF was covered, it would be cheaper, but I don't think any insurance would cover selective IVF with PGD with no IF diagnosis.)

  16. ShootingStar

    coconut / 8472 posts

    @bluestriped bee: I answered the question as if money was no object or if we had to do PGD. Realistically if we were to do IVF and not need PGD? No. Insurance won't pay for it and I wouldn't pay thousands out of pocket just to know. A few hundred? Maybe. Free? Yup.

  17. artsyfartsy

    cantaloupe / 6692 posts

    For my second? No. I always wanted all girls, and I had a boy for my first. I may have picked girl for my first if I could have (definitely glad I didn't! Love my little boy!), but I always said if I was going to have a boy, I wanted to have him first. Now that I got that wish, I'm definitely 50/50 on what I want for my second (and probably last). A little girl like we've always wanted, or two brothers to be best buddies. I'm seriously hoping for both so I will be thrilled to find out either way!

  18. pui

    bananas / 9899 posts

    I would if it was my 4th kid and I had only one gender so far.

    ETA: I also answered as if money wasn't a factor. Obviously irl I'd likely not spend that kind of money just to select sex.

  19. silver1

    apricot / 338 posts

    If I were to have 3 kids then maybe for the third.

  20. lemondrop

    bananas / 9118 posts

    Nope, even with 2 boys already, I'd still have the 3rd be out of my hands.

  21. LindsayInNY

    bananas / 9229 posts

    This is fascinating. With 2 girls now, I would consider it for a 3rd if I needed IVF.

  22. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @LindsayInNY: I’m glad you bumped this thread!
    We are doing ivf now, and have one of each at home. I really want another girl, but ultimately we decided we wouldn’t choose which sex to put in. It turns out that all of our embryos are girls though, so it worked out great!

  23. SouthernGothamCityMama

    coffee bean / 39 posts

    I've got a boy and a girl now and am pregnant with a second boy. I think we're done, and we didn't do IVF, but if....we were to have a 4th and if.... I could choose, I think I'd opt for another girl. Only b/c I love the idea of everyone growing up with both a same-sex sibling and 2 opposite sex siblings. (With the caveat that I truly believe that given the very young age of my children, I actually don't yet know for certain their gender yet, only their biological anatomical sex, and so only time will tell, if I actually have boy-girl-boy.)

  24. LindsayInNY

    bananas / 9229 posts

    @LAZB: Did you do IVF with your first 2?

  25. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @LindsayInNY: nope, this is my first ivf round

  26. Ajsmommy

    pomegranate / 3355 posts

    I would not pick. I always just wanted a healthy baby... and I have one of each so I don't know how I'd pick anyway!!!

    I'll even go so far as to admit that prior to having kids I always thought I'd be a good "boy mom" whatever that meant. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff so I always envisioned having 2 boys. I had DD first and Let me tell you the beauty and love and sunshine she brings to me every day!!!!!! She is a true blessing and I can't imagine having only boys now that I have my DD. But I wouldn't have known that had I chosen to have all boys...

    I know our friends did...and it's kind of weird to know they picked. Not sure why...

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